I was sitting there eating green grapes for breakfast and thinking, isn’t it weird that ‘grape’ is purple?
Floofroad
Floofroad (floofinition) – 1. The path taken by an individual to meet an animal, or vice versa. Origins: early 21st century Internet.
In Use: “Mark’s normal floofroad for finding strays is just to open the front door. It’s like, if he opens the door, they will come. And he can never turn any away.”
In Use: “Many people’s floofroad to a new floof addition to their home begins with a visit to an animal shelter, but more frequently in this Internet age, the floofroad begins on social media.”
2. The course an animal takes to get from point to point.
In Use: “Papi’s floofroad is never straightforward, as he engages serpentine routes to go from door to door — except when he’s heading for his food bowl. Then he’s like an arrow shot from a bow.”
Thursday’s Wandering Thoughts
Every once in a while, a website that I visit will change their layout. WordPress has done it today, forcing me to ‘search’ for the stuff I generally use, adjust to where they put things, and new features. I say ‘search’ like that because I can’t just slide my mouse to its usual position and click. I’m forced instead to use my eyes and scan the page and then employ my brain. It’s difficult. TG for coffee.
Inspired by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, I’ve come up with my five stages of coping with a website redesign.*
Warning: there’s a ton of f*****g cursin’ involved with a website redesign for me because I’m easily irritated and was enlisted in the military for twenty years. Back then, before cell phones and computers, swearing was our primary pastime as we hurried and waited.
- Realization. Where is the — what the actual f**k – m*therf****r, they changed the f*****g web page.
- Complaining. Jesus, WTF did they do that? Where is – damn it, they changed everything. They f*****g changed it all. Now I have to find my favorite things and the things that I use all over again. Jesus Christ, just what I f*****g needed today.
- Promises. I’ll tell you what, if I ever find another f*****g website that works as well as this one does – or did, until they did this s**t – I don’t know how it’ll work with all these god**n changes they’ve made – I will switch so f*****g fast, their f*****g heads will f*****g explode.
- Grasping. Okay, wait, here’s what I wanted. A pull-down menu. Well, that’s f*****g stupid. Why the f**k did they put it there? WTF. It was fine right where it f*****g was. There was no f*****g reason at all to move that. What else did they f****g move? S***heads.
- Stewing. Okay, I think I can live with this crap and these f****g changes, but I don’t f*****g like it. grumble grumble mutter mutter imprecations
*These stages can also be employed for when a store rearranges its aisles and products, and you rush in to grab the one thing you need and it’s not there because they moved it, forcing you to run around the store in search of.
Flooven
Flooven (floofinition) – A blend of ‘floof’ and ‘haven’, means a place or space where an animal feels safe and comfortable. Origins: 2023, North America.
In Use: “Cats often enjoy secreting themselves in places where they can’t be found, but Trucker, with his ability to open and close drawers, cupboards, and doors, took it to new levels with floovens throughout the house. Nobody ever knew where they would find him next.”
In Use: “Barney was a large dog, a sweetheart who’d been abused as a puppy, who needed a quiet place as a flooven.”
Wednesday’s Wandering Thought
Governor Jim Justice said Tuesday night at the Republican National Convention, “The bottom line for why we’re here, the bottom line to every single thing going on in this great country today, is one thing. We become totally unhinged if Donald Trump is not elected in November.”
I think you’re already totally unhinged if that’s your position. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that others agree. Either way, the thought of the likes of you being totally unhinged is a damn scary idea.
You’re already the flippin’ unhinged MAGA party, home to conspiracy theories, unproven lies, and bizarre ideas.
There’s the Evidence
MPS has the tapes on Trump’s shoes.
Tuesday’s Wandering Thoughts
We went out for breakfast this morning. Over at the next table, we heard a woman rave about what a great choice J.D. Vance was as a veep choice. “He’s so smart,” she enthused.
Sure, smart. I’d say Vance has the morals, ethics, and principles of a snake, but that would be an insult to snakes.
He has the same morals, ethics, and principles of Trump, though. They’re a perfect match and neither can be trusted.
Pawcity
Pawcity (floofinition) – A small amount of something taken by an animal through the use of a paw. Origins: 1960s New Floof City. Closely related to an English word, paucity.
In Use: “Unseen on a chair, the cat reached up and seized a pawcity of chicken off of Karla’s plate.”
In Use: “Whenever Jim and Greg looked away, their big dog snuck a paw out to steal a pawcity of their food.”
Saturday’s Wandering Thoughts
I think one thing that can help foster strong long-term relationships is understanding the others’ food preferences and habits, and ensuring they’re taken into consideration. Like, knowing she enjoys the Outshine Tangerine bars, and letting her have four instead of dividing the box equally. Or, for example, knowing that I like pie, and bringing me home a piece just to surprise me.
Floofvibe
Floofvibe (floofinition) – A sense or feeling between a human and an animal, or between one or more animals, that trust and friendship can be found in the other(s). Origins: Late twentieth century, United States west coast.
In Use: “Sometimes, the floofvibe is so strong, the connection is immediate and permanent.”
Michael Seidel, writer 