Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
A mug of steaming, fresh black coffee in hand, I strode back to the table where my laptop waited. “Okay,” I said, “Let’s write, brother.”
Write brother. That cracked me up. I’m a rainbow, and one broad band is definitely goofy.
Time to write like crazy, one more time.
The Delivery Rule states that the probability that a delivery person will arrive at the beginning of the delivery window is directly proportionate to your readiness to receive them. It’s compounded by the delivery’s size and complexity. The less ready you are, the more on time, or early, they will be. If you’re in the shower or not dressed at the beginning of the window, they will be at your door.
They don’t want to be, but that’s the rule.
So, cat folks. Have you ever been busy doing something, or killing time while you’re doing something, and look up, and see a little cat head peeking around the corner, watching you? Do you find this:
a. Oh, so sweet, it’s almost precious.
b. Cute.
c. A little freaky.
d. Irritating, because you can’t get a minute to yourself.
e. All of the above?
Yeah, one of my floofs do this, like he’s a spy. The rest just barge in, and either a), rub up against my legs; b), try to get on my lap; c), sit down and watch me while meowing; or d), all of these activities.
Floofyeurism: when a cat spies on you.
Kitigate (catfinition) – to make more hospitable for kittens.
In use: “Boxes, a stuffed animal, and pillows were added to kitigate the room.”
Effloofuence (catfinition) – a substance that flows out of a cat.
In use: “Sometimes the cats shed so much, he thought of it more as a constant effloofuence, rather then individual strands falling from their bodies.”
Editing Note: “Affloofuent” and “effloofuence” are often confused for one another, but their catfinitions are significantly different.
Affloofuent (catfinition) – having an abundance of cats.
In use: “Besides being a reader, writer, and beer-drinker, and beer-drinking, he’s an affloofuent individual, with multiple cats lounging close at hand during all times and activities.”
Floofcate (catfinition) – to sooth or mollify a cat through concessions.
In use: Kevin rose from the chair. The little tabby cat jumped into the vacated space.
“There,” Kevin said. “Are you satisfied?”
The cat began washing her paw.
“I’ll just…stand,” Kevin said, staring at the cat. “I sit too much anyway.”
The things he did to floofcate his pet.
Sighing
staggering
grunting
sniffling
coughing
sneezing
wheezing
moaning
groaning
vomiting
He blew his nose, wiped tears from his eyes, and gazed out the window.
Yep, he was still a force to be reckoned with.
He was just on the wrong vector.
I was in the military for twenty plus years before moving into the corporate business world. After leaving the military, I worked at startups on the SF Bay area peninsula. Corporations swallowed the startups, and I ended up with IBM, where I stayed for fifteen years.
I preferred the military over the corporate world most of the time. Corporations paid better and demanded less work of me. The pay is a benefit, but the less work meant the jobs were less satisfying and less spiritually, emotionally, and mentally rewarding. Our sense of time in the military was much different. Now meant NOW in the military. For civilians, now was a blob of indeterminate time that can stretch from a day to a year.
Other differences were noted. Corporate employees had less sense of unity. Morale seemed worse. There was a greater sense of malaise, of “Here we go again.” Civilians had far less accountability, too. In the military, screw up, and the laser beam of ownership and explanation found you fast.
I liked the ownership and accountability, because they also quickly recognized you. The other good deal to me when I was in the military were assignment rotations. Every two to four years (it varied by rank and assignment), I moved to somewhere else. While on assignment, I could change duties and responsibilities, and even units. That kept things fresher and more interesting. Keeping it all coherent was a strong understanding of the mission. The mission didn’t change.
It wasn’t so in the civilian world, except when I left companies and joined another. My job at IBM changed three times, but I had many, many bosses in those years. IBM did a lot of restructuring and re-organizations. They started many projects (and most of them faded away). They had great ideas but poor execution. New products were often exciting, but the finished product rarely seemed to fulfill the initial promises.
That was my life with the corporation. Your results may vary, but I found that with U.S. Surgical, Tyco, and ISS, as well.
Anyway, wherever I was, I often thought of this song as I left one job and went to another. Here’s “Take This Job and Shove It,” by David Alan Coe, performed and released by Johnny Paycheck in 1977.
I can’t believe how quickly and ruthlessly modern clothing and accessories shrink. Even my leather belts are shrinking.
Really, what’s the world coming to?
