Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Cancflooflation (floofinition) – An event, plan, action, or activity that is stopped due to an animal.
In use: “They’d planned to clean the house but a cancflooflation was made because the cat and dog were sleeping together in a long patch of sunshine and looked so darn cute.”
After enjoying scrambled eggs with bacon, toast, and hash browns, I returned to the apple diet. Then I awoke from my dream.
A pattern emerged regarding my hunger. I eat breakfast within my first hour of being awake. You know, bathroom, feed cats, shower-shave-dress, and then breakfast. Day 1 of the AD, I ate apples for breakfast, but was hungry throughout the day, and ended the day hungry. On the second day, I didn’t get hungry until about three in the afternoon. Today, I wasn’t hungry until noon, but I was then ravenous. Television viewing affected it today. I watched NFL football. Any idea how many times food commercials are shown during NFL games? They’re all about pizza and fast food. I don’t eat meals from fast-food restaurants, but I enjoy burgers and pizza.
Granny Smith apples are at the bottom of my apple list. Just so damn sour. Think sour Gummis. Sour Patch Kids. Lemons which aren’t ripe. Grapes that aren’t ripe. An IPA with high IBUs. I adjusted by cutting my GS up first thing in the morning, and then eating a slice or two with the other apples.
The cats have learned that I’m not eating anything interesting. Using their noses and sound cues, they’ve quickly adjusted to the new diet and don’t come around to see what’s on my plate.
I’m already planning my first meal after this is over. Anyone want a Granny Smith? I have one left. They’re really good. Trust me.
Sunny and windy, with a warming trend, is how I describe this Sunday, January 9, 2022. The sun kissed the sky, rousing it with rising light at 7:39 AM, and will flee the scene at 4:57 PM. We’re warming quicky, going from 31 at daybreak to 42 now, on our way to 54 degrees F as our high.
Today is the final day of our three-day-apple diet — I’ll write about it later. A request was just received and accepted to swap Food & Friends delivery days, so we’ll be out doing that tomorrow at ten.
Today’s theme song is “Radio Radio” by Elvis Costello from 1978. The song arrived in the morning mental music stream via Facebook comments. A younger cousin was joking about kids getting texts or emails about school cancellations because of snow. He said that he used to have to watch television, scanning the bottom scroll. I replied that we needed to crowd around the radio and listen in our day. As expected, Mom chimed in that back when she went to school in rural Iowa, there weren’t cancellations for the weather. Mom wins.
Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed, and get the vax and boosters when you can. Have a nice day while I have a nice hot cuppa coffee. Cheers
Peeping Floof (floofinition) – Animal who likes to furtively spy upon others.
In use: “One dog, two cats, one crow, and one squirrel — all were peeping floofs, monitoring every move that Wade made, from the bedroom to the bathroom, kitchen, garage, office — a peeping floof was always monitoring him.”
Walking along the streets yesterday, I realize that I’d picked the wrong time of day for a constitutional. It was dinner preparation time. Smells from people’s cooking clouded the air. I swear that I smelled a grilled steak with garlic bread and onions. And here I am, eating nothing but apples.
Stickers on fruit exasperate me. Yes, this is a first world complaint. Two or three stickers are on each apple. Removing them requires some thumb-nailing. One typically comes apart as five or six tiny pieces.
The apple diet is an Edgar Cayce thing. My wife and I discovered Edgar Cayce in our late teens. Cayce was as a clairvoyant who claimed to channel information from his higher self while in a trance-like state. People wrote to him for advice, especially about their health. We came to learn about Cayce through books by Jess Stern.
Cayce made a lot of predictions that didn’t work out. But some of his notions intrigued us, and we adopted some of his eating and healing guidance. One of those things is the apple diet. On it, you eat nothing but apples for three days. You also drink water. Black coffee is permitted, too. The idea is that eating only apples will detox you or cleanse your system of its toxins. We’ve done this diet many times before, but not in several years. Now in our mid-sixties, battened down against COVID-19, limited in diversions because travel is restricted, we thought we’d entertain ourselves by eating only apples. I mean, I’ve been working on a jigsaw puzzle, but the pieces don’t taste as good as apples. I’m doing this to be a supportive husband, though. That’s what I tell myself. Several times a day.
We went out on Thursday and bought a variety of apples totaling enough for two people eating six apples a day for three days. That makes some number that is two times six times three. Beyond that, it’s pretty easy. Put six apples into a bowl each morning. Peel off the stickers, wash it, slice it up, and eat it when you’re hungry.
It’s not bad, as diets go. (That’s what I tell myself. Several times a day.) Limited in scope and duration. Easy to follow. And we like apples. I wouldn’t want to do it for longer than three days, though, although I do like the cleanup. Much easier than the messes made by plant-based burgers, pasta, fish, etc.
The most interesting part of this are the looks received from the cats when I bring in a plate of sliced apples. They’re like “Hey, what do we got?” Sniffing is exercised. Then comes the stare. The stare says, “Seriously? Where’s the real food?” The stare is fraught with betrayal and disappointment.
“I know how you feel,” I answer. Their expressions change to pity. One of them pushed a piece of kibble to me.
Seriously, the apple diet is not bad. That’s what I tell myself. It’s. Not. That. Bad. At least I still have coffee.
“It’s gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiny day.” Already is. H/t to Johnny Nash for those words and the song they’re from, “I Can See Clearly Now”, from 1972. That’s my theme music today.
Today is Saturday, January 8, 2022. Man, the year is flying by. As this is the late Elvis Presley’s birthday, let’s pause for a moment to imagine an 86-year-old Elvis.
39 degrees F right now but we expect a high of 49 degrees and a low of 32. Not bad for a winter day in our valley.
On happy news, our zip code, 97520, has reached the 80% vaccination rate for our eligible people. Yea, us. On a less happy note, the zip codes around us are mostly mired around fifty to sixty percent, including the large city nearby, Medford. Of course, the Omicron variant has cases zooming to record levels.
Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed, and get the vax and booster when ye’ can. Hope you have a bright sunshiny day. I’m gonna go get a hot, hot, black cuppa coffee. Cheers
Floofchief (floofinition) – 1. Playful misbehavior or troublemaking by an animal, especially in a pet.
In use: “The big dog and little cat were full of floofchief, chasing and ambushing one another, but also chasing the children, and letting the children chase them.”
2. Cloth used to clean off an animal.
In use: “Sebastian was known to slobber and drool — he was a big old dog — so it wasn’t surprising that Sid carried a floofchief around to tend Sebastian whenever necessary.”
