Category: humor

Sunday’s Wandering Thought

He was at a coffee shop yesterday. Three women came in and rearranged a section of furniture. They didn’t put it back when they left. He wondered, though, is it their job to put it back?

Of course not. But it seemed like it’d be courteous to the staff and other patrons. It’s what he would do. But is there a ‘right and wrong’ in this?

Not really. It’s furniture in a coffee shop. It’s there for people’s use and comfort, right? Sure. It just annoys him when people don’t put things back, whether it’s shopping carts or tables and chairs in a coffee shop.

It’s just one of his foibles.

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Floofee Break

Floofee Break (floofinition) – A short break to visit with an animal.

In use: “After doing chores, a floofee break with the cat and dog always restored Marc’s spirits. Sometimes he’d take two or three floofbreaks a day. Rainy days could tun into a day-long floofee break.”

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Friday’s Wandering Thought

He knew a brief history of pants and also read about plural tantum, but it still bothered him to hear underwear referred to ‘a pair of underwear’ or ask for ‘a pair of pants’. He had no problem with a pair of glasses although a pair of scissors irked him. For his own use, he’d quit referring to a ‘pair’ of any of these things.

He was just trying to pare things down to make life simpler.

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The Morning Mouse

He has his routines. After eating his wet food and his kibble, he heads for the desk. His guy is seated behind it, on the computer. There, on the right, is the man’s mouse, used for his computer, his hand resting on it. Eyeing it, he walks around the computer to the mouse hand, and puts his nose down and starts rubbing on his human’s hand. He usually only wants about two to three minutes of rubbing on the mouse hand before settling down for a nap, using the mouse hand as a pillow. That rarely works because the hand and mouse moves, eventually causing him to jump down to find another napping location. But all is well.

He’s had his morning mouse. It’ll suffice until after dinner. Then he’ll have his evening mouse.

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Tuesday’s Wandering Thought

A bear was spotted crossing Siskiyou Boulevard at 12:45 PM. He then went up Park Street. Naturally, everyone wondered, why did the bear cross the road? Yes, sure, it was to get to the other side, but why?

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Floofspeed

Floofspeed (floofinition) – A velocity achieved by animals when they seriously go after something, it’s never been successfully measured but has been estimated to be six billion times the speed of light.

In use: “When he dropped food on the floor, the dog was on it faster than floofspeed, no matter where it was dropped or where the dog was when it was dropped.”

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Wednesday’s Wandering Thought

It was mid-afternoon. He was walking fast down a steep street. Cars were parked on either side of the narrow street so when a car came up in the other way, he stepped aside to wait for them to pass.

The car slowed to a crawl.

He wondered if they were turning into a driveway and looked down to see what was happening.

The silver Honda pulled up beside him. A woman he didn’t know stared at him for a second and then powered down the window, laughing as she did. When the window was partly down, she said, “I’m sorry. I thought you were a bear.” Laughing again, he put her window up and went on.

He gazed up the street as the car climbed the hill, wondering, did she say bear?

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Tuesday’s Wandering Thought

His top ten lists are flexible. Whether it’s books, songs, musical groups, or places, mood and season seem to cause fluctuation. About his only constants is that blueberries keep eking out a win over watermelon as the top front and coffee just beats water as his favorite drink. For the record, beer is consistently third on that list, followed by red wine. Also for the record, water remains at the top of the most needed drink.

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