Floofthrob (floofinition) – An animal renowned for its attractiveness.
In use: “Whenever, wherever, someone saw Silver, her striking blue eyes and beautiful fur caused everyone to stop, stare, and exclaim over the floofthrob’s beauty.”
Revolflooftion
Revolflooftion (floofinition) – 1. The course of an animal following a regular pattern.
In use: “Whenever he went into his fenced backyard, Spunky completed several revolflooftions of the grounds, sniffing out the news about visitors and guests.”
2. A sudden, complete, radical change in how an animal behaves or eats.
In use: “After being a stoic monk for the first three days, the little rescued foster went through a revolflooftion, becoming a small food vacuum that needed replenished every three hours.”
3. An animal’s takeover of a household or group of animals, regardless of species.
In use: “Within a week of her arrival, Bonnie — now known as Queen B — had staged a revolflooftion and ruled the other animals with a velvet paw.”
Floofsnickety
Floofsnickety (floofinition) – 1. A fussy animal.
In use: “Brim was floofsnickety regarding all matters of life, including how his food was presented (the bowl must be filled and then set in front of him — and it had better be a clean bowl), how his fur was brushed, and how strangers approached him, traits that made him all the more endearing.”
2. People who put too unusual emphasis on details involving animals, especially housepets.
In use: “Marcia always cooked chicken for her dog — he’d never eat anything else — and dressed him each morning with a clean bow tie, habits which made many people call her floofsnickety, but only behind her back.”
Double Floof Dare
Double Floof Dare (floofinition) – Defiant taunt used among animals, especially young housepets, to issue challenges chiefly regarding breaking rules or doing reckless acts.
In use: “The kittens were milling around the kitchen when one said to another, “I double floof dare you to climb her leg and get on the counter,” so the challenged kitten, a little black female named Onyx, immediately started climbing. I mean, she’d been double floof dared. What else could be done?” From Tales Around the Floofsite
Flooficare
Flooficare (floofinition) – International organization dedicated to providing animals medical care and health assistance.
In use: “Started in 1999, Flooficare has reached out to animals around the world, while infiltrating human organization and activities to provide a positive spin to human activities which affect animals — which is, as animals fondly point out, everything.”
Floofscience
Floofscience (floofinition) – Animal anticipation of the course of events.
In use: “Keri’s pets knew with amazing floofscience when she was going for something to eat, rising wherever they were and meeting her in the kitchen in perfect synfloofnicity.”
Floofidel
Floofidel (floofinition) – One who is not an animal or who opposes animals or animal rights.
In use: “Many floofidels believe animals are soulless, that they don’t feel emotions, or, because they’re not ‘man’, or human, do not deserve the same rights as humans. Fortunately, the ranks of floofidels are shrinking. Yet, the smart floof should be aware that they’re still out there.” From Training A Human, A Guide for Young Floofs
The Philospher-Musician Dream
It began with a dark, rainy night. Walking along on a windy tar road under a tall highway overpass, I was looking for a specific house, one where a French philosopher and musician lived. I had some vision but it was extremely dark and wet. As I walked, I realized an animal was not far from me. I veered a bit to go around it and realized it was a large, black dog. I changed course again, then just shrugged off the dog’s presence and walked past it. The dog ignored me; I looked back and found it was two large, black dogs, but they weren’t paying any attention to me.
I arrived at the house I sought. Children let me in and led me to a bedroom. Her ceilings were low, the walls were wood-paneled, windows abounded, and the lights were soft, yellow glows. After a moment, a woman entered; this was the philosopher-musician I sought. She was short and fair, thin, with a black bob. I explained to her that I had an original song trapped in my head. I wanted to get it out but I wanted to duplicate it so others could hear it. Could she help?
Yes. I sat on her bed on white sheets. She asked me to describe the song. I listened in my head and described soft violins that swelled and fell. She began playing music, asking, like this? That kept on until she had that piece down with my corrections. So it went, with different instruments, until she’d captured the entire song in my head. The children sometimes interrupted, coming in to peek at me or asking Mom for something, but it was overall a very productive but intense session.
She gave me a copy of the recording for my use. I left, retracing my steps through dark pouring rain. Seeing a shortcut through a yard, I ventured to follow it, where I saw a bird riding on the back of the turtle. The turtle went through a pool of water and then out onto the land again. The bird was almost dislodged but resettled. Both looked at me. I wondered if the bird was a burden to the turtle and considered trying to remove it but decided against it.
I went on and came across a large party under sunshine and tents on the grounds of a Marriott Hotel. I knew it was a Marriott because of the big, red letters. It wasn’t raining; I was dry and the land was dry. I saw two of my tall cousins. Going to them, I said, “Hey, let me buy you a drink,” and handed one a twenty. Each already had a drink in their hand but stopped and looked at the money.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It’s not enough,” one cousin answered.
“Isn’t this happy hour?” I returned.
“Yes,” the other cousin said, “But my vodka is nine dollars a shot, and this is a double shot.”
Dream end.
Flooftoral
Flooftoral (floofinition) – Of, or relating to land, area, or space around animals.
In use: “The bedroom master bed was bathed in sunshine each morning, becoming the flooftoral post-feeding napping zone.”
Michael Seidel, writer 