Killers

Emphysema, they told him. Eyes twinkling, he chuckled with charming nonchalance (gasping for air when he did), because that was his style, and because he already knew. “Tell me something I don’t know,” he said after the chuckle, although the panic in his gut said, “This is no joke.”

They put him on all that shit, and gave him oxygen to suck on, and advised him of the things that he must give up. He gave up the shit and kept the rest. Yeah, there was unbearable pain every day and hour, but it was the loneliness and regrets who were the killers.

Catmesticate

Catmesticate (catfintion) – a sustained, multi-generational attempt to keep felines as pets over which humans exercise control.

In use: “Scientists agree that dogs are domesticated, but after studying the history of cats and humans, concluded that they can’t agree that cats have become domesticated. The conclusion prompted catologists to create a new term, catmesticate, in an effort to define the roles and relationships between cats and humans.”

The Optimist

Our area air improved from Hazardous to Very Unhealthy overnight. We’re also still not actually on fire (knock on wood), and it’s expected to be cooler today, with a high of 97 degrees, and the peaches are ripe and ready to pick.

Just being an optimist.

 

Incatestable

Incatestable (catfinition) – something that can’t be disputed because the cat has decide that it is so.

In use: “The cats’ need to be present when Michael used the bathroom became incatestable as at least one feline raced into the bathroom ahead of him whenever he went in that direction. Wondering what was driving their obsessive interest, he became a master at misdirection and quiet walking. That worked for a while, but he’d forgotten that cats could read humans’ minds.”

Infloofarable

Infloofarable (catfinition) – two or more cats or dogs incapable of being separated or disjoined.

In use:Taffy the blind cat and Bettina became infloofarable after getting to know each other.”

Okay

I’ve noticed people doing this.

I’ve notice that I do it.

After completely something, say reading a few pages of a book, people take a deep breath, let it out, and say, “Okay.” Based on observations and personal experience, it’s a psychological preparatory step. They and I have been putting something off that we planned to do, something we’re not really happy about doing, I think. We keep telling ourselves that we’re going to do it. We’ve have the conversation with ourselves that we can’t put it off any longer, that we’ve stalled long enough, that we are going to do it, and we’re going to do it now. 

“Okay.”

I don’t know where this comes from, but I suspect that I’m mimicking someone in the past, or maybe my wife. I’ve heard bosses say it in this same way. I hear myself say it, and I hear my spouse. I hear people in stores say it to themselves while they’re stocking shelves, and I hear it from baristas in coffee shops as they turn away from the counter.

Deep breath. Release. (Sometimes a sigh.) “Okay,” so soft, it’s like they’re talking to themselves.

I’ve heard it from all age groups, including a young girl. She seemed like a six-year old by size and expression. She was standing about six feet from a car. I saw her take the breath. I heard her say, “Okay.” Then she turned and walked back to the car.

“Okay.”

Okay seems like a uniquely American expression, even if some claims to its origins begin in Germany, Greek, Scotland, and Haiti, along with Puerto Rico and French Louisiana. I have heard it used in foreign television shows made in exotic places like Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and the U.K. I don’t know if the residents of those lands use okay in this context, as a final acknowledgement to oneself, it is time.

Got my coffee. Time to write like crazy, at least one more time.

Okay.

The Car Colors

Walking today, I passed a red car. My thoughts were drifting, and seeing the red car, I thought, I’ve never owned a red car.

Dad had owned a red Thunderbird. That began a stream of recollections about Dad’s cars. He’d owned a turquoise Thunderbird (with matching interior), a maroon Monte Carlo (also with matching interior), beige Corvette and a blue Corvette (guess what color their interiors were?), and a white Chevy Impala, along with a white Thunderbird. Both of the white cars had red interiors.

I thought, what an eclectic mix. But then I reviewed some of my car colors. I’d had a copper Camaro (black interior) and brown Firebird (with a tan interior), a green Mercedes (with matching interior), a white BMW (blue interior), silver Audi (gray interior), orange Porsche (brown and black interior), a silver RX-7 with a red interior, a blue RX-7 with a brown interior, and a black RX-7 with a black interior.

In each case, I’d not consciously decided on a color. It was more of a decision, this is the car for me.

Floofbeard

Floofbeard (flooffinition) – an accumulation of hair on your face from your pet’s demonstrations of affection.

In use: “Quinn leaped up onto Michael’s lap and then marched straight up to Michael’s face. After mewing a greeting, Quinn began purring, rubbing his face against Michael’s cheeks and chin, and nipping Michael’s chin and nose. Within seconds, Michael had acquired a floofbeard.”

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