Floof School
Floof School (floofinition) Institution which has been guiding and instructing animals for living with humans for centuries. Although primarily dominated by cats and dogs deciding to become pets, enrollment has spiked, with a huge and diverse student body, as human’s activities encroach on animals’ habitats, forcing the animals to learn how to live with humans.
In use: “There are courses of studies for cats, dogs, and other creatures to become pets, but the Floof School has noticed that many animals are taking other species’ courses, with, for example, a Dachshund enrolled in the cats’ courses, and a Siamese auditing the German Shepherds.”
The Teams Dream
I was a young man — again — for this dream, in my late teens or early twenties. I was with a woman at the beginning, in a suburban setting of houses, streets, and parks. About my age, she seemed like a relative stranger. We were just being informed by a tall pale woman that we’d been selected for a team. That pleased us both. We were selected for different teams, which made us laugh. Each team had a uniform and marker. My uniform was black and yellow like a bee. Her uniform was something like pink and black. Others were white and black, and light blue and black.
We readily grasped the rules although it’s nothing that I can recount. Each morning, we showed up and raced to procure a specific object, like spoons or fish, or to recruit people by tagging them with your marker, according to instructions provided by the tall, ball woman. My marker was black and fuzzy. I could throw it at people and make it stick, sometimes throwing curve balls to make this happen, or from extreme distances, astonishing myself and others. Each day became a fun, constant race to get this done, and then get back to our homes. My friend and I taunted one another in a good-natured way throughout the event, along the lines, “I’m going to win today,” and “See you at the finish line, loser.”
We found ourselves in small single-winged prop planes. I began trying to drop my marker onto people below, but the marker was turning into fish as it hit them. I’d tell them, as they picked up the fish and looked up at me in the plane, “That’s supposed to be a marker.” They didn’t understand that any better than a fish hitting them.
We ended up at the ocean, in waves. I ran out through the surf and then turned and entered a cove. At that point, I realized, I’d gone the wrong way. That put me way behind.
I’ve lost, I realized, then decided, I need to start again.
Flooftap
Flooftap (floofinition) – 1. Gesture used by animal or human to attract the other’s attention.
In use: “Michael used a flooftap on Boo’s back to get the cat’s attention, but was quick — the cat was notorious for whirling and whipping up a disapproving paw, claw extended, without notice.”
In use: “As Michael went about cleaning food bowls prior to replenishing them, Tucker gave his foot a flooftap in passing, like, buddy, can you spare a kibble?”
2. Water faucet where a pet likes to drink.
In use: “Bobbi washed her hands, opened the bathroom door, and was immediately confronted by the Sweeney’s large Golden Retriever, ready to come in to use the flooftap for a drink.”
The Appliances Dream
My wife and I were once again young and were living in a home with an enormous kitchen. Filled with hyper-modern stainless-steel appliances, it had blonde wood cabinets and a dark, brick red tile floor. I didn’t think that combo worked in the dream but shrugged it off. Besides those aspects and the appliances, I don’t think the room had any windows, but it did have two sinks, which impressed me although I wondered if two sinks were necessary, and a huge work island with a redwood top.
I actually spent the first dream segment admiring where I was, the newness of the appliances, the size of the kitchen, how modern everything was. The refrigerator especially impressed me. About eight feet tall, the combo refrigerator-freezer unit featured an interesting, complex set of controls on the side to control different interior sections to store different foods at different temperatures. Beyond that, I drifted to looking at the range and stove, microwave, and dish washer. Looking at the microwave led me to exclaim, “Look at all the things it can do,” but in the immediate aftermath of that, my wife said, “The refrigerator isn’t working.”
She said that with angry intensity and stormed around the kitchen, complaining about it, talking about shutting it off, calling repair people, etc. I returned, “Hold on, it has this complex control. There’s probably a self-diagnosis aspect to this.” As I began thumbing through the electronic menus, she then announced, “Now the microwave is broken.”
Going to her, I asked, “How is the microwave broken?” Instead of answering me, she began furiously cleaning the floor with a mop and rag. I tried talking with her, but she brooded and focused on cleaning. She surprised me by sliding the large island to one side to clean the floor beneath it. As the island had covered the floor, it looked spotless, which I pointed out. Answering, “It still needs cleaned,” she stormed away to get more cleaning supplies. Figuring that I wasn’t going to dissuade her from cleaning, I cleaned that floor section, and then moved the island again and cleaned the floor there.
Dream end.
Finished
Finished editing and revising The Constant. Final results: 391 pages, 106,291 words. Speculative science fiction mash up. I’ve worked on it throughout the coronavirus pandemic, beginning it around the time in March of 2020 when wearing masks, social distancing, isolation, and watching the daily case numbers became the new norms of the age. I’d been forced into a change of my writing practices. I liked walking to get into the writing rhythm, writing in my head as I did, then settling into a coffee shop, comforted and buffeted by the business activities around me, lowering my head and writing for a few hours. That was all forced aside under COVID-19 rules. Staying at home, shifting into the writing rhythm without the associated rituals was an exhausting, frustrating shift.
Satisfying feeling to finish the novel. I often think of James Caan as author Paul Sheldon in the movie version of the Stephen King version, Misery, when I finish a novel. He had a ritual for when he finished his. He writes ‘The End’ on the final page in pencil. Stacks and tidies the manuscript. Puts it into an attaché. Pours a glass of champagne. Regards a cigarette. Puts it in his mouth, lights the match and then the cigarette. Takes a drag. We learn later, when he’s under Annie Wilke’s care (the nurse and fan played by Kathy Bates) that this was his ritual created when he finished his first successful novel. It’s an engaging film. Was released in 1990. Wow, thirty-two years ago. You should watch it if you haven’t seen it. Also a good book to read. Misery, by Stephen King.
I don’t have any rituals. As others noted after I posted about wrestling with a chapter called Thelma & Louise, it feels good to finish a challenging task. Writing a novel is a challenging task. Finishing it is rewarding. Too, I feel the loss of being done, something felt when I changed duty stations in the military or advanced from one grade to another in school as a child. You’ve done something, and you’re moving forward; yet, to do that, some things must be left behind. What is left behind is part of my fabric of daily activities and focus. Finishing the writing of a novel is about change that I’ve forced on myself.
It’s a change I accept. I’ve done it before. I’ll do it again. The process and finishing are a comforting buffer against the war videos emerging coming out of Europe as Russia attacks Ukraine.
The Powers Dream
The dream began with me as a young man again — a common element in my recent bout of dreams — with friends and family members. My wife wasn’t present in the dream, though.
With friends and family, a large house was being emptied and cleaned. In fact, we’d finished doing that and were now walking through on a final inspection. Everything was immaculate. Thick, China blue carpeting was underfoot. White, unmarked paint on walls. Windows which were clear and clean. Bright sunshine lighting landscaping outside them. I went from room to room, looking in, satisfied, speaking to a female friend accompanying me, explaining to her that I’m moving.
But then, I entered a room where my little sisters were supposed to have cleaned. Something in their giggling demeanors provoked suspicions about what they’d done so I questioned them. As I did, I inspected more closely and found that they’d not cleared away a large cache of papers, as they should have done, but had tried hiding it under a remaining piece of furniture.
I berated them about taking shortcuts and deceiving me. They were abashed and apologetic. Taking the large pile of papers to hand, we began discussing how to get rid of them when I found that I could breathe on them and set them aflame.
The discovery delighted me. More impressive, only the paper burned. Amazed and astonished by this, I walked around showing off this new skill. Then I somehow learned that I could even burn paper with my breath while underwater. That seemed ridiculous because, how can I breathe and set the paper on fire and hold my breath while underwater? It all seemed incompatible. I learned that I wasn’t underwater but under the surface of reality. Well, how cool was that? Refining my knowledge, I clarified that under reality was very like being underwater and that I could ignite the paper with my breath underwater because I didn’t need to hold my breath. As I went through this process, I discovered that I could stay underwater indefinitely and that being underwater was no different from being in the air on the surface. I moved the same, weighed the same, etc.
After showing everyone how I could go below the surface, I tried teaching them how to do this as well. None of them could. But during my efforts, I found that I could also fly. I was like, wow, I can go through the air, flying, like a fish goes through the water while swimming.
After testing and demonstrating this new skill, realizing that I could fly as far and high as I wanted, I wondered what had changed that allowed me to suddenly gain these new powers?
Dream end.
