Category: humor

Sunday’s Theme Music

Mood: Sundated

We’ve crashed into another Sunday. It’s August 11, 2024. Jays are busy arguing outside. A whipperwill keeps some background song going. Distant car travel are reminders that others are out there and on the move.

60 F now, 92 F will be the high. It’s a comfy 74 in the house. Meanwhile, the air quality is in the moderate stage again, 82, but smoke discolors the blue sky mountain tableau. Thin smoky tendrils are slithering into the windows so I’ve shut ’em.

Not sure where our fire is from. Haven’t seen any recent models for wind and smoke. The Park fire still blazes away down in California, less than a hundred miles away. Started by a man rolling a car down a ravine, it’s closing on 400K acres of burned land.

Dozens of fires are burning in my state, Oregon. None are too close at this point. Fingers crossed and knock wood that that won’t change. Burning more than 459 square miles, the Durkee fire on the state’s eastern side along the Idaho border, is Oregon’s largest. Started by lightning, it ate through the hot, dry vegetation, killing cattle and wildlife and forcing evacuations. It’s 95 percent contained.

Tucker (pronounced Tuck-ah) and Papi have entered a new state of floofproachment. First, Tucker was giving chase after Papi a few times. Then, as Tucker sailed past Papi, Papi sniffed Tucker’s nethers and tapped his tail. Next, Papi was sitting at the open door. Tucker, walking by to leave, paused and leaned his had Papi’s way. Papi politely tapped Papi on the head, signalling, move on, buddy. Then the two were seen touching noses in a classic flooformational exchange. This is only what we’ve witnessed but we’ve not found any signs of more intense encounters, so we’re assuming they’re moving closer to trusting one another and maybe getting along. It’s only been almost a decade. Time is sometimes needed for these things.

The dancing theme continues for the time being. Pausing to think of songs with dance in the title and songs about dancing, a scroll of titles are unrolled. The one The Neurons seized and plugged into the morning mental music stream (Trademark tapped), “And We Danced”, a 1985 song by The Hooters. Why that dance song, oh Neurons of Mine, I politely inquired. Have some coffee and think about it, they replied. I’m still sipping the coffee and thinking. I got nothing.

Stay positive, be strong, and lean forward. Vote Blue in 2024. Here’s the music. Cheers

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Floofscient

Floofscient (floofinition) – Animals’ foreknowledge of events. Origins: Fourteenth century middle Floofish, from late flooftin.

In Use: “Patrick’s dogs were so floofscient, it freaked him out. They always knew the pizza was being delivered minutes before the doorbell rang, got up and went to greet is boyfriend minutes before he came into the house, and most weirdly, understood when the phone was about to ring, with Cassie picking it up and bringing it to him in her mouth before it made a sound.”

In Use: “Minutes before the earthquake struck, Gina’s floofscient little tortie hurried in and urgently meowed at her until Gina followed into the bathroom. Perplexed, Gina was about to leave when the tremors began and a pole crashed into the kitchen where she’d been.”

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Saturday’s Theme Music

Mood: Coffstalgic

News stories scan make me blanch. Yes, of course there are feel-good Olympic stories. News outlets thrive on those. They sell clicks and papers and increase viewership. People want to feel good about the world. They don’t want to read of a school bombed in Gaza City with nearly 100 killed. And they want to turn away from the Trumpstorm that is the 2024 GOP campaign. Weird describes their candidates and also describes some of the base, but what describes the rest?

Baby formula recalls, Venezuela, Elon Musk, X.

Here, we’re dealing with wildfires and smoke pollution. Wildfires are being fought not just all over Oregon but California, Wyoming, Washington, Idaho, Colorado…that’s just the tip.

This is Saturday, August 10, 2024. There are less than 90 days until the elections.

It’s 62 F. We’ll see our average and usual high today, 92 F. Good. The air is low moderate again, and I can see the mountains and blue skies today.

A dancing outing is planned for Lake of the Woods Resort. The air is checked. Not good. Discussions are engaged: should we still go?

Time to start a new theme week. The idea of going out dancing brought up a bunch of songs for The Neurons, so that’s this week’s theme: dancing. One of their favorites, now circulating the morning mental music stream (Trademark burning) is a 1983 fast-tempo beat by the Pointer Sisters called “Neutron Dance”. Point of order for The Neurons: this is not “Neuron Dance”. Yes, that is how they hear the lyrics, but that doesn’t change the truth.

Though coming out of the techno 1980s, it’s a song for the current era. Themes like homelessness — “The rent is due, I got no place to stay.” Weariness: “It’s hard to say just how some things never change and it’s hard to find any strength to draw the line.”

don’t wanna take it anymore
I’ll just stay here locked behind the door
Just no time to stop and get away
‘Cause I work so hard to make it every day

[Refrain]
Whoo-ooh
Whoo-ooh

[Verse 2]
There’s no money falling from the sky
‘Cause a man took my heart and robbed me blind
Someone stole my brand new Chevrolet
And the rent is due, I got no place to stay

[Refrain]
Whoo-ooh
Whoo-ooh

[Chorus]
And it’s hard to say
Just how some things never change
And it’s hard to find
Any strength to draw the line
Oh, I’m just burnin’ doin’ the neutron dance
I’m just burnin’ doin’ the neutron dance

[Verse 3]
Industry don’t pay a price that’s fair
All the common people breathing filthy air (Lord have mercy)
Roof caved in on all the simple dreams
And to get ahead your heart starts pumping schemes

[Chorus]
And it’s hard to say
Just how some things never change
And it’s hard to find
Any strength to draw the line
Oh, I’m just burnin’ doin’ the neutron dance (Ah, ah, ah)
I’m just burnin’ doin’ the neutron dance

[Refrain]
Whoo-ooh
(Whoo-ooh)
I’m on fire, yeah
I’m on fire, yeah

[Chorus]
And it’s hard to say
Just how some things never change
And it’s hard to find
Any strength to draw the line
Oh, I’m just burnin’ doin’ the neutron dance (Ah, ah, ah)
I’m just burnin’ doin’ the neutron dance

Let’s all sing it and dance. h/t to Genius.com for the lyrics. Easier to copy than typing them all out.

Stay positive — I now, I’m one to speak — be strong, lean forward, and Vote Blue. Coffee and I have met up on a drink day. Here’s the video. Cheers

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Befloofle

Befloofle (floofinition) – To be stupefied or confused by an animal’s actions, behavior, or sounds. Origins: 1801, in general usage, United States and Europe.

In Use: “Suzanne frequently finds herself befloofled and terrified by her dog’s sudden barking at night as if someone had broken into their house.”

In Use: “Batcat often befloofles Bob as she unexpectedly leaps from the top of one door six feet through the air to the top of another door.”

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Asking For A Friend

OK, Trump in Fox interview.  “This is a ticket that would want this country to go communist immediately, if not sooner.”  Can anyone tell me what is “sooner” than immediately?

Yep, that MAGAt is a deeep thinker.

6

Wednesday’s Theme Music

Mood: Coffeefried

We’re in the middle of the week — Wednesday — and on August’s 7th day in 2024.

Ashlandia’s air is clear this morning — praise be! That makes the cats happy. They were already pleased to sign the flooftition endorsing Gov. Walz to be Vice President of the United States, and are purring over the idea of a Kamala Harris administration.

Yesterday, we saw the temperatures go from 93 F in the late afternoon to 58 this morning. We’re in the mid sixties now under spot free blue skies, and we’ll be churning up to 97 F.

I’m still on the freedom theme. The Neurons have popped Richie Havens playing “Freedom” at Woodstock in 1969 into the morning mental music stream (Trademark still free). I heard this when I was thirteen and the intensity made me pause and listen more closely. And afterward, there’s a release, just a *whew* and a half minute of thoughtful silence about what was heard. The song still strikes me that way today.

I’d like to let freedom roll over us like a good long blast of fresh cold mountain air.

Stay positive and be strong. Lean forward and Vote Blue in 2024. Coffee has been brewed up. Here’s the video. Cheers

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Tidbits

The Next Summer Games

My wife and her friends were talking about the Olympics and the new events that were added. She said, “We’ll probably see pickle ball at the Olympics in four years.”

Laughter rang out. Then one wag added, “And all athletes will be over sixty.”

The Squirrel

My wife and I are driving down the road, a little over the 25 MPH limit. My wife yells, “Watch out for the squirrel.”

“I see it.” The squirrel, like most of them that I see, has darted halfway across the road. After a pause, they took a few more hops toward the road’s other side. Now they’re paused in our lane. It’s still far down the road. There’s plenty of time for the squirrel to get out of the way. I’m reading to toot the horn and brake. “Don’t worry, it’ll be alright.”

“No, it’s a crazy squirrel or it has a death wish. It doubles back.” My wife is intensely leaning forward. “I see it all the time.”

I’d never seen it before, that I know. “How do you know it’s the same squirrel? It cou — “

“It’s the same squirrel, I know it.” She hammers the windshield. “Get out of the road, you crazy squirrel. Move faster. Don’t come back.”

The squirrel clears the road and disappears into bushes on the other side of the sidewalk. “There, they’re gone,” I say.

“You never know.” My wife sits back. “It’s a crazy squirrel. Sometimes I think it wants to get run over. Well, it’s not going to be me.”

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Floofmenco

Floofmenco (floofinition) – A dance favored by many animals to show their joy or exhilaration. Origins:

In Use: “Whenever Carolyn got the box out of treats out of the cupboard, her pups began dancing the floofmenco as they waited for her to deliver.”

In Use: “Sprinting outside, Sir Judge headed for the sprinkler waiting the lawn, and then did the floofmenco as the water sprayed him.”

In Use: “After a serving of catnip, Candylad did a brief but spirited floofmenco began collapsing into a deep, restful sleep.”

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Robofloof

Robofloof (floofinition) – 1. One of a number of inventions to help tend animals, especially orphaned kittens, puppies, kits, etc., by providing a realistic machine-based environment to keep them warm and safe while nursing and grooming them. Origins: 2022, Internet article, “The Coming of the Robofloofs”.

In Use: “Feeling its electronic heartbeat and nestled in against its warmth as they nursed, the puppies were quickly accepting the robofloof as a replacement mother.”

2. An animal which acts in a mechanical manner.

In Use: “Stunted at birth, the tabby kitten walked stiffly, like she was a little robofloof, earning her the name R. Daneel Oliclaw, a spin on the name of the robot detective in the Isaac Asimov novel, Caves of Steel.”

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