Floofsumptive
Floofsumptive (floofinition) – 1. Descriptor for an animal’s approach who assumes they are the apex resident in a household. First noted use circa 1970, New York, USA.
In Use: “Closed doors impinged Queen Champ’s floofsumptive foundation that something must be happening on the other side. This was her empire and announced her displeasure with loud caterwauling and scratching.”
2. An animal which takes for granted that they are authorized to go anywhere, do anything, and eat everything. Origins: 1740 colonial America.
In Use: “As soon as food was set down, Sheldon made a presumptive claim with his chompers, no matter the food group.”
3. A belief that animal’s movements, activities, or behavior is expected and predictable. Origins: AOL, late 1990s.
In Use: “Following a floofsumptive bias, Kelly expected Hannibal to trot out and greet her, but the little pup was nowhere in sight, inducing floofxiety in her that something had happened to him.”
Floofdant
Floofdant (floofinition) – 1. Person who is always telling stories or sharing facts about animals.
In Use: “A foster mother for kittens, puppies, birds — just ’bout any critter except humans — Jen could easily be drawn into being a floofdant via a question like, ‘How are you animals doing?'”
2. An animal who insists on doing things the same way every time, not moving until the matter is corrected.
In Use: “Queen Precious was a floofdant who demanded her food bowl be positioned just so, along with her bed, insisting that everyone go to the bed at the same time every night, becoming annoyed and vocal if this wasn’t observed.”
Sunday’s Wandering Thoughts
I was skateboarding the net yesterday, swerving from click to click. An ad bounced up for an Ashlandia coffee shop I used to regularly frequently. It permanenly closed due to the pandemic, Jan 2021.
My backstory is that I enjoy coffee shops as a place to write. I began doing that when I started working from home and began writing short stories in parallel. I use the process of going to the coffee shop as a method to put on my writing hat and throw off the rest of the world. Finding the right place is a challenge. There’s the taste. Location. Prices. Staff. Decent writing surface and a place to plug in. Wifi is a nice convenience to add.
The coffee’s shop closure during the pandemic was the abridged edition. Located in a hotel, a husband and wife team managed it on behalf of her father. He owned the hotel He came in one December day and told them that plans were changing. They protested. The exchange grew angry and loud. The husband and wife were fired.
I’d been loyal to them. The staff walked out with the managers in protest. Long-time customers like me left and didn’t return. They made changes. I visited once a few months later. It wasn’t the same. Management declared after that that only hotel guests were welcome. That was only in the morning.
Replacing it had been difficult. An ad to come patron it surprised me. I checked online: permanently closed, according to its FB page and website.
But businesses are often shoddy about keeping their social presence online up to date. I drove by. Dark. Empty. Closed.
I went on to my new favorite coffee shop. I’ve already lost four Ashlandia coffee shops in the nineteen years I’ve lived here. Hope I don’t lose a fifth. Yes, it’s all about me.
Still, I had to ponder the business intricacies that had an ad for a closed business riding on the net. Sometimes, it’s still garbage in, garbage out.
Thwumpday’s Theme Music
Mood: Melloffee
The choppers continued back and forth, up and down. Thwump thwump thwump thwump. We can hear them in the house, windows closed and all. Outside, they’re much louder. This is day four of their presence.
This is Sunday, April 21, 2024. Or with those choppers going in Sunday’s calm blue silence, Thwumpday.
The helicopters seem to start at 8 AM and go until later afternoon. They’re out there as part of the project to clean up the watershed mountainsides to make the area less attractive to fire. So yes, they are a good thing.
They’re driving my wife a little crazy, she claims. Always there, rising and falling in volume as they thwump about.
I don’t mind them. Reminds me of being on military bases. Makes me a little nostalgic.
Beyond the choppers, blue is the predominate impression with my outward gaze through the glass. Clouds are resting on the horizon but over me is sunshine and blue skies. It’s 48 F at the moment. Some rain is predicted. The high will be about 66 F, a drop from our recent forays into the seventies.
The floof boys don’t seem to mind the choppers. Seem to have adjusted to them. They don’t fly directly overhead. The first days had Papi suspicious. He’d go out there and look and look, as if he worried that they were coming for him. He has a mysterious past, you know. Who knows what mischief he did in his youth.
On to the theme music. As I perused the weather this AM, I mildly complained to myself about the lower high. We’d just been in the seventies. Now —
Want something from the seventies? The Neurons asked.
I was blank and confused. Before I could summon a response, they were playing “Whatch See Is Whatcha Get” by The Dramatics in the morning mental music stream (Trademark trending). The song was released in 1971. I always enjoyed it. It made a comeback in my mind when the personal computer age burst upon is. “What You See Is What You Get” — WYSIWYG — was a big thing with software. The Neurons would play The Dramatics song whenever I saw that on the software box or in a glossy magazine ad.
Stay positive, dress appropriately, be strong, and Vote Blue in 2024. Coffee is being choppered in. I hear it coming. Thwump thwump.
Here’s the music. Cheers
Floofthing
Floofthing (floofinition) – 1. Unexplained behavior and noises manifested by animals. First noted use in the early nineteenth century in the United States and North America.
In Use: “One of the most commonly witnessed floofthings is cats chattering (also frequently mentioned as chirping or twittering) when they see insects, birds, or rodents.”
2. Entertainment, bedding, spaces, feeding and medical devices, etc., set aside for animals’ use. First recorded use in the late twentieth century.
In Use: “Catios are trending upward as a floofthing, with homes adding catios as a place where their beloved floofurevers can safely go to outside enclosure and enjoy sunshine and fresh air.”
3. Assembly or court used in Floofmanic lands during the Middle Ages. Also known as a floofmoot in some regions, or a floofsembly. Used to peacefully settled disagreements and try floofs for breaking common laws. Origins: Floomania in the 800s, early Flooxon.
In Use: “Claw carvings found on ancient trees tell of Floofitus calling for ‘repfloofentation of all wyld floofs’ to join together to reduce mindless floofwar.”
Afloofaphobia
Afloofaphobia (floofinition) – A fear of running out of animals to love and enjoy. Origins: 2023 world wide web.
In Use: “Stricken with a mild case of afloofaphobia, Christian had an old dog, a young puppy, a parrot, and two middle-aged cats to keep him company. It was a crowded room when he sat down to write his novel every day.”
Floof-adjacent
Floof-adjacent (floofinition) – Compliment among floofs that someone or something is almost as good as an animal. Origins: Early nineteenth century United States, esp. New England.
In Use: “The cats declared of their person, Jill, ‘The way she respects our needs, honors our rights, and keeps us well-groomed and fed, she’s as floof-adjacent as we can find among humans, so I say we keep her.'”
Recent Use: “The big ol’ house dog, Charleston, told the new foster kittens, ‘Look here, Richard is about as floof-adjacent as you’ll find. Once you have more knowlege about the people world, you’ll come to realize how fortunate you are.'”
Wednesday’s Wandering Thoughts
I don’t know about other generations, but my fellow Boomers and I are frugal. At least the ones in my acquaintance are.*
We get a tube of something, we cut it open to get the last of it. I thought it was something only my wife and I do. But, oh, no. Friends and family all spoke up. Tubes, squeeze bottles, whatever, they all do their utmost to get the very last drop.
It’s odd and funny. Many will put themselves through ridiculous measures and extended time to reach that tantalizing last measure. I shouldn’t be surprise that it turns out to be so prevalent. After all, there are a remarkable spectrum of devices out there sold just to help, and tricks and tips on blogs, websites, and magazines.
We were doing this way before any economic recessions or the C-19 pandemic. My wife and I originally did this because we were in the military. Back then, in the 1970s and 1980s, they didn’t pay well. Everything had to be stretched.
Now, it’s just conditioning.
*Yes, I have read articles about the other generations and their spending habits. Gen Z is now cited as the most frugal. They’re young. We’ll see.
Michael Seidel, writer 