Category: miscellaneous

The Mom Exchanges

Mom, 90, suffering from several medical conditions, in on many medications. My sisters, Gina, Lisa, and Sharon, live not far away from Mom. An intelligent person and retired nurse, Mom moved into assisted living this year after a suicide threat which she denies.

Before that, she lived with her partner, Frank, in her own home. That changed when Frank died last October.

Gina took Mom in and gave Mom a room with a bathroom. Mom was initially happy but slowly professed that she hated it and wanted to leave and go back to her house. She then began accusing her son-in-law, Pat, of ‘using a device on her head to hurt her’, spying on her, and hiding her TV control.

Pat denies it all. Pat and Mom had a great relationship until five months ago, when Mom’s accusations began. Last September, he converted her back porch into a room so she could live in her house on one level. After Frank died, Pat set up the room for Mom in his house.

Mom has a consistent pattern of accusing others of being mean and hateful to her. She did that with Frank. I never witnessed Frank being like that.

When Mom moved in with Gina, Mom began accusing her of being mean and hateful. I visited for a while and never witnessed Gina being mean and hateful. Those traits are completely contrary to Gina’s personality.

I called to chat with Mom last September. She launched into a diatribe about Frank being mean to her. I said, “Mom, I’m not listening to this. We’ll talk later.” I waited for her to respond. She said, “Okay.” We said good-bye.

Mom reported to Gina that that I’d been mean and hateful and had hung up on her.

Mom told us that Lori is being mean and hateful to her.

Lori at the assisted living facility told us that Mom has given a notice to vacate. Mom told them she plans to return to her home.

Mom’s physical therapist, Jennifer, visited Mom this week. Mom claims that Jennifer witnessed Lori being mean and hateful.

Gina called Jennifer. Jennifer said she witnessed a heated exchange between Mom and Lori. She also reported that Mom is thriving there. She’s using a walker instead of a wheelchair, socializing, and eating well.

Mom told Jennifer that the conversation she was having with Lori was about moving out. Mom insists she’s moving back to her house. Jennifer related to Gina that she told Mom, “I don’t recommend that you leave here or go back home. You’re doing well here but you’re not capable of living on your own.”

I texted Mom today:

“Hey Mom, heard your plans to leave the facility in April. I want to understand your plan so I can stay in the loop. Where are you planning to go and have you talked to anyone about helping you move?”

Mom responded:

“I’m going to my house where I don’t have to pay 5500 a month and be screamed at by this boss. I’m having diarrhea today and last night. I finally got two Imodium‘s but I only have one big pad left many small ones Jennifer, my physical therapist stopped to see me on Tuesday and heard LORI screaming at me about medicine from Sam’s. She said oh, Dee this is too stressful for you. I said I know I’m paying her a fortune to be screamed at. I have asked Lisa when she brings me pads if she ever does to take me home no answer. I’ll probably have to pay Uber. I have to be out by April 18. I’m very surprised to hear from you.”

I replied:

“Thanks for explaining, Mom. I understand you want to go back home. Who is confirmed to help you get there with your things, and what day are you planning to leave?”

She answered:

“No one is confirmed to help me get there with my things. Gina and Sharon don’t speak to me and Lisa doesn’t answer me. All my friends are dead. Ever since Frank died how my children have turned against me, even though I went to the hospital in Gina was proving wrong. The night. I went to the hospital Pat said to me I need to talk to you. I was crying so hard. I said Pat all you have to do is say three words it’s all true and he did not do it so I lost my whole family.”

My sisters, Gina and Lisa, were with Mom when she went to the hospital. Pat was not. Gina and Lisa deny that Mom’s conversation and crying took place.

And that’s where we now stand.

4

The Trends

Interesting trends are taking over the United States.

Manufacturing and production plants are shutting down or gone. It varies by region and industry.

The United States had about 25,000 malls in the 1980s. We’re down to about 1200. Many rural malls have shut down. Stores like Aldi and Dollar General or Dollar Store have replaced them. Some are being successfully repurposed by turning stores into churches. Some areas turn to casinos to counter the loss of malls and manufacturing.

Rural movie theaters are closing, as are rural hospitals, which is creating healthcare deserts.

These are anchor industries. As plants, malls, movie theaters, and hospitals close, jobs are lost, along with local revenue streams. Income drops; spending drops. Local restaurants and service industries suffer. That ripples into the local area’s ability to maintain public buildings, schools, and infrastructure. As these effects are felt, more people move away. People lack incentives to move there. The population shrinks.

With fewer students, rural public schools close. Small community colleges and universities feel it as enrollment drops. Falling enrollments force them to cut programs and raise tuition to fill the gaps, but factors have changed, and the loop of falling tuition and less classes grow.

Railroads, which used to be a rural lifeline, have cut way back in the United States. Small-town passenger train service is mostly gone.

Meanwhile, Data and AI Centers are being built fast. They’re being built in rural areas where there used to be mining or manufacturing. While they’ll provide temporary economic stabilization and add some revenue from construction, these places don’t typically employ many people. Automation takes care of many service needs. Such centers also don’t produce products that can be taken to a store and sold.

I was thinking about all of this because those kinds of economic and service declines in rural areas were a meaningful part of the political environment that helped Donald Trump gain support. He frames his attacks on ‘narco-terrorists’ as a war on crime and drugs. The war in Iran is part of his America First agenda. They build on the same themes of strength, distrust of elites, and national priority that resonated politically in earlier elections.

All those rural trends have been causing a youth drain. Educated young citizens are moving out of rural areas. Those left behind tend to be older and less educated and are more likely to be Trump supporters. For me, then, what Trump is now doing will do little to ameliorate the polarization affecting United States politics.

Long-term rural revitalization isn’t just about economics or infrastructure. It’s deeply tied to political will, governance, and coalition-building. Without bipartisan or broadly supported political action, even the best economic initiatives struggle to take hold.

Trump’s style, though, is exactly the opposite; he goes it alone instead of building coalitions, demonizing political opponents. At the end of the term, we’re likely to see many of the same problems affecting rural areas that we now see. The polarization will remain, but there will be less voters in the rural areas to support people like Trump.

They may have won some short-term victories by putting Trump in office, but the problems remain.

A war in Iran does nothing to help.

1

Dreaming: Not My Glass

I was at a very crowded camp. We were outside. Lot of activity going on, including food and drink being served, and eating. I was not alone but with a group of friends and casual acquaintances, but it seemed to change throughout the dream.

Two parts retain clarity. One, I was drinking red wine in goblets. Almost everyone was, so it was challenging to track what drink belonged to who. Two, a group of Black friends were talking about movies and books. I’d not heard of either one.

One showed me a book. It was thin children’s book. I think it was called Riverrun City. When he showed me the cover, it showed brown cartoon bears moving across it. I thought I’d heard of the book but admitted I’d not read it. I made promises to try to do so as they encouraged me.

I went back to get my glass of wine but couldn’t find it. I recalled that I’d just filled it and set it aside – out of the way – so nobody else would pick it up by accident. It wasn’t where I remembered I put it and thought, I either mis-remembered, or someone moved it.

I spotted another glass at a different location. It could be mine, but I wasn’t sure. I walked around looking but also understood, how the hell am I supposed to know what glass is ‘mine’? They all looked alike.

I went back to that one which ‘might’ be mine. There seemed to be brown fibers floating in it. I tasted it; it tasted like tobacco juice.

This is not my glass, I decided.  

0

Sunday’s Theme Music – Dreamer

Ashland, Oregon — Sunday, March 22, 2026.

Light clouds dappled with gray and white haze the sky. Blue peeks through like a shy child. Sunshine has grown bolder, spreading over the greening valley. 56 F, it’s springy in the best way, with the upper 60s listed as the day’s highs.

My wife and I are going through tasks challenges. Each night we ask the other, “What are you going to get done tomorrow?” The answer must be besides the normal activities. Yesterday, she did the quarterly shredding of receipts. Today, she is cleaning the bottom of the freezer. We have a drawer type freezer. I don’t know what happens in there, but below that drawer gets amazingly messy.

My chores include washing her car, pulling weeds, activating her new ID card, and buying a new phone. I already activated her ID, so I’m 25% done. *smile*

Here’s the long story behind that. I’m retired military, and she’s a retired military spouse. When I retired, my retired military ID became “Indefinite”. It wasn’t really indefinite: a new card was needed when I turned 65. At that point, I was eligible for Medicare Part B. My era’s retired military medical benefits change once I’m eligible for that, as Medicare becomes my primary insurance. My Tricare 4Life becomes my secondary insurance.

My wife’s retired military ID continued expiring every four years. That used to mean a trek to an office where a new card could be issued. The computer systems being used made getting this take about an hour. The local office is in Medford and didn’t do appointments. Everything was walk-in. So we would walk-in, join the line and wait about an hour to 90 minutes.

My wife’s card was expiring in July. Imagine my surprise and delight when the systems reached out and asked if we wanted to renew it online. Why, heck, yeah! Double the surprise when her card now has an “Indefinite” expiration now, too!

Thinking about the political and war news today, and Trump and his support, I wondered, are they dreamers? I’d had a very vivid dream and wondered how their minds work. From my POV, they’re unrealistic and full of illusions and delusions.

Proof of this to me is that Trump says one thing, does another, and it doesn’t work out. He’s done this all his life. He’s had failed businesses and bankruptcies. His supporters say, yes, but he’s a billionaire. Yes, but we know that he built that off his father’s empire, inheriting substantial money, lying, cheating others, suing others to bully them to ‘go along with him’.

Trump breaks promises, laws, rules, and norms. He broke businesses; now he’s breaking our nation, and maybe the world. He’s certainly has made it much messier.

Anyway, with those thoughts stacking in my mind, The Neurons responded with a Supertramp song, “Dreamer”, in the morning mental music stream. That actually had roots in the lyrics “Far out, what a day, a year, a life it is”. Of course, I was shaking my head as I thought it. *smile*

“Dreamer” is a simple song. I found a video of it being done as part of the Night of the Proms series. I always like how the orchestras add to the song. Honestly, I find it fun to watch the musicians and choir.

Hope your day progresses with joy, happiness, and good vibrations for you.

Cheers

1

Running Late: A Dream

I was running late! Very late!

Arriving at where I needed and expected to be – which was never fully realized but was full of busy people – I found the people I work with/for were gone! Worse, I didn’t have the clothing or office equipment like computers and phones which I required.

Tense seconds were spent cursing and thinking. Then, I knew that my team would have provided for me. I just needed to find that stuff.

Considering the environment, I didn’t see anywhere or anything obvious until I spotted a pallet of trash.

Yes, they would hide it there.

I pulled the top of the trash away. Below it was a large black plastic shipping bag. I tugged it out and opened it. Inside were materials marked with my name, including phone, laptop, clothing, and several folders containing information about my assignment and tickets for my trip.

Relieved, I dressed and began wending through the crowd, on my way again.

0

Oops, I DIY’d It Again

The DIY cycle continues. This week, I bought and replaced a burned-out bulb in my wife’s car, replaced window blinds, and exchanged some bathroom faucet cartridges.

The blinds were for the guest room and are part of our modernization process. The window is 72 inches wide. We had wooden plantation blinds in there. While visiting Mom last year, we saw zebra blinds. Deciding that we liked them, we bought them online. They were frankly a very easy swap over. I did need different mounting brackets but that ‘weren’t no thang’. Whole thing of moving the bed to reach the window, taking down the old stuff, putting up the new, and cleaning up afterward took about 45 minutes. The results are very pleasing.

Changing the damn bulb for the car, though, was accompanied by a lot of GRRRRs and swearing. The bulb was in my wife’s 2003 Ford Focus driver side headlight. It’s a tight space, cleverly engineered, but TIGHT, and required a lot of working via just the feel of my fingers. Removing the old one took about forty-five minutes and ten thousand swear words. Most started with F. Putting the new one in required another fifteen.

The thing is, the bulb is held by a spring door, if you will, which must be pinched and swung aside to get it out. Man, that thing refused to obey my bidding.

But it’s done.

As for the Kohler faucet cartridges…

This is a regular thing. We have three bathroom sinks with these cartridges with two per sink. They seem to need to be replaced about every four to five years. It’s exasperating but easy. I only needed to do one cartridge, one sink on this round. Five minutes, in and out.

Now I’m waiting to see, what’s next?

Something always emerges in DIY world.

0

The Trend…

Excluding oral surgeries, I’ve had four surgeries in the past half dozen years.

A urologist did the first for a blocked bladder. Next came a broken arm and orthopedic surgery, followed by an orthopedic surgeon repairing a ruptured tendon. Then, last fall, a different surgeon removed my gallbladder.

What’s interesting about this is that these four surgeons left the system within a few months of doing my surgery.

My suspicions are inflamed. Were they just put there to operate on me or did operating on me give cause to have them removed?

Either way, it’s a troubling trend.

I’m keeping an eye on my oral surgeon. At least he’s still here.

For now.

0

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