Category: humor

Sunday’s Theme Music

Had to give my cat his L-Lysine last night. Like many receiving treatments for something, he dislikes it. The better he feels, the more he dislikes it, and the more aggressively he resists.

Not alone in this, of course. Mary Poppins taught us that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Likewise, many of us treat the situation with a carrot and stick approach – take this medicine, and I’ll reward you.

Talking helps, too. So, I was speaking with T.C., telling him that I know that it tastes bad, but this is medicine that he needs, and I’m only doing it because it makes him feel better, and I want him to feel better because I love him. That all got shortened to, yes, it’s bad medicine, but it’s given with love.

From there, it was an easy switch to Bon Jovi’s 1988 offering, “Bad Medicine”, with T.C. imagined as singing to me.

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Thunderfloof

Thunderfloof (floofinition) – Animal who makes a lot of noise when it runs.

Note: Not to be confused with floofthunder (the rumble of many animals running).

In use: “Pound for pound, the little tuxedo cat was a thunderfloof, making more noise running through the halls than any of the dogs did.”

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Nofloofobia

Nofloofobia (floofinition) – The fear that there won’t be any animals.

In use: “Suffering from nofloofobia, she, aided by her husband and children, constantly saved animals, averaging an animal a week, ignoring their species, or the costs, attending to their needs and injuries, trying to keep the Earth populated with animals.”

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Flooftical

Flooftical (floofinition) – Of or relating to addressing and coping with animals.

In use: “On the flooftical front, he learned to make himself small and quiet, to hold his hand out to be smelled, and to let the animal come to him on their terms.”

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Floofscue

Floofscue (floofinition) – 1. Mistake or slip by an animal, particularly a houspet. 2. An animal rescue. 3. The signal for an animal to do something.

In use: “Someone’s quiet footfall coming up the walk toward the front door was a floofscue for flooflam as the dogs broke out barking, the birds began talking and squawking, and the cats narrowed eyes to stare down intruders or took flight for hiding places.”

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Flooftropolis

Flooftropolis (floofinition) – 1. Any city with a large animal population. 2. (slang) Expression used to denote any place with a large animal population.

In use: “All the neighborhood cats came around to hang out in Lori’s yard, which was funny, because she had a parrot and two dogs, but no cat. Neighbors began referring to it as flooftropolis.”

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Floofabout

Floofabout (floofinition) – Unskilled housepet.

In use: “Mice, birds, and spiders were completely safe in Samantha’s house and yard, as her cats were floofabouts, inclined to loafing in the sunshine with sleepy eyes.”

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Unknown

She stared at the letter. It was addressed to Mrs. She’d always been a Ms.

They used her first name, Barbara, but she’d her middle name, Sue, since she was three years old. (Funny story, there, but for another time.)

They did have the correct middle initial and last name, so it was fifty percent correct.

Shrugging, she tossed it unopened into the recycle. Whoever it was clearly didn’t know her.

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