UFLO
UFLO (floofinition) – Expression which means ‘Unsuspecting Floof Owner’. Used to describe a person who doesn’t know what their animal is up to, it’s often associated with pets having secret lives.
In use: “While they went about their daily business, the UFLO didn’t know that their cat, Johnny, was known as a friendly feline named Ghost who visited a neighbor two blocks away, napping on the bed, and enjoying the food put out for their own pets.”
Thursday’s Wandering Thought
He picked through the shirts hanging in his closet, looking for one which suited the weather and his plans, and finally selected one. Didn’t look great on him, and not real happy about the pattern, either. He didn’t even understand why he bought it. Oh, well.
He went into the other room. His wife walked by and touched his shoulder. “That shirt always looks so good on you.”
Ah. Puzzle solved.
FOLS
FOLS (floofinition) – Internet slang for ‘Floof on lap syndrome’, when having an animal on one’s lap prevents or discourages people from doing other activities.
In use: “His phone rang, but it was across the room, and he was FOLS, with his new puppy sacked out on his lap, so he just let it go to voice mail.”
Wednesday’s Wandering Thought
He checked ‘The Decider’ website to see what they recommended to watch on Prime. The Decider’s first recommendation was for a show on Hulu. Their second recommendation was for the old movie, Top Gun.
He decided The Decider was a waste of time.
Monday’s Wandering Thought
At 11:45 PM, the cats demand they be let out of the house. The light is turned on and the landscape is scanned for threats. Deer are okay but they’re not out there. No bears, cougars, other cats, foxes, raccoons, or skunks are seen, but a lone opossum wanders along the back patio. Sorry, kitties, we’re going to keep you in a bit and give the opossum time to move on.
Flooffective
Flooffective (floofinition) – Arising from or relating to animals and their influence on emotions or feelings.
In use: “His cats and dogs were his constant companions when he was home, underfoot while cooking and cleaning, assisting him on the laptop, watching television and reading with him, installing a floofective pattern to his planning.”
Michael Seidel, writer 