Flooftortion
Flooftortion (floofinition) – The skill of bending and twisting one’s limbs body into strange and unnatural positions to accommodate actions or functions associated with an animal.
In use: “Once he opened a can, the floofs were right there, waiting to be fed, underfoot, forcing him into flooftortions to avoid stepping on them or tripping over them as their meal was delivered.”
Floofarm
Floofarm (floofinition) – Medical condition where an arm becomes stiff, sore, or numb because of the unwillingness to move it because of an animal. Related: Floorleg, flooffoot, floofbutt
In use: “Despite a serious case of floofarm setting in (and getting ravenous and having a bladder screaming for sweet release), Rikki refused to move because she didn’t want to disturb the puppy napping in her arms.”
If I
If I had to drink some wine
You know I think I could find the time
And if you want to make me dance
I would probably be willing to take that chance
If I had to work today
I’d ask if maybe there’s not another way
And if I were asked to write a song
You know it wouldn’t last too long
If you told me I need to find joy
I’d laugh and sing, oh boy, oh boy
But if you tried to start a war
I’d walk away
Because war’s a bore
Unemfloofed
Unemfloofed (floofinition) – A place absent of animals.
In use: “As humane treatment of and respect for animals and their rights rise, there are fewer unemfloofed homes around the world, a victory for both animals seeking safety and security, and people who enjoy animals’ company and beauty.” – from The Floof Street Journal, August 17, 2014, “What Do the New Unemfloofment Numbers Mean?”
Michael Seidel, writer 