Circumfloofar
Circumfloofar (floofinition) – Found or discovered in the vicinity of a floof. First known use in 1686.
In use: “Judging from the circumfloofar collection of torn toilet paper rolls by the puppy and kitten — not even pointing out the pieces stuck to the floofs — they were guilty of a first rate case of floofhem, but both little beasts acted wholly innocent, as though the surrounding mess had nothing to do with them.”
Aflooferation
Aflooferation (floofinition) – A word created that associates an action or behavior with an animal’s antics.
In use: “One aflooferation that M uses is pogoing or pogoed. Pogo was a sweet buff ginger cat, a twenty-two pounder who loved hunting and playing. Once, startled when M’s wife was rubbing Pogo’s belly, dropping her long dark hair over Pogo’s face, he swatted her hard on the head with both front paws, claws retracted. Ever since, whenever a cat hit one of them with their claws in, they say that the cat pogoed them.”
Floofrenting
Floofrenting (floofinition) – Act of raising an animal.
In use: ‘”Contrary to some web sites, floofrenting isn’t about leasing an animal’s use for a period of time,” Sharon explained to John. “It’s about taking them in and helping them mature to be the best animal they can be and have a satisfying life.”‘
Floofsick
Floofsick (floofinition) – Missing a fur friend, and thinking about them, no matter what the circumstances.
In use: “Being away from his floofjoys, M would think of them each morning, hoping they were okay, trying to think brainwaves to them to reassure them he would be returning soon.”
Infloofuation
Infloofuation (floofinition) An intense but brief, highly charged exchange of affection between two animals or between a human and animal.
In use: “When the dog met the cat, serious infloofuation happened, with the dog wagging his entire body and the cat throwing herself, rolling around and purring while the dog licked her exposed belly.”
WTF, Again
It’s time once again for WTF, Again, also sometimes called WTF, America. This is a New Mexico edition.
A white family experienced an emergency when a speeding car hit their pet dog. Jumping into the car with the injured animal, they raced for the nearest vet in an attempt to save their beloved animal. Enroute, they sped past a police car, who gave pursuit and pulled them over.
William Albrecht was driving. According to KRQE’s excellent reporting, he didn’t expect what happened next.
“I imagined if he was going to pull me over for speeding, I’d pull over,” Albrecht told KRQE. “He’d say something to me and then maybe even help us get there. You know, I’ve heard of stories like that before, but that didn’t happen.”
No, that didn’t happen. According to video, the police showed no sympathy and little concern for anything except enforcing their police power. The officer ordered Albrecht out of the car at gunpoint and made him kneel. The officer wasn’t interested in what was going on at all. He just wanted Albrecht to do what he was told, reporting that he felt threatened because Albrecht seemed enraged and had clenched fists in the air.
Note that no video support the officer’s story.
More officers were called to the scene, of course, because this unarmed white man and his wife and son were so damn scary, and Albrecht was handcuffed, of course.
Albrecht was especially distraught because they always ‘support the blue’ and feel that they’d done nothing to warrant this police reaction. It’s easy to imagine that if Albrecht was black, he might have been shot, because it’s happened to so many others. I imagine, too, that the city and police force will stand behind the officer and the wall of blue, and many citizens will support the police, because they support the blue.
According to KRQE, ‘BPD’s policy does call for de-escalation, stating, “the level of force employed must be commensurate with the threat posed by the subject and the seriousness of the situation.”. Yes the BPD police officer was clearly working hard to de-escalate that situation, wasn’t he? His situational awareness was just top notch.
Sadly, the dog passed away, a young boy had a traumatic moment compounded because the officer showed no empathy or concerns, and a family has come to understand why fewer people ‘support the blue’. I’m sorry for the family’s loss.
Floofpid Shuffle
Floofpid Shuffle (floofinition) Modern dance with floofs which requires a person to jump one way to avoid a floof, and then another, starting in a new direction, then changing directions, followed by hopping, turning, and twisting while the floof does its own dance moves.
In use: “Many people owned by pets can stylishly do the floofpid shuffle, but for a real challenge, some add multiple leashes and pull off some really impressive moves to stay disentangled and in control.”
The Floofy Hop
The Floofy Hop (floofinition) A dance done by animals and humans where the animals try to intercept the humans, get their attention, or herd them one way, while humans attempt to continue on the path of what they were trying to do.
In use: “Whenever Bob went to feed Lucifer, they had to do the floofy hop as Lucifer cried for his attention, entwined herself through his legs and around his ankles, and threw herself on her back on front of him, forcing Bob to turn and turn again to avoid stepping on the floof.”
Losing Time
Cuddle puddles on your arms,
Showering you with furry charms.
Can induce laziness with little will,
Making the need to do things drop to nil.
Maybe sleep and read,
Or read and sleep,
Or just stroke the floofs,
And live and be.
They’ll take your cares and troubles away,
But you’ll probably end up losing a day.
Though most say, that’s alright in the end,
Cause what’s better than spending time with friends?
Michael Seidel, writer 