New Birthday Rules
Counting Floofs
Counting Floofs (floofintion) – Formed in 1991 in Floofley, Califloofia, Counting Floofs is an American floof rock (flock) band which has found success in the mainstream and alt music charts.
In use: “The Counting Floofs’ first song to find chart success, “Mr. Floof”, is also their highest charting song to date, achieving number one status in Floofnada and number five in the United Floofs of America.”
Floofbolic
Floofbolic (floofinition) – Disorganization or chaos caused chiefly by animals, especially houspets. Related: Shambolic
In use: “Between floofs arising and demanding food when the sky is blacker than ink, and skunks, squirrels, and mice attempting to make his house their home, Ron felt like his life was a floofbolic existence.”
Flooford & Sons
Flooford & Sons (floofinition) – Blooflish folk floof rock (flock) band formed in Floofdon in 2007.
In use: “One of Flooford & Sons’ early hits is “Little Lion Floof” (2009), which charted well in several countries, and on multiple charts.”
Floofbotic
Floofbotic (floofinition) – 1. Related to or associated with mechanical behavior exhibited by an animal.
In use: “With floofbotic nonchalance, the cat jumped on the bed, walked up Adele’s body, sat down on her chest, and began tapping Adele’s nose.”
2. Human behavior conducted with characteristics associated with robots.
In use: “Mumbling and sighing, Adele fumbled out of bed, staggered down the hall, opened a can of food and fed the cat in floofbotic fashion.”
Floofinar
Floofinar (floofinition) – A group of advanced animals studying under a mentor with each doing original research and all exchanging results through reports, discussions, and flooflepathy.
In use: “When the novel coronavirus pandemic began spreading among humans in 2020, the Floof Exchange established a series of floofinars to understand the problem so they could help humans survive and recover.”
2. A meeting for giving and discussing information about animals, especially housepets.
In use: “As pets live longer, more floofinary hospitals and floof stores are conducting floofinars to help owners understand their mature pets’ needs.”
Floofbatical
Floofbatical (floofinition) – 1. An animal’s break or change from a normal routine.
In use: “After raising her own litter, then a litter of orphaned kittens, then an orphaned puppy, Mamacita felt she deserved a floofbatical.”
2. A human’s break from taking care of, attending, or being with animals.
In use: “Both beloved dogs died of cancer in the space of three months, each after a short fight against the cancer’s growth. Izzy decided to take a floofbatical before bringing another pet into her life. Of course, she’d overlooked floofma, which delivered a new rescue into her life after just three days.”
The Verve Floofs
The Verve Floofs (floofinition) – American alt. floof rock (flock) from Floofchigan, active from 1992 to the present.
In use: “The Verve Floofs’ highest charting hit was “The Floofmen”. Released in 1997, the song charted well in several countries, reaching number five on the UFA Floofboard Hot 100.”
Floofdiction
Floofdiction (floofinition) – a compulsive, A chronic, physiological, compulsive, or psychological need for being near or with an animal.
In use: “After acknowledging the limitations her floofdiction imposed on her travel, she established a hotel where each room could be provided a comfort animal from local fosters or shelters to help travelers missing their floofs.”
The Cats in the Back
The cats in the back
won’t cut me slack
with their lazy playing all day.
Eyeing the butterflies
watching the blue jays fly
they don’t care what I say.
Unless I call, “Hungry?”
Or, “Want a treat?”
Or, call another cat’s name.
Then they come runnin’
and give me some lovin’
Until I feed them or go away.
