Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Lafloofchezia (floofinition) – The use of vulgar or foul language with a housepet to relieve stress or pain.
In use: “The cat was sprawled on its back on the floor, its silky belly exposed to the sun. Naturally, Cheryl thought it was safe to give the cat a tummy rub. A split second later, the cat had scratched her arm and hand, and she was sitting back, delivering lafloofchezia.”
He had no sense of direction, she noticed, but then she observed other oddities. When he entered a room, if the door was closed on his arrival, he left it open. If the light was off, he turned it on and left it on, and if it was on, he turned it off.
As she realized these things, she also saw that he was always confused about which pull to use on the up/down blinds, lowering them when he meant to raise them, exclaiming, “I don’t know why I can’t remember which one of these to use. I’m always doing this.” Of course you are, she thought without telling him. When she asked him to look right, he looked left, and when he was told to turn right, he often began turning left. Sometimes, she heard him tell something that he’d said as something that she’d said, insisting that the false memory was true.
With these traits piling up, it didn’t surprise her to realize that he always thought that lies were the truth, and that truths were lies. It was, she decided, that he lived in a mirrored world. With that observation, she understood him much better, and could use words to get her way.
And she lived happily ever after…
Purrveyor (catfinition) – a cat who will purr as soon as they see their human companion(s).
In use: “From the very beginning of her time with them, the tiny rescued tabby was a purrveyor, purring loudly as she ran to them to greet them.”
Conflooferacy (floofinition) – a league or alliance between housepets for some purpose.
In use: “Recognizing one another’s skill sets and how they could help one another, the cats and dogs established a conflooferacy. For example, a cat could jump up, hang from the door handle and turn it while a dog pushed the door open, allowing them all to escape as the bird stood lookout and called out warnings.”
Don’t knowboutchu, but I don’t look free pizza in the mouth. Mostly ‘cuz I’ve never been able to find the pizza’s mouth.
Obfloofurate (floofinition) – a housepet who is stubbornly persistent in wrongdoing.
In use: “Although he moved the doughnuts and sprayed Crystal with water to dissuade her, the little Bombay Black with golden eyes and velvet fur was an obfloofurate miscreant, constantly stealing and eating his mini powdered-sugar doughnuts.”
After a period of turbulent dreams at the end of 2018 and 2019’s start, my dreams have become amazingly affirming and uplifting. There’s not much to write about. Besides their positive aspects, they’re clear and unambiguous, except for one dream.
In this dream, I’m busy with my normal life when a voice tells me to go to Portland to buy a car. I know that they mean Portland, Oregon, two hundred eighty-six miles away. I respond, “Why?” The disembodied voice from up high explains that I can get better deals there, and then shows me five cars that it thinks I’d like. I’m amused, but check out the cars, and agree, yes, I’d like them and they’re great buys, but what about maintenance. I don’t want to do drive a long way for maintenance.
Persistence and persuasive, the voice keeps trying to convince me that I need to go to Portland to buy a car. I finally agree, mainly just to get it to leave me alone. We part amicably, with me going off to tell my wife that we’re going to Portland to buy a car.
As for the dream’s meaning, I have few clues. Something I’ll need to think about. As I think about it to type, it seems to indicate a large shift in directions, something unexpected, that pleases me.
Floofumbra (floofinition) – a housepet that shadows you from a short distance.
In use: “The little Corgi was a floofumbra, following him from space to space in the house, but stopping at the entries to watch and guard him from across the room.”
Floofathon (floofinition) – a housepet’s race around the house, usually on an erratic course, and often at bewilderingly high speeds, typically lasting for several minutes, and usually with uncertain origins or causes; something (such as an event, activity, or session) characterized by a housepet’s great concentrated effort.
In use: “In an impressive floofathon that lasted over an hour, the four cats gathered at the window and watched the noisy little sparrows at the bird feeder.”
What about the speed of love? she asked.
Raising his eyebrows, he laughed. You can’t measure love’s speed.
Why not?
Love is beyond classic physics and quantum mechanics. Love exists in a reality of its own. Time bends love, and love bends time, and if you try to understand that, you’ll bend your mind.
She said, The Rolling Stones said time is on our side.
The Rolling Stones were wrong. Time doesn’t take sides.
