Category: humor

Floofymoon

Floofymoon (floofinition) – 1. A lunar event that seems to make animals more energetic or active.Origins: Internet, early 2000s.

In Use: “Bristol couldn’t see the moon because of clouds (and he never looked up at the moon anyway, and privately wondered why that was), but he figured whateverI it was, it was a floofymoon, because the three rescue floofs (they’d chosen him) were rebellious and rambunctious in everyway imaginable, knocking things off the desk, kitchen counter, bedroom dresser, and bathroom counter! It was a night of madness and then they slept like angels.”

2. Short time when all animals or people and animals are getting along well.

In Use: “Most of the time, Bats and Snacks went at it like Steelers playing the Browns, so there was mega levels of barking, hissing, growling, and running 1440 minutes a day, but once in a while, a floofymoon gently landed, and the dog and cat groomed each other and napped together.”

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Doorfloof

Doorfloof (floofinition) – Animal who likes to be at a door but doesn’t want to go through the door. Origins: circa 2000 BCE.

In Use: “A classic doorfloof, Tommy wanted the door opened, but then sat down in the open doorway so that he was half in and half out, and just watched the world and snoozed.”

In Use: “After moving into her house, Julie discovered a squirrel at her front door. The little doorfloof was present every morning at about ten AM through spring, summer, and autumn’s early days. Accepting the situation, Julie researched squirrels’ eating habits and was soon ready with a treat for her little friend, who she named Sparkle, for the little rodent’s bright eyes.”

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Floofyism

Floofyism (floofinition) – Devotion to an animal or animal spirit. Origins: unknown.

In Use: “A familiar and common floofyism is when a person or animal (who isn’t a lion) is said to have the heart of a lion.”

In Use: “A look around Debby’s living room, and Kyle saw full-blown evidence of her floofyism in multiple paintings, photos, and statues of her beloved terrior, Captain Kirk.”

In Use: “Kyle’s floofyism was almost obfloofsive, as he wore wolf-themed tee shirts, rooted for teams like the Timberwolves, Chicago Wolves, and Wolf Pack, and chose to go to Sonoma State University so he could play football as a Seawolf.”

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Grrness

Grrness (floofinition) – Quality or depths of an animal’s anger or willingness to fight. Origins: Early 21st century Internet. Synonyms: Feistiness, spiciness

In Use: “Seeing the other cat approach, Papi’s grrness ascended. Eyes narrowing, he stood, lowered his head and tail, and unleashed a long, low growl.”

In Use: “Although only a two-legged human, Jill often exhibited a floof’s heightened grrness when writing about Trump and injustice.”

In Use: “When Walt ignored Casper’s appeals for some of Walt’s food, Caspar’s grrness punched up. Seizing half a sandwich with his mouth, he turned and darted away as Walt furiously shouted.”

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Saturday’s Wandering Thoughts

I gotta do something about

I wrote this eight years ago. I remembered it this morning as I was thinking about my life. “I gotta do something about” remains my life’s expression. Cheers

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Friday’s Wandering Thoughts

The word of the year for my wife is crazo.

Recent examples of use:

“The 2024 election results are crazo.”

“They wanted almost $12 for a dozen eggs. That’s crazo.”

“I’m going shopping early tomorrow morning. I need to go before it gets crazo.”

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Supfloofvisor

Supfloofvisor (floofinition) – Animal who oversees or takes charge of organizing or directing activities. Synonym: Supfurvisor. Origins: 1970 United States

In Use: “Border collies and corgis are two dog breeds known for being supfloofvisors, and often want to round up other animals and guard things.”

In Use: “Popsicle, aka Pop, always arrived for meal preparation, setting himself as supfloofvisor, meowing and waving a paw until he was permitted to sniff each ingredient.”

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Thursday’s Political Thoughts

Who else had Matt Gaetz would withdraw on their Trump failures bingo card?

Still holding my breath on whether the Senate will stand aside so Trump can use recess appointments for his cabinet members (despite what Alexander Hamilton wrote about it), but I do have that square on my Trump failures bingo card.

What’s on your Trump failures bingo card?

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Wednesday’s Wandering Thoughts

It’s first world blues time again.

Emails slide into my inbox. Netflix, Amazon — sorry, Prime — Hulu, et al urge me to watch shows I’ve already seen. ‘Based on my history’, they recommend shows nothing at all like the ones that I’ve watched. In fact, looking at their recommendations, they’re throwing everything against the wall to see what clings to my mind. Netflix urges, ‘We think you’ll love these” and shows me “Paul vs. Tyson”. I have never watched boxing, wrestling, or fighting anywhere, so WTF?

They’re so bogus. Little of what any of them from Apple to Amazon offer reflect my watching patterns. If they did, they’d be zeroing in on darkly comedic/quirky British, Australian, and Scandinavian shows. Encountering these weak, pathetic recommendations jars my brain. They’re pretending to be caring and involved with me and my viewing habits when they clearly lack all insights. In fact, when they do this, a deep glower spreads across my mien. They’re wasting my time and mocking my intelligence. A vow to not watch anything they offer begins to burn deep inside my brain.

Not just streaming services doing this to me but they’re the worse. Amazon recommends ‘Picks just for you’. Sounds so sweet. Like they went about picking flowers and arranging them. “Here, a bouquet pour tu.” They show me pots and pans collections. Frying pans. Kate Spade purses. Like, WTF? I’ve never shopped those on Amazon or anywhere online.

They all must have me confused with another Michael.

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