fiction – Page 33 – Michael Seidel, writer

Watching events through one of the coffee shop windows, he saw a car suddenly appear out of nowhere and wheel into a parking lot. Where’d that come from, he wondered, studying the lines of traffic. Just a white BMW SUV. Not the newest model and not the largest one.

The driver and passenger emerged. Neither looked human. Holy shit, he thought, straightening, eyes widening. Both of them were tall, pale green and – naked? Squinting hard against the glaring sun, he focused as intensely as possible.

Yes, they were nakd. He looked around the coffee shop, hoping another witness to what he was seeing was noticing. But the rest of the shop denizens were into their laptops, phones, and books. None seemed to see the two tall, naked, green aliens walking away from a white BMW toward the bakery across the street.

Then both changed, becoming a middle-aged couple, he in khaki cargo shorts with a green polo shirt, she in a yellow sun dress showing naked brown legs, and sandals.

He’d seen enough, though. He knew what he’d observed and pounced on several conclusions. Aliens were arriving in spaceships that looked like cars.

It made perfect sense, explaining the recent spate of bad driving he’d noticed, the unusually heavy traffic, and why others’ political thinking so frequently seemed alien to his own.

It was a perfect storm of clarity, and only he knew it.

The Hill has a nice little opinion piece about Donald J. Trump and the Louisiana ten commandments law. That law says that every classroom in the state will display the ten commandments. Many think that Louisiana law violates the separation of church and state establishment clause of our nation’s founding documents.

But The Hill has a great idea: ask Donald Trump if he supports this during the debate, and then, as a first follow up, ask him to name the ten commandments.

Oh, boy what a word salad that would create! We’d hear great a lot. Probably hear, too, that Moses was a great friend of Trump’s, wonderful guy, used to cruise the desert together. We might be regaled by a Trump tale of how Moses wanted Trump to fly him to the flaming bush but Trump talked him out of it.

“Mo,” Trump says, further explaining, “I always called him Mo. All his close friends did, and family, some family, but I believe I’m the one who started calling him Mo. He wasn’t a Moses he was a Mo. Not like the Three Stooges but still. Three Stooges. Funniest comedians ever, so funny, very funny.

“So I told Mo, Mo, think of the optics. I’m very good with optics. I’m great with optics. Some say that I’m the greatest with optics in the world ever. Optics, you know, optics can change people’s impressions of you. It’s true. That’s why, you need to have a brand. Once you have a brand, you protect it. The Trump brand, I established the Trump brand. Very protective of it, very protective, very. Greatest brand in the world, greatest. People voted for me when I ran because they knew the Trump brand.
They knew it. They knew the Trump brand and all the Trump brand stands for. That’s why people trust me. It’s the Trump brand. The Trump brand is one of the most valuable in the world. Ever. I told Lincoln, I didn’t tell him, no, Lincoln was, but if Lincoln had been there, I would have told him, Ab, you need to create a brand. If Ab had created a brand, he’d, they would have never shot him. Democrats shot him. Democrats. Cuz they feared him. Just like they fear me. Because I tell the truth. I tell the truth. Everyone knows I always tell the truth. That’s why I wanted to lock up Hillary. But I never said that. Never said it. Never. I could have locked her up, had every right to, after I won. But I didn’t. That’s why they created the virus, the covfefe virus. The Dems did it. Worked with the Chinese. Secret government. They’re out to take over the world. That’s why they must be stopped. They’re killers. They’ll do anything to stop me. Anything. I receive more threats. If you knew, I’ve been threatened more times than Lincoln. And they killed him. So, you know, that’s a lot of threats. But I’m too tough. Too tough. The generals who worked for me in the White House, they’d tell me every day, sir, you’re so tough. Sir, you’re the toughest son of a bitch we’ve ever seen. Always call me, sir, always call me, sir. Because they respect me for my toughness. I would’ve been a great soldier. Great leader. Natural leader, natural leader. I was a leader when I was a child. People, whenever something went wrong, people would like at me and they would ask, what should we do? You’re a great leader, what should we do? See, they can see that in me. I have an aura of greatness. Also an aura of invisibility. That’s why I know so much. Put on my invisibility aura and people don’t know I’m there. So I eavesdrop on them because they don’t know I’m there because I’m invisible. That’s how I knew the FBI planted documents. I was there but I had my invisibility aura on and they couldn’t see me. They couldn’t see me but I saw. And I heard. So I know what they did.

“Did you know I have an invisibility aura? Let me put it on for you. I’ll put it on right now. See? You can’t see me know, can you? That’s because I’m invisible. But you can see Biden. You can see Joe Biden. He’s standing there, on the other side of the stage. You can see him because he can’t become invisible like I can. That’s why you should vote for me.”