Category: humor

Wednesday’s Theme Music

Hello! Welcome to Wed-nez-day.That’ how I always feel it should be said, and I often do say it that way. But language and pronunciation are like quantum physics, working to their own mysterious rules.

It’s the 16th of November, 2022. The month and the year are uncoiling for their final segments.

Sunshine has invaded the fall sky, complemented by a rich abundance of wind. Sunrise jumpstarted daytime at 0702. Night’s portion of this Wed-nez-day falls into place at 1648 tonight. It’s 50 out now — that’s Fahrenheit — and the 62 is the expected high.

No news on Mom. Sitting here drumming my fingers, waiting for test results. Middle little sister — I have three younger sisters to match my one older one, and they are an interesting set — said that test results usually need four days in that hospital system. Herself says she’s feeling fine but annoyed.

Feeding the beasts this morning, I was singing them a song that I often utilize, that being “Fifty Ways to Feed Your Floofy”. The lyrics for my cover go, “Just open a can, Sam. Fill the bowl, Moe. Just feed it to me. Don’t look at the clock, Jock. Don’t need to discuss much, just pour out the food, dude. Give me something to eat.”

The Neurons picked up on it, so the original Paul Simon melody is thriving in the morning mental music stream. This was Simon’s only solo number one. When I heard that years ago, I had to verify it using the net. Did it again today. It’s such a familiar song for me and lends itself well to the morning feeding ritual. The song was released in 1975, the same year my SO and I started leaving together and then married.

Coffee is being drunk. The Neurons are happy. Stay positive, test negative, and vax up, including the flu, you know? It’s doing the circuits, dropping people out of social and volunteer commitments. Hope it doesn’t get you.

Here’s the tune. Feel free to supply your own lyrics, like, “Give me a cup of brew, Stu. Must be fifty ways to have your coffee.” I’m having mine with Meyer’s lemon pound cake. Wife made it to give to others. It wasn’t to her standards, so I’m the beneficiary. That light sweetness goes great with my coffee’s bitter essence.

Cheers

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Tuesday’s Wandering Thought

They used to tell him, “It’s the thought that counts.” But as everyone knows who thought they won an election, or bought a lottery ticket and didn’t win, believed they were going to win a football game, or thought they had Wordle in two moves, it’s not the thought that counts. It’s the results.

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Refloofucation

Refloofucation (floofinition) – A process of training conducted by an animals to break paradigms and instill new understanding about animals.

In use: “After Kevin adopted the big rescue dog, the animal, named Summit, began a refloofucation effort to help Kevin and others understand that being big didn’t mean being mean or aggressive, and that cats aren’t dogs’ natural enemies.”

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Tuesday’s Theme Music

I thought we’d play a game today. I’m not going to tell you what day of the week it is. Instead, I’ll give you a clue: it’s between Monday and Tuesday. As a second clue, I’ll tell you that it’s November 15, 2022, but don’t cheat and look at a calendar or computer to see which day of the week it is, alright? Cool. This should be fun.

It’s a bigly windy and sunny day out there. Winds roaring about like a big, drunk, hairy guy, shaking leaves on trees and shouting incoherently about what’s going on. People try to avoid him but he’s every dang place. Temperature has settled at 48 degrees F under these conditions but the weather they say it’ll get up to 52 F. I’m optimistic because yesterday saw us peak at 59 F. It was lovely except a wind would rake you once in a while, like reminding you, winter is looking over your shoulder. The sun came on stage at 7:01 AM while they’ll take their final bows in the valley at 4:49 this evening. Should be sunny all day, though.

On the personal front, Mom has gone in and out of the hospital again. Concerns about her appendix took her in last Thursday. They saw fluid in her appendix on imaging, put her on meds, drew blood and urine for the lab, and sent her home. Yesterday, they called her back in because they’d found Yokenella regensburgei in the lab results. Mom, a retired nurse, had never heard of it, and no wonder, because from what my net reading tells me, it’s pretty rare. The family tree is shook by this news. After bringing Mom in yesterday for more tests, they gave her meds and sent her home. We don’t know what they’re planning, but I read some case studies so we have some idea of what to expect. Fingers crossed for the tough old broad once again. She says she feels fine although the news wearied her.

For music, I’m going with “I Ain’t Worried” by OneRepublic. The song was featured in the Top Gun fillum this year but I haven’t seen the movie. People seemed to like it but we weren’t enticed enough to go sit in a theater with a mask on for a few hours.

The Neurons pulled the song up after my wife said something to me, a trivial matter to which I responded, “I’m not worried about it right now.” If you’re familiar with the song, it features this whistling part. Soon as I uttered my words, The Neurons started that whistling part. Now it’s traveling the morning mental music stream like the moon going around the Earth.

Okay, on to other things. Stay positive, etc. The coffee has already been tested and deemed useful for delivering a refreshing taste and giving me enough energy to breathe and think, though maybe not at the same time. More coffee will be needed for that. Here’s the song. Enjoy the whistling.

Cheers

8

Monday’s Wandering Thought

Seeing movement on his vision’s edge, he thinks it’s his wife walking by and turns to speak to her.

It’s not his wife, but a short and plump elderly man.

He’s astonished. Other than the color of their jackets, the man looks nothing like his spouse.

Does he tell her about this incident? Do you think he has a death wish?

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Sunday’s Wandering Thought

He has noticed that as he gets older, he more frequently pronounces things as ‘just right’. It’s like he’d becoming one of the three bears who visit Goldilocks.

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Owning the Peeps

Owning the Peeps (floofinition) – A strategy among animals that focuses on being sweet or humorous in order to control and manipulate humans, or ‘peeps’.

In use: “Owning the peeps by kittens and puppies is often as simple as invoking ‘big eyes’, wherein the animal presents a wide-eyed look of innocence when they’re caught doing something wrong.”

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Saturday’s Wandering Thought

The coffee shop was half full. Looking around, he counted ten other patrons. Another four people were working behind the counter. All were female except him.

He was the only male presence. The realization made him feel a little conspicuous. Being the only one present conferred enormous responsibility on him.

At least in his mind.

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