Failure
The royal clowder gathered for the morning meal inspection. Knowing how critical the august felines could be, he followed the traditional instructions to the letter, calling them out by name as they sat and judged, enthusing about the food choice, opening the can with a flourish, and then placing it in three clean bowls and mushing it up for easy devouring.
Next was the important step. With a deep breath to calm his nerves, he ceremoniously turned and set the bowls down by each cat, reverently speaking their names as he did, “Boo, Tucker, Papi.”
The three stared at the bowls. Boo spoke for the others. “This again?”
Giving him lingering looks that reeked with disapproval, the three stalked away.
He had failed again.
The New Wife Dream
I was given a new wife. I don’t know what happened to my wife and why this was necessary, but a bald white man in a gray business suit looked at a clipboard and made the proclamation in a broad, airy conference room. My new wife was the younger sister of a high school girlfriend. She’d been two years behind me in school.
My new wife and I shook hands and talked. She was as I remembered her, and wore a white blouse. She was pleased with the new relationship. So was I.
She and I went out and sat down on the ground, on white cement. I discovered then that I worked for the Pittsburgh Steelers. The current quarterback, Big Ben Roethlisberger — in uniform — walked up to us and enthused, “How cool it was to see me walking down the tunnel when I was coming up after the game. I’d thrown for 375 yards, four touchdowns, and no interceptions. It was a great game.”
While talking with Ben, we discovered a commercial was being made. We zipped down and watched a fraction of it — something to do with cars, and it used a superball to identify the cars by bouncing the ball off them — and then zipped back to our space on the white cement. The superball being used took off from the shoot location. As it shot by, I grabbed it to return to the shoot. Ben was amused. “They have people to chase those balls down, and they probably have a hundred of the balls.” That made sense. I felt sheepish.
A woman came by looking for me and my new wife. She and I were selected to participate on some special research team.
My new wife and I left, though. Going down to another part of the building, we discovered new cars were on sale. My wife wanted one, so she picked out a small but sporty gray sedan and took it for a test drive. I walked alongside her as she drove it around. I then saw motorcycles for sale. After checking one out, I asked for permission to take it outside for a test ride. That was granted, so I zipped around outside. The motorcycle was not large, but it had strong acceleration, knobby tires, and a comfortable ride. I was pleased and decided I would buy it.
We went into the dining room to get something to eat. It was set up with a buffet line. Not many people were there. I took the last of the baby carrots with peas in butter sauce. I was really excited to get them. A man in a suit showed up. He wanted me to pay for the meal by putting it on my room. I explained to him that we weren’t staying there, that I was a new member. That’s where the dream ended.
Tuesday’s Theme Music
Tuesday has come upon us, sunshine, clouds, and wind in my region. Looks like an artist took spray cans of gray, blue and white and began spraying, but ran out before anything was finished. The temperature is a comfortable 50 F although the wind has a bite that’s worse than its bark in the way that some wintry winds can manage. The weather prognosticators claim that the high is going to be 50. We’ll see.
But, happy solstice! Yes, it’s December 21st. Some years it’s on the 21st, others, it’s on the 22nd. Don’t know what it is this year, but this is supposed to be our shortest period of daylight. Previous years of observations show that, no, it probably won’t be. But we celebrate solstice as a holiday in our household, picking it up from the pagans. It’s all about meeting with friends, eating earthy foods, drinking wine, making wishes for the future, and stoking a fire against the cold darkness.
For the record, today’s sunrise was 7:36 AM and sunset is scheduled for 4:42 PM.
Today’s song comes from reading various accounts of people who dismissed COVID-19, dissed wearing masks, scoffed at the vaccines, and smirked at social distancing. Then, some — can’t say how many — contracted the virus, and went through some horrible shit, becoming hospitalized and intubated. Then — can’t say how many — some died, leaving relatives to write the follow up posts. Moms, fathers, sons, and daughters.
Out of that stew of reading and thinking about learning and not learning, arose Alanis Morissette with “You Learn” from Jagged Little Pill (1996). What’s ironic about this release (sorry about that) is that the other side of this single (what a quaint idea that is now, the flip side of a single record) was a song called “You Oughta Know”, an angry, sexually explicit rage-on about a terminated relationship that swept across the country. It’s ironic because it was the B side. The A side is supposed to be the major hit.
The lyrics that inspired the song for today:
h/t Genius.com
Here’s the music. Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as need be, and get the vaccine and boosters when you can. Don’t force another to finish writing your story. Now, I need to rescue a lonely cuppa coffee from the kitchen. It’s my good deed for the day. Cheers
On the Stream
Haven’t done a ‘what I’m watching’ update in a few months. I know it’s critically important for others to know what I watch. Actually, I always hope that someone reads it and steers me to something new.
First, a word on Hulu. I don’t think they get the whole ‘cut the cable’ angle. They’re claTiming to be part of that movement but then turn around and do Hulu Live, which is essentially a repackaged cable offering, except it’s streaming. It doesn’t address the element that triggered the cable cutting wave, that you can have a zillion channels and have nothing because — 1, it’s old and you’ve seen it a gajillion times. 2, it’s shite, and does not draw you in. So, Hulu offers Hulu Live for just under $70 a month. Ooh, such a bargain! I don’t watch much Hulu. I have basic. They haven’t enticed me to try more. BTW, Paramount + is following the same pattern. Oh, boy, look at our old NBC stuff. Isn’t it great? No, it isn’t.
- One that my wife enjoyed twenty years ago is a show called Third Watch. She was lamenting at the month’s beginning that she wouldn’t mind seeing that show again. She’s a big Bobby Canavale fan. Well, ‘lo, the streaming Gods heard her because the next night, I checked out The Roku Channel, and they had just added a ‘new’ show, Third Watch. So we inhale one of those episodes each night.
- Likewise, a current favorite has returned for another season. This is a show called The Expanse. We watched the first five seasons. When the new season showed up on Amazon Prime, we started watching the series over again. Featuring a lot of strong female and minority characters, along with a solid hard science fiction plotting, thrilling action, multiple story lines, and politics, it’s an engrossing experience. I finished Ray Donovan, and will watch the movie when it arrives in Feb. I’m also looking forward to the Jack Reacher series. I never bought into Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher. Sorry, but Reacher was supposed to be a lean 250 pounds muscular presence. Cruise was significantly shorter and less muscular. I’d watch Goliath in its initial seasons but it took a strange turn to us in its latest offering, turning us off rather than pulling us in. I’m watching Dexter New Blood, but my wife wants nothing to do with it. Dexter seems off to her, and the villain isn’t villainy enough.
- Just finished Amsterdam Undercover on Walter Presents via PBS via Amazon Prime. Just four episodes to it, but I enjoyed the chemistry between the actors and the fast-paced stories.
- Over on Apple Plus, we’re treating ourselves to Ted Lasso and Mythic Quest. We finished Invasion, which had potential but dawdled too much for my taste. We tried Foundation, but after watching the first one, I thought, that’s not how I remember it. So I pulled out my copy of the novel and confirmed that they’d made significant ‘updates’. I understand and accept some, but it mostly put me off the series.
- On Netflix, we’re watching Bordertown. I’d started it before; when I resumed, my wife expressed interest, so we started it over. We also watched The Unforgiveable because I’d watched the original Sally Wainwright series. Put Sally Wainwright’s name on something, and I’m there.
- We tried Disney Plus (Apple Plus, Hulu Plus, Disney Plus, Paramount Plus — I see a ‘me, too’ pattern) to check out some Marvel offerings. Most Marvel offerings don’t move us. Sadly, that’s the case with Hawkeye. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings was okay. We did watch and enjoy Jungle Cruise, because it was campy and silly and didn’t take itself seriously. Hard to go wrong with Dwayne Johnson, though. We watched Red Notice because he was in the cast, but it was with a shrug, some interesting moments strewn along long chase and fight scenes.
That’s all that comes to mind. There are probably other shows and movies, but my coffee cup is empty. Cheers
A Greeting Card
I had to go out for a greeting card for my Uncle this weekend. Somehow, I’d overlooked getting him a card. Receiving his in the mail was an ‘oh, shit,’ moment.
We have some on hand but none work for him. My father is the oldest. This uncle is one of Dad’s younger brothers, the older of the two younger brothers. There are also two sisters, all still alive and in their seventies and eighties. Uncle P was in the Air Force at the same time as I was, stationed in the San Antonio area when I went through basic training there. I was eighteen. He and his family treated me to Thanksgiving (Detroit and Dallas played) and took me out to do things when I earned free time and passes. Later, now married, I was stationed in the area on permanent assignment. Uncle P and his family again gave us a place to go, a family to connect with thousands of miles from home.
He’s endured the usual life movements. Children grew and married. Grandchildren were born. He had three children, two daughters and a son, ranging in age from one to six years younger than me.
Uncle P’s wife died of breast cancer four years ago. His youngest daughter died in 2020. His son died in 2021. Cancer for both. One daughter remains, but she’s a gem.
So, finding the right card for him was challenging. The cards were picked over, of course. Several stores were visited. Eventually the right card was found to help tell this man how much he’s meant to me and my wife, how sorry we are for his losses, how we hope that 2022 is a brighter year for him.
It’s a lot for a card to carry.
Microwave Outage
We went through another microwave outage this weekend. Saturday afternoon. My fault, I think. I’d heated food up for a cat so I could put his medicine in it. Opened the door while it was running. Pop, goes the fuse. Fortunately, I’ve been through this exercise. Pulled and replaced the fuse. Which didn’t fix it. Blew that one, too. Went off to buy more fuses once the stores were open.
The door micro-switches were the most likely source on this three-year-old GE Profile appliance. I pulled those. Examined and reset them. Installed a new fuse. Reconnected the control panel so I could test the microwave. Success. Put everything back together. Ordered new door switches to have on hand, in case this happens again.
Michael Seidel, writer 