Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
I took a cat quiz this morning and aced it. They said my result was meow-nificent.
That, I thought, is not how that’s spelled. It’s mewnificent.
A little research, though, revealed to me that mewguists say those are regional differences, and both are correct.
Floofdar (catfinition) – a cat or dog’s ability to detect another animal’s presence that evades human awareness.
In use: “Something apparently triggered Flash’s floofdar, for awakening and rising, she trotted to the window sill and peered out. Whatever she saw prompted her to issue a low warning growl. Nan, watching and listening, said, “How did you know something was there? You were dead asleep.” She got up to see what triggered her cat’s floofdar.”
Floofquake (catfinition) – shaking caused by a house pet’s activities.
In use: “Leaning against the sliding closet doors, the big black and white cat groomed with apoplectic energy, as though disgusted that his white ruff wasn’t the whitest of whites, causing a floofquake that rattled the closet doors.”
Don’t you hate it when you put your underwear on backwards?
Thank God I discovered it when I used the coffee shop restroom.
Incatestable (catfinition) – something that can’t be disputed because the cat has decide that it is so.
In use: “The cats’ need to be present when Michael used the bathroom became incatestable as at least one feline raced into the bathroom ahead of him whenever he went in that direction. Wondering what was driving their obsessive interest, he became a master at misdirection and quiet walking. That worked for a while, but he’d forgotten that cats could read humans’ minds.”
Floofrient (catfinition) – intense, obsessive interest demonstrated by an animal, typically house pets such as cats or dogs.
In use: “Whatever the human was eating brought floofrient attention as the dog and cat hurried over to sniff at the least, but more often attempting to snatch food out of his hand or off his plate, take a bite, or give it a lick.”
I run through the checklist.
Check the Air Quality Index. We’re at unhealthy, bordering on very unhealthy. Remember, that’s an average, and it’s early. The AQI usually goes up (the air becomes unhealthy) as the temperature rises.
Checking the weather, I confirm that it’ll be in the nineties in our area, with no precipitation. (Ironically, I check Ash Station, ironic because of the fine ash that covers things after a few days.)
It’s a mask day.
I apply my SPF 50 UV A/B lotion.
Then a hat to cover my head, and sunglasses for my eyes.
I’m ready to meet the great outdoors.
Masking up is becoming the new norm, along with skin and eye protection. It’s not truly the new norm yet. We haven’t monetized the masks.
There’s potential there.
America is a consuming, personality driven nation. I can see masks being spun to political preferences – MAGA masks, blue masks, Code Pink masks – but also to styles, personalities, and trends. Advertising can be put on masks. Budweiser and Coke can issue masks in their colors, with their logos, and give them away for free, or a discount. But two litters of Coke and get a free mask!
Pick up your mask with your Domino’s Pizza.
Or, take zombies. If you’re going to wear a mask, find a way to make it look like a zombie. Prefer Star Trek or Star Wars? Show it on your mask.
Bling can be added to the straps. The masks can be manufactured and offered in different colors. Come on, support the Pittsburgh Steelers in your Black & Gold mask. State your preference for the Oregon State Beavers in orange and black, or wear a green and yellow Duck mask to support Oregon University.
Call me a cynic (or call me Ishmael), I’m so surprised that some company hasn’t jumped all over this. I’m sure it’ll happen soon. When it does, when you finally start seeing blinged masks or masks supporting your cause or your team, then you’ll know that the new norm has arrived.
Speaking of which, I better stock up before the prices jump.
Redlegagenda posted this song this morning, so I credit them with reminding me of this Weezer classic. I enjoy Weezer, catching their remake of the Toto classic, “Africa”, and I’ve posted several of their songs as my choice of theme music before. This is a first for “Hash Pipe”.
But since Weezer covered “Africa”, I went with Toto’s live cover of “Hash Pipe”. Got to admit, I like Weezer’s “Hash Pipe” better (because of the more rocking guitars and Cuomo’s high-voiced singing), but this is still fun.
Schadenfloof (catfinition) – one furry creature’s apparent pleasure at other’s troubles and misfortune.
In use: “When the dog was called out for knocking over the kitchen trash can (of which he was technically innocent), the cats oozed schadenfloof as they sat and watched.”
A classic.
