Category: humor

Choices

He was recovering from his surgery. Blood, of course, kept seeping into the bandages. They told him that would happen.

The surgery’s grogginess was finally gone by the next morning, but he was surprised by how much the surgery limited him. His movements were slow and tentative. Talk about a damn anchor. He felt pain, too, dull, throbbing, and steady.

They’d given him pain killers. He read the label and all of its warnings. Taking hydrocodon ACET 5/325 might make him drowsy or dizzy. “Do not drink alcohol with this drug.”

Well, that was that. He preferred a glass of wine or a mug of beer over some pain relief. Besides, if he took the hydrocodon, he wasn’t supposed to drive. He’d been driving since he was fourteen, beginning on the back-country roads of western Pennsylvania over fifty years ago. Not drive? That was unacceptable. He kept his red Camaro convertible clean and polished. Forget all of his education and work success; driving was one of the foundations of who he was, driving, beer and wine, and rock and roll.

That was him.

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Eflooftemology

Eflooftemology (floofinition) – The study or a theory of the nature and grounds of knowledge regarding animals, especially housepets or domesticated animals, with reference to the limits and validity of the knowledge.

In use: “Animals’ innate secrecy and their desire to protect their knowledge limits eflooftemology as animals often defy established ‘facts’ about their thinking, skills, and behavior.”

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Thursday’s Theme Music

Ah, they toured the world and elsewhere…

Here’s Spinal Tap with their hit song, “Flower People” (July, 1967), from This Is Spinal Tap (1984). It’s a perfectly mellow song from the perfectly mellow past for a perfectly mellow day.

 

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Floofdrant

Floofdrant (floofinition) – A room or space divided by housepets for their use.

In use: “A floofdrant was always created along the same lines, with the older male cats taking to the easy chairs, the dogs on the sofa, and the female cat on the humans’ favorite leather recliner.”

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Afloofpriate

Afloofpriate (floofinition) – When an animal, especially a houspet, acquires something for its own use or consumption.

In use: “She planned to have a nice butter croissant with apricot preserves for breakfast but her dog was faster, afloofpriating the warm food and gobbling it up as soon as she set the plate down.”

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Floofdiferous

Floofdiferous (floofinition) – A magnificent or splendid example of an animal. [Middle Flooflish, from Medieval Floof floofdiferus, from Late Floof floofdōrifer.]

In use: “With fiery ginger flames of long fur, and large, urgent pale jade eyes, Blur was floofdiferous, a wondrous, friendly giant of a cat.”

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