Category: humor

Pop-up Ads

Sara Fischer had a surprising article over on Axios.com:

People really don’t like pop-up ads, pre-roll

“What?” I asked myself. People don’t like pop-up ads and pre-rolls? Bullshit. Dismissive of this headline, I read the article.

Sara Fischer claims that Morning Consult did research, and discovered that surveys show that seventy-two percent of U.S. adults don’t like pop-up ads.

It’s more fake news, I suspect.

I don’t know anyone who dislikes pop-up ads. I love them, myself. Pop-up ads are technology’s way of saying, “Hey, relax. Take a break.” They stop me from getting too involved in stories by preventing me from immediately reading the articles, clicking on links, and searching for more information to vet the story.

Pop-up ads are a blessing, and should be embraced as such. Just think of how much more shit you could be reading and doing on the web, were it not for pop-up ads saving you.

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Furboten

Furboten (catfinition): Areas of a resident or office where cats are not permitted to enter.

In Use: “Once she cleaned the guest room, she closed the door on the cats and declared, “This room is furboten.”” They immediately began clawing and meowing to get in.

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The Door Game

The Door Game (catfinition): A feline leisure activity. The rules and scoring system seems impenetrable to the human mind. Catologists, such as Dr. Felix Lachat, have observed that the door game apparently involves getting humans to open doors to let cats in and out multiple times. It’s speculated that the more doors that cats use, and the shorter period, appears to increase the score, as do elements such as the weather, and the time, with success at night counting for more points. Households with multiple cats report that the cats seem to take turns attempting to score.

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Furling

Furling (catfinition): 1. A cat with a personality that changes without warning. Old folk saying warn, “Beware of furlings, cause they’ll bite and scratch you in a minute, and you won’t even know it’s going to happen.” 2. A cat’s ability to roll up into a tight little ball and fit into tiny locations.

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Crinkle Ears

Crinkle Ears (catfinition) The movement of a cat’s ears when it hears a bag of food, such as kibble, chips, or cereal, being opened (or moved, or put away). The movement is especially pronounced when they’re asleep.

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