Category: humor

Saturday’s Theme Music

Mood: Jubifeinated

Today is Saturday, July 6, 2024. It’s 80 F outside and we’re expected to peak at 110 F. Well, some say it’ll just be 104 or 105. My house saw over 104 yesterday while a friend on the other end of town recorded 107 at their place. It’s already feeling hotter today because the temperature didn’t dip much below 70 today. A bright, vigorously hot sun is working with cooperative air to keep it viciously hot. The clouds have scurried away from this endeavor.

Triple digit highs are expected to continue visiting Ashlandia for the next three days but today is expected to be the most bakiest heat, although it’s by a degree and depends on where you’re at in town, and how much shade is offered by trees and mountains.

The cats are coping well with the heat. I give them kibble water — water with a few pieces of dry food in it — and they suck that up, keeping them hydrated. My wife and I are also coping well despite our AC being inop — or even the HVAC’s fan being available. It did reach a warm 86 in the house yesterday but fans blowing on our sweat and lots of water kept us cool.

Discussions about the weather yesterday inspired today’s theme music. We were talking about how it was hotter than yesterday but it won’t be as hot as tomorrow. The Neurons took license like that, twisting an old pop song. Suddenly I had them singing, “It’s hotter today than yesterday, but not as hot as tomorrow.” They were doing it to the music of “More Today Than Yesterday”, a 1969 song by the Spiral Staircase, which was now ringing through the morning mental music stream (Trademark dated).

I need to pause here because I didn’t know it was the Spiral Staircase performing. I didn’t know who it was. It often sounds like Stevie Wonder to me. I just learned today via Wikipedia.org that the vocalist, Pat Upton, was known for his unusually high voice. He passed away in 2016, 76 years old, so thanks for the music, Mr. Upton.

Stay positive, be strong, lean forward, and Vote Blue in 2024. Coffee and I have met this morning and begun our exchange. Here’s the music. It appears to be a lip syncing offering, as there aren’t any visible microphones and there are no wires leading to the electric guitars, among several clear clues. Cheers

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The Present

I received a free coffee from my regular coffee haunt for my birthday. As part of the exchange, I told the barista, who is a friend, that I was 68.

Shock traveled his expression. “Wow. I thought that I was older than you but you’re several years older. But you look like you’re ten years younger.”

Now that, friends, is a gift.

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Flooferitus

Flooferitus (floofinition)– An animal retired from professional life or special position but allowed to retain as an honorary title the rank of the last office/position held.

In Use: “Candy ruled the house until Morty arrived when Candy was older, but Candy remained the Queen Flooferitus until her final day.”

In Use: “Chester tried to shift T Rex into an flooferitus but T’s stony stare and throaty glare gave the youngster second thoughts.”

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68

Sixty-eight has a good feel to it to me.

I’m 68 years old today. Well, if you believe the state’s official records, and Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad claim they were there. But you know, parents tell stories. Like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or that they walked ten miles through snow uphill to get to school every day. Who can believe them?

My phone and computer has been pinging with birthday wishes from friends around the world. That really makes my heart swell three times its normal size.

I’ve been looking forward to becoming sixty-eight. It’s because of cars. See, in 1968, when I was twelve, cars excited and interested me. At one point, I thought I’d become an adult and design cars. I drew them all the time. ’68 was the year I saw sporty performance Mustangs and Camaros, along with an actual XK-E Jaguar that someone parked in a neighbor’s driveway. So cool!

So 68 has a good feel for me. It’s exciting, full of energy and promise. I hope I can sustain that across 365 days, because I’m getting pretty excited about becoming 69. Wait till I tell you about it.

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Thursday’s Wandering Thoughts

I sneezed. My wife said, “Godzilla.”

This is something she’s adopted from the net Someone posted that they didn’t believe in God so instead of saying “God bless you,” they say, “Godzilla.” Has just as much meaning to them.

Naturally, I responded, “Mothra.”

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Negoflooate

Negoflooate (floofinition) – Conferring with an animal to settle a disagreement or resolve an issue.

In Use: “‘Look,’ Richard negoflooated with his floof, ‘Drink some of this slurry first, and I’ll let you go out into the yard, okay?'”

In Use: “Beginning to negoflooate with her dog, Sharon said, ‘What will it take to get you to stop barking like a mad dog? You want treats? Treats? Okay, then.’ The negoflooations ended with a floofpromise.”

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Wednesday’s Theme Music

Mood: Rebelfeinated

TL/DR: It’s hot, liberty is in danger, Vote Blue, and “Come Together”.

Sunshine is slicing through the blue sky like a sword scything through air.

Today is Wednesday, July 3, 2024, and we’re looking at a hot one. 73 F at this intersection of existence, the hot temperatures will test us with peaks in the mid 90s. They’re just prepping us for the SHS – Seriously Hot Stuff – descending on us tomorry.

For giggles last night, I was thinking of a song called, “My Country, Tis of Thee”. Around for a while, many just call it “America”. Its second line is, “Sweet land of liberty.” With MAGA-led initiatives, an asterisk needs attached to that line. Not a land of liberty for book-reading in many GOP realms where they’re banning books in schools. Nor is there liberty if you want to encourage diversity, equity, and inclusion, nor if you dare risk raising your voice to discuss climate change and its dangers. Not a land of liberty if you’re talking about using a name which you think fits who you are, nor is it a land of liberty for you if your gender isn’t exactly as stated on your certificate of birth. Don’t overlook the limits on liberty if you’re a pregnant woman, no matter how it came about, because in Godly Republican states, you don’t control your body. That’s the state’s job, so shut your mouth and do as they tell you. That’s GOP-style freedom in the MAGA dome.

Today’s music was created by the songwriting team of Lennon-McCartney. The Beatles released “Come Together” in 1969. Thirteen years old, I loved the freakin’ song. Fifty-five years later, The Neurons have brought it up in response to our political atmosphere and have it going in the morning mental music stream (Trademark united). Yes, some crazy messages are in that song but that basic vibe, “Come together”, is what The Neurons are feelin’. Come together and support President Biden and the Democratic Party in 2024. Come together to stop the MAGA train and its authoritarian destination. Come together to bring some semblance of a vision of America moving forward to a pinnacle where we all share equal rights and freedoms, regardless of our physical and sexual attributes, a place where we’re willing to negotiate and compromise as needed to improve life for all and protect the planet. Yeah, I may be a dreamer, but I know more are out there.

Stay positive, be strong, lean forward, and Vote Blue in 2024. Coffee has crested past my lips and has infiltrated my body in a good way. Here’s the music. I choose a different version from the original but included a couple takes of the song for your viewing pleasure. Any buzz your neurons in a pleasure way?

Cheers

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Floofstulfying

Floofstulfying (floofinition) – The dulling or inhibiting effect an animal may have on others. Origins: 2020, United States (Internet), first noted during the COVID19 pandemic.

“In Use: “People who began working at home during the pandemic learned firsthand of floofstulfying as their pets came around and undermined their work effort.”

In Use: Awakening with a zest for work, floofstulfying overtook Pam’s plans as she played with the rescue kittens.”

In Use: “Productivity is sometimes compromised by floofstulfying as people watch videos of animals on the net.”

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Tuesday’s Wandering Thoughts

Sometimes, I come across something on the net that makes me pause and address my screen. “I’m gonna read this later,” I say. What my brain is telling me when those words leave my mouth is that I need more time and coffee to address whatever it is I’m facing on that screen. “I’m gonna need more time and coffee.”

The words I live by.

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Monday’s Wandering Thoughts

We’re watching “Black Matter” on Apple TV. Don’t confuse it with “Dark Matters”. The plural of matters makes it a completely different matter.

This series is based on the Blake Crouch novel of the same name from 2016. We read the book back when it came out. Now it’s fun, trying to remember the novel’s plot and comparing it to what’s going on in the television job. Like a pop culture memory test.

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