A Dream So Real

Do you ever have a dream so real that you’re certain it happened?

I had one of these last night. My eyes were extremely bloodshot in the dream. Looking at my eyes in the mirror in the dream, I thought, wow, what the hell is going on? What caused my eyes to be so bloodshot?

But when I brushed my teeth and saw my eyes this morning, they weren’t bloodshot. I was damn sure that they would be, and shocked and amused when they weren’t. I wonder from that, what other things did I dream that I was certain was real?

Cateral

Cateral (catfinition) – of, or relating to a cat’s situation, position or location.

In use: “She positioned herself on the bed cateral to where her new foster slept to avoid disturbing the tiny fur ball.”

Floofgress

Floofgress (catfinition) – a cat attack; an aggressive cat.

In use: “She thought that when he rolled on his back and presented his furry tawny belly that it was an invitation to give him a belly rub, but her motion to do it started a floofgress.”

Monday’s Theme Music

Blame today’s theme music on a cat.

I was administering a dose of hairball malt. Being of a loving, but perverse and distrustful nature, the cat fought, and the malt ended up on his paw. He tried shaking it off. I told him, “Lick it off, lick it off.”

From that moment, Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” mindjacked me. The beauty of the song is its malleability. All manner of phrases can be inserted and employed for the song’s lyrics. For instance, when you’re driving and encounter a rude driver, you can sing, “That driver is a dick, dick, dick, dick, flip him off, flip him off.”

Or you can just play with the words. “Bakers gonna bake, bake, bake, and the bandage is gonna stay, stay, stay, rip it off, rip it off.”

From my head to yours, from 2014.

Floofiebrity

Floofiebrity (catfinition) – the quality of being a feline.

In use: “The tabby’s floofiebrity inspired her to decide that being herself was best expressed not by conforming to others’ expectations, but by finding and being her own true, confident self.”

Infloofenza

Infloofenza (catfinition) –

1. like rockin’ pneumonia and the kitty-cat flu, infloofenza is a fake illness that people use as an excuse to get out of work. The origins can be traced to people deciding that it would be more fun to stay at home with their cat than to go to work.

2. A chronic condition that afflicts some people, who become sick and tired of their cats and cleaning up after them.

In use: “Her cats snuggled up to her on the cold morning, pinning her under the bed covers. Nothing short of a catectomy would free her, but the sweet little felines looked so deeply asleep and peaceful, she decided she would call in sick. Yes, she had infloofenza. Those with cats would understand.”

Floofsome

Floofsome (catfinition) – engaging and pleasing because of  feline charm and friendliness.

In use: “A floofsome expression combined with a head-tilt to the left and large amber eyes to sell her on adopting the sixteen-year-old tabby, and she never regretted the decision.”

Off-kilter

My writing world is a little off-kilter this morning. I’m again doubting that the muses and characters know what they’re doing. I suspect they’re conning me.

The muses and characters agree about what’s to be written, what’s happening, and what’s to come next. “Trust us,” they purr.

I’m jaundiced about their plans. “Seems like we’re going around in a bac.”

“A what?”

“Bac. ” I spelled it, “B.A.C. Big-ass circle.”

“Writers,” one muse mumbled to a character (Brett), who nodded back with an eye-roll. They didn’t care that I’d witnessed this, implying a disrespect that I didn’t like.

“We know what we’re doing,” another muse said, like a young mother speaking to her mother about the way she’s raising her child. “Just follow our guidance.”

“I am,” I said. “If you could let me in on a little more, I’d feel more comfortable about I’m typing.”

Several muses and characters unloosed scoffing sounds while another muse said, “We don’t want to burden you with too much.”

“I’m the writer here,” I said. “Shouldn’t I know where the story is going?”

“You do know,” one muse said.

“Yes, you know how it’s ending, don’t you?” said another muse.

Handley, a character, “Nothing personal, but we don’t want to give you too much to juggle. You already seem a little strained by the novel’s direction.”

“It’s more than a novel, it’s become a series,” I said.

“Exactly,” Handley said. “And there’s a great deal more material available that we could give you, but you seem tired of writing this.”

“Yes,” a muse said. “You’re weary of writing this, doubtful of the content, dubious of your skill and talent, and worried that you’re pulling a Wonderboys.”

I clamped my lips tight for a second before speaking. “None of that’s germane to this conversation. While that’s all true, that doesn’t change that right now, it seems like you guys are leading me in a — ”

“Big-ass circle,” a muse said. “Yes, we know.”

Realizing that I wasn’t going to win this discussion, and that the muses and characters weren’t going to tell me more until they thought I was ready for it, I finished my walk, purchased my coffee, and set up to write.

Time to write like crazy and see where the characters and muses take me. Do you know that the muses have never told me their names?

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