Floofx (floofinition) – 1. A box claimed by an animal for their use. Origins: 1817, England.
In Use: “After the first cardboard box was used to deliver goods in England in 1817, the recipients noticed that their cat immediately jumped into the empty box and went to sleep, and thereafter called all such boxes, floof boxes, which was later abbreviated to floofxes (plural).”
2. A social media brand accessible to animals which is strictly devoted to sharing animal related news and information.
In Use: “Using Earth’s natural energy and communications channels, animals established Floofx as a social media channel to share information about the world, such as identifying which humans to avoid, and which ones were easy touches for food and help.”
Floofments(floofinition) – Garments or articles of clothing used when engaging with animals. Origins: First known use, late 20th century, United States (South Carolina).
In Use: “Whenever something had to be done with Rolex (named for the way he watched) like administering medicine, giving Rollie a bath or clipping nails was pursued, Sue and Andi first donned well-worn floofments — essentially heavily used older clothing no longer worn in public and thick gloves — to protect their bodies.”
Infloofsion(floofinition) Animal act of wrongfully entering upon, seizing, or taking possession of something which they’re not supposed to have. Origins: First known use was in fifteen century bakeries, butchers, and fish markets.
In Use: “Like many felines, Domino quickly became infloofmous for his infloofsions, stealing popcorn, sandwiches, pieces of fish, and his favorite, cheese pizza.”
In Use: “Ramona Rex infloofsions after escaping her kennel amounted to a haphazard hoard of dirty socks, shoes, underwear, and shorts, causing Kylie to observe to her husband that it was ‘almost like the dog wanted to dress like a human.'”
Floofnouement(floofinition) – The final outcome of the main dramatic complication involving animals. Origins: Floonch dénouement, literally, unfloofing, from Middle Floof desnouement, from desnouer to unfloof, from Old Floonch desfloofer, from des- de- + noer to tie, from Flooftin nofloof, from floofus floof.
In Use: “Everyone held their breath when the huge old dog, who never succumbed to gratefully sharing his space with anyone met the tiny new puppy, but the floofnouement found the two stretched out, napping against one another like old friends.”
In Use: “George always greeted ideas of getting a cat with a dismissive grunt but the floofnouement revealed that George’s lap was the preferred napping site for the two tiny fur balls, a pattern that remained as long as man and beast were together.”
Subfloofmate(floofinition) A change of animal behavior to deal with an unacceptable situation or decision. Origins: 1559, Middle Floofish from Floofieval Flooftin, subflooftamus.
In Use: “Ollie wanted treats, to which Ali said, “No, you’ve already had our treats and can’t have more because you’re getting fat,” which caused Ollie to subfloofmate his frustrations by going into the bedroom and knocking everything off the dresser.”
In Use: “Part of the success of suavexavier’s posts about his dobies is how they subfloofmate to deal with the situations he presents them, especially when it’s Bear.”
Floofternal(floofinition) – Relating to, of, belonging to, or characteristic of a person who understands and cares for animals. Origins: 15th Century Floofeval Floofish
In Use: “People’s lives get tangled with floofternal complexities when they decide to share their homes and lives with an animal.”
In Use: “Mycheala had a strong floofternal instinct and was often roped into saving animals, a duty she richly enjoyed and embraced.”
Summer is pushing more blue sky and sunshine on us. Chastised clouds have slipped the area and the sun reigns supreme. 70 F at 11 AM, we’re anticipating…78 F as our high. Sweet to me.
Papi the butter butt floof loves this warm weather. He came in this morning. We shared a purrful visit, then he stuffed himself on kibble, wet food, treats, and water. Now he’s floofsconced in the vinca. Only his sweet ginger and white face is visible among the green leaves.
Today’s music arrived with a boost from my wife. I was listening to a video which played a few seconds of every Billboard weekly number one hit song in the United States from the beginning of 1960 to the end of 1969. This came to my attention via 1440’s deep dive into the history of rock and roll.
My wife came in as the video advanced through “These Boots Are Made for Walking”, “The Ballad of the Green Berets”, “(You’re My) Soul and Inspiration”, “Good Lovin'”, and “Monday, Monday”.
“What year are you listening to?” she asked.
“Guess,” I replied.
She tried 1970, 1968, and then 1965. “1966,” I said. A little later, Bobbie Gentry sang, “Harper Valley PTA”.
My wife sang along and then said, “I love that song. But the very first record I ever wanted was “Society’s Child” by Janis Ian. I think I was thirteen. I asked for it for Christmas but I didn’t get it.”
I looked it up. “That came out in 1967.”
“How old was I then?”
“Ten.”
Anyway, The Neurons slipped “Society’s Child” into the morning mental music stream when I wasn’t paying attention. My wife thought the song had hit number one; I never told her that it didn’t break the top 10. Of course, bigotry and racism and it’s controversial topic of interracial dating kept it from getting airtime.
I’m at the coffee shop, my fix at hand. There was a line and a hold up. As I waited, the manager came around with my drink, along with the side of ice water which I always request. “Where do you want these, Michael?” she asked.
Laughing, I answered, “I can take them,” but she insisted on delivering them to my table for me.
Floofsconce (floofinition) – Term to describe animal sleeping in a safe, protected, and comfortable space. Origins: 1594, western regions of Floofrope.
In Use: “People who share life with floofs are always pleased when their floof can floofsconce somewhere where the people can reliably find them safe and comfortable.
In Use: “For feline floofs, under and behinds bushes outdoors in the summer is where they often floofsconce.”
In Use: “As a puppy, Animal usually dropped and slept wherever he stopped playing, but as an adult, he always floofsconced in Matty’s room, on their bed.”
Michael Seidel, writer 