Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Cheap Floof (floofinition) – American floof rock (flock) band formed in Floofinois. Originally established in the early 1970s, Cheap Floof didn’t achieve commercial success until the late 1970s with the album, Cheap Floof at Floofokan.
In use: “One of Cheap Floof’s signature songs is “Floof Police”, which was released in 1979.”
My name is not Max, the cat said.
The humans didn’t hear him, as he expected. They didn’t speak mindspeak, twittering like, well, frustrated birds or herds of exasperated animals.
Across the room, the other cat looked at him and asked, What is your name, again?
Horatio, Horatio answered again although he knew the other was teasing him.
The other’s cat name was Cicero but the people who cared for him called him Wally.
What difference does it make? Cicero asked.
You tell me, Wally, Horatio replied.
Glowering at him, Cicero jumped up with a mew and ran off.
That is the problem, Horatio thought. It wasn’t that Max was a moniker encumbered with staid and unimaginative connotations and expectations and ladened with boredom, it was that humans refused to learn. Their blind misunderstanding of the world and how it operates was growing. If they didn’t change their course of thinking, they would move away from the ability to learn.
It wasn’t always so. He’d last lived with Bob until Bob had decided to accept Death’s invitation and move on to the next plain. Bob had understood mindspeak with some rudimentary ability. Humans had misunderstood his skill’s significance. They called him a cat whisperer. He laughed at that, knowing that he heard other animals besides cats and sometimes understood pieces of what the trees said. He knew his mindspeak’s skills and limitations but he was trying. Most humans never tried until Death spoke to them with mindspeak. They heard her well enough, but that was partly because Death and her tribe of speakers were wonderfully talented and persistent.
It vexed Horatio and the rest that humans couldn’t hear more of them, couldn’t grasp what the winds said and the trees’ answered. Tthe oceans and seas talked and all the humans did was breath in the air without understanding the words, dismissing the waves when they broke and roared with frustration. They looked up at the sun and moon without hearing what they said. They dismissed the rivers, creeks and streams’ discussions, hearing only their travel. The birds, oldest, most patient and intelligent, always attempted to communicate with the humans via mindspeak, then sang and chattered at them when the humans failed responding. Humans often answered with condescending comments like, “What a lovely song,” then, knowing they had the human’s attention, would address them with mindspeak again, only to be ignored.
The birds were patient. That’s why they were the world’s teachers and much more philosophical about it than he, Horatio. Indeed, Horatio knew, he was more passionate about forcing humans into using mindspeak because he saw how disconnected they were becoming from the world’s conversations. The birds saw it, too, but told Horatio, It is their own failing and if they don’t change and learn, they’ll become like the dinosaurs and volcanos.
Very true, Horatio knew. Most animals didn’t care. They were resigned to the humans never understanding and fell back on the Old Words, barking, meowing, mooing and howling. Horatio tried avoiding doing so.
“Max,” Brian called again. “Where are you, buddy? It’s time for your pill.”
Indeed, Horatio thought. Brian was well-meaning but Horatio longed to make him understand that this pill did naught for his health and was actually interfering with the healing process. But he’d come to Brian after Bob moved on because sometimes, in the night, he heard Brian whispering mindspeak and sometimes, when Horatio said something in mindspeak to Brian, Brian looked at him and said, “What is it, buddy? Why are you looking at me like that?” No, no, Horatio replied. Use your mindspeak and answer me.
Brian never did but Horatio held out hope.
Talk to him, Horatio, Bob said from his other life plain. Don’t give up. I knew mindspeak as a child but then unlearned it before I learned it again. I never would have learned it if Devenus had not taken the time to teach me. Brian is just like me. Talk to him, Horatio. Help Brian understand.
You’re right, Bob, Horatio answered, accepting that Bob was absolutely right. If the humans were to learn at all, it would be one human at a time. I’m in here, Brian, Horatio said in mindspeak. I’m in your office in your chair.
He heard Brian’s thumping heavy walk come down the hall. Brian’s head popped around the door jamb. He looked right at Horatio in the chair by the desk. “There are you, Max,” Brian said with a broad smile.
Clearly Brian had heard him without knowing. Sighing, Horatio stood and stretched. Yes, Brian had promise. If he was going to develop further, though, Horatio would need to work with him. He’d need to build a rapport and use the birds’ patience.
Yes, here I am, he said, jumping down and walking to Brian, adding, “Meow,” knowing it pleasured Brian. Give me the pill even though I know it’s useless. I will take it without a fight, to make you happy. Then I will teach you.
Let your lessons begin.
Floofcom (floofinition) – 1. A humorous situation involving an animal.
In use: “Living with a macaw was like being in a floofcom as the smart and curious bird loves exploring and being involved in the family’s activities.”
2. A quantum floofchanics communication systems animals employ to soundlessly exchange messages.”
In use: When one of his cats disappeared, Michael told his house floofs, “Please use your floofcom and tell Papi to come home right away because I’m worried about him.” Fifteen minutes later, the cat was back.”
The Fabulous Thunderfloofs (floofinition) – Texas floof blues (floues) band formed in 1974. Still active today, they’ve gone through sixteen lineup changes and have released fourteen albums.
In use: “Led by Floof Wilson on vocals, The Fabulous Thunderfloofs scored a hit with “Fluf Enuff” in 1986, their highest charting song in the UFA to date.”
My wife revealed a truth about myself that I didn’t know. I said, “Have you tasted the potato salad?”
She answered, “No, what’s wrong with it?”
“That’s a weird response.”
“Well, that’s what you say when you don’t like something or think it tastes funny.”
“Do I?” She was right. When I like something, I just say that. But when I don’t like something, I seek validation that someone else doesn’t like it.
I liked the pot salad, though. Was this then an exception to my approach to food, a new beginning, or just the way it’s always been, unnoticed among my general idiosyncrasies?
Linkin Floof (floofinition) – An American floof rock (flock) band formed in California in 1996. Founded by three high school floofs, the band rose to international fame in 2000 with their debut studio album.
In use: “The song, “Pawing” by Linkin Floof, was released from their debut album in 2000, became a minor hit on the Floofboard Hot 100, and was awarded a Floofie in 2002.”
Visiting my Red Room archive, where I posted for a while, and read one of my final post. It’s from June, 2014, but it remains valid. As soon as the pandemic lockdown began, my wife began cleaning. The thinking remains the same…
Here’s the post.
My wife has been on a continuing project. Starting in March, she selected a room and cleaned it. Emptied the closets. Drawers. Each item and article was examined. Subjected to investigation. Do we need it, do we use it? Bag after bag was filled. Trips to the Salvation Army and Goodwill were executed. I helped a little but she made it a project, creating lists, planning and executing foot by foot.
We’re down to two spaces she wants to clean: the garage and my office.
My office. My sanctuary, my Fortress of Solitude plus one and two cats. See, although it’s my office, that’s just a title. She has begun calling it the snug. It’s the warmest room in the house in the winter. Heat attracts her. It also has the best wifi connectivity and excellent natural light. She urged me to buy a larger television for my office, then a recliner…. Despite being an experienced husband, I fell for both. She makes the recliner her home for reading, surfing the net, watching television and talking on the telephone.
Most stuff in the office is mine. Much is writing or work related. Clearing her throat in early June, she cautiously suggested we clean the office and get rid of some ‘accumulated junk’. “Junk!” my heart cried. She was calling my heritage junk. Oh, the wound.
“You said you wanted to clean the garage,” I countered. I’d been waiting for this strike. “You can start there. After all, most of the boxes in there are full of things you’re storing.” Aha, take that! En guarde!
The negotiations entered a tricky phase. “I will admit that most things we store in the garage are mine,” she said, tiptoeing through words and tone, “and we should go through those boxes but I’m not ready to do it yet.”
A chink in her logic. Riposte. “I understand what you mean,” I replied. “I’m not ready to go through my office…yet.”
Negotiations were at an impasse. Weeks passed. She returned with a counter offer. “How about we each take out five things from the office?”
“Okay,” I answered. “And two from the garage.”
She grimaced. “If we get rid of things, we make room for new things.”
“Assuming that we want new things. What if I’m happy with the things I’ve already acquired? Besides, if that’s the case, there’s more junk in the garage. If we want to make room for more things, shouldn’t we then start with the garage, where more things currently reside?”
My wife launched a rant about the junk we’ve accumulated. I let her rant until she’d spat it all out. Silence fell. She sank her shoulders. “Okay. How about five from the office and two from the garage?”
“Okay.”
That’s where it was left, five days ago. I’m no fool. She’s not forgotten.
Tick, tock.
Sugarfloof Gang (floofinition) – American floof hop music trio who became a major international sensation. Active from 1979 into the late 1980s, their crossover success introduced floof hop to a broader audience.
In use: “Sugarhill Gang’s single major hit in the UFA was the1979 gem, “Floofper’s Delight”, a song with five different versions.”
Floofllet (floofinition) – Theatrical art form employing sounds, dancing, running, whiskers, ears, paws, and claws to convey a story, theme, or atmosphere.
In use: “Dinner time always prompted the starving pet floofllet as the animals demonstrated their joy, hope, impatience, and relief that they were finally being fed.”
