Floofson
Floofson (floofinition) – Male offspring of an animal.
In use: “Marty’s floofsons were perfect little replicas of him, black with white whiskers, a white diamond on their chests, and a long narrow tail.”
Saturday’s Theme Music
Powerful sunshine kicked in the day. I blinked against the golden warmth. “Sol. What time is it?”
“Time to raise your derriere from the dead.”
“Seriously, time.”
“Time to rise and — “
“Sol, it’s too early.”
“6:32 AM.” Sol sat, flipping rays back from his face. “It’s also Saturday, August 28, 2021, if that matters to you, the last Saturday in August.” Sol sighed. “September is next week, you know. Soon, I’ll be a wintry sun, mourning the cold land from a sad distance.”
“Not everywhere. Just up in the northern climes.”
“True.” Sol sniffed. “An advantage of being omnipresent. I’m always somewhere. Got any coffee?”
“I’ll make some.”
My slumber ended, I peed first, then shuffled into the kitchen. Cats greeted me, falling into step. The necessary feeding detour was executed. “How long are you here today, Sol?” I asked the sun as he joined me in the kitchen.
“Until 7:52 in the evening, thereabouts.” Sol perched himself on the counter. “And I’m in a hot mood. Think it’ll be ninety-five to a hundred today.”
“Ouch.”
Sol watched the coffee making. “Make it strong. I like it strong.”
“Of course.”
“I am the sun, you know.”
“Right, right, got that.”
Sol and I began channeling David Bowie music, falling back into some of his early seventies stuff as coffee brewed, basically working through a compilation album with “Diamond Dogs”, “Rebel, Rebel”, “Space Oddity”, “Changes”, and “Suffragette City”. By the time we finished our first cuppa, we were belting out “The Jean Genie”. Sol and I agreed that should be today’s theme music.
As Sol told me, stay positive — “Like me, I’m always sunny, hah!” — test negative, wear a mask as needed, and get the vax. Here’s the music. Cheers
Floofpetitive
Floofpetitive (floofinition) – 1. Action or activity persistently completed for an animal, especially a pet.
In use: “His floofpetitive routine began every morning with fresh water — two bowls — followed by the feeding of the three feline princes, and then the daily morning love session (each demanded private personal time to be petted and doted upon), and the litter box cleaning. The routine was done again in the evening.”
2. An activity or motion repeated many times by an animal.
In use: “Whenever Pam sat down, her cat jumped up on her lap and commenced floofpetitive grooming of her face and hair, often employing her paws to hold Pam’s head still.”
Exflooftrate
Exflooftrate (floofinition) – 1. To remove oneself from an animal with stealth.
In use: “Many people fall asleep and awaken to find a favorite pet asleep with them, looking as sweet as fresh cinnamon rolls, forcing them to exflooftrate themselves so as not to disturb their slumbering fur friend.”
2. To covertly or surreptitiously move an animal, preferably without disturbing them.
In use: “The sick dog was asleep on the floor. She exflooftrated her canine friend to the bed, where a heating pad would help warm his tired, old body.”
Sternflooftation
Sternflooftation (floofinition) – 1. Act of talking firmly or verbally disciplining an animal, especially a pet.
In use: “Despite Becky’s daily sternflooftation before she left for work, the cat and dog always got in trouble while she was away, creating mayhem in a bathroom, bedroom, or living room.”
2. An especially solemn or serious display by an animal.
In use: “After she pretended to throw the toy for the kittens, the three tabbies sat down in coordinated sternflooftation to stare at her.”
Floofdumb
Floofdumb (floofinition) – 1. A person who is ignorant about animals and their needs and behaviors.
In use: “His major requirement for a new relationship (well, honestly, one of many major requirements) was a person who wasn’t floofdumb. Whoever he was with had to love animals as much as him. Yeah, that was a dealbreaker, he decided.”
2. Conduct, action, behavior or sound that leaves people speechless or amazed.
In use: “The cat darted pass and leaped into the air so high that witnesses were left floofdumb.”
