I find myself part of a new breed, one that looks at the activity tracker on their wrist and then taps it to reach a specific piece of desired information or function. I think I’ll call folks like me ‘wrist-tappers’. Maybe just tappers.
Losing Time
Cuddle puddles on your arms,
Showering you with furry charms.
Can induce laziness with little will,
Making the need to do things drop to nil.
Maybe sleep and read,
Or read and sleep,
Or just stroke the floofs,
And live and be.
They’ll take your cares and troubles away,
But you’ll probably end up losing a day.
Though most say, that’s alright in the end,
Cause what’s better than spending time with friends?
Tuesday’s Wandering Thoughts
My wife said, “I’m going to wear my blue sweater that I wore the other day, but I think you can see through it in the sunlight.”
I answered, “You can.”
“You could see through it?”
“Yes.”
“You could see through it but you chose not to say anything?”
“You’re very fashion aware. It’s a loose knit sweater. I thought you knew.”
Eyes rolling, throwing her hands up, she stormed off. I shrugged, guessing, I must be the asshole for not saying anything, and then reflecting on the entire process one more time.
We didn’t stay angry long; after being together for over fifty-two years as friends and everything else, we don’t stay angry. Act out or vent, move on. She came out, ready to go. She wasn’t wearing the blue sweater in question but a light blue sweater. I said, sincerely, “You look nice.”
She grinned at me. “Not see through?”
“Totally opaque,” I replied.
Floofvoid
Floofvoid (floofinition) – 1. The empty space left when an animal isn’t there.
In use: “Many people suffer from floofvoid when a loved fur friend is lost.”
2. Action or behavior to prevent an accident or limit interaction with an animal.
In use: “Floofvoiding mechanisms were frequently employed by Nancy as she walked around the house, because her pets would just throw themselves in her way for attention.”
Monday’s Wandering Thoughts
So many products proclaim as part of their instructions, “For Best Results”. But experienced folks among us realize that’s a generality. Sometimes the ‘Best Results’ aren’t so kind for us. As you age and things change, so does your expectations for ‘Best Results’.
Sunday’s Wandering Thoughts
He and his wife made some plans for cleaning, organizing, and purging. “Can we do this after you come back from your writing?” she asked.
“Yes,” he answered with confidence. He had other plans as well. He could do it all, couldn’t he? Of course he could, right?
“That’s been taken under review,” his neurons replied. “We’ll see.”
Multiflooferal
Multiflooferal (floofinition) – Having or involving many animals.
In use: “In an era when homes had two or three pets, the Simon’s multiflooferal home featured a rescue duck, raccoon, seven cats, four dogs, aquariums full of fish, several pet birds, an iguana, hamster, pet rabbit, and turtle.
Friday’s Wandering Thoughts
He told his friends, “With all the recent smoke, I’ve added some things to my morning routine. Now I spray each nostril with saline spray, and then put eye drops in. I can’t help myself from thinking when I do, is this the smoke, or getting old, or functions and tissue breaking down?”
His friends replied in unison, “Yes.”
Michael Seidel, writer 