Category: dog

Floofgestible

Floofgestible (floofinition) – Easily influenced by animal requests, behaviors, or presence. Origins: 1890, borrowed in Middle English floof and directly from Latin adjective suffix -ibilis (-able).

In use: “The new cats, Scout and Snickers, quickly established that Carla was floofgestible, and soon had her wrapped around their tails.”

In use: “Many people who declare that they’re aren’t ‘animal lovers’ and find themselves with a innocent animal needing assistance quickly realize that they’re floofgestible, doing anything to help their new fur friends to keep them alive and comfortable.”

Recent: “One friction point between Cameron and his wife in an otherwise idyllic marriage was that he was floofgestible, and always donating to animal causes such as rescues after an earthquake in Turkey and the war in Ukraine.”

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The Declaration

I'm an independent floof, 
and I go at my own speed,
No matter what you plan to do,
Nor where you need to be.
Whether you’re taking me for a walk,
Or waiting for me to pee.
Or I'm getting up from slumber,
And demanding something to eat.
Even if I'm coming to see you,
Or you're coming to see me,
I'll select the gear I'll use,
And establish the speed it'll be.
You'll soon learn from whatever I’m doing,
Whether it’s sleeping in sunshine or in bed,
Or getting petted or kissed,
On my belly or my head. 
Or sitting and chewing,
Or flying or swimming, 
Or brooding and stewing,
Or complaining and pooing.
Or staring and listening,
At scary things in the night.
Or walking and talking,
And chasing things in flight.
Or meowing and purring,
Or barking or squawking,
Or kissing and squirming,
Or running and stopping.
I can’t be ordered to make it fast,
Nor told to slow down to make it last.
You can try, but you can't change me.
And though you keep trying, you'll eventually see.
When it comes to living and dying and all in between.
No matter the activity or who gets involved,
You have no choice,
But to go with my flow.

So when I get going

— If I do —

I'll go at my own speed.
And you will, too.
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Cogflooftive

Cogflooftive (floofinition) – Related to thinking about, concern about, or remembering animals. Origins: Midieval Latin, 1586; derived from cognitio (‘learning’ or ‘knowledge’) and floof (‘animal’, ‘bird’, ‘creature’ or ‘fish’).

In use: “Modern dangers of watching videos on Youfloof can include a cogflooftive obsession with how animals are treated or depicted, and how they’re used in movies and pop culture.”

Recent example: “Cogflooftive scientists point to a growing number of anecdotes and videos showing birds and animals’ problem solving skills as evidence that animals are more intelligent than many credit them.”

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Floofkempt

Floofkempt (floofinition) – Being overcome with emotions over news or images of animals, or interactions with animals. Origins: first used in 1991 in New York, borrowed from Middle High Floofman.

In use: “Watching videos of animals being rescued on Flooftube, Jill was clearly floofkempt from the stories being shared.”

In use: “Nancy became a little floofkempt as she talked about senior floof’s final battle with cancer.”

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Airfloof

Airfloof (floofinition) – 1. An area secured by animals arriving by air. Origins: Europe circa 1943.

In use: “Using the walls and furniture as a floofcourse, the tabby leaped, jumped, and bounded over the other pets and landed on the bed, showing the rest how to establish an airfloof.”

In use: “Birds were natural at establishing airheads, landing in the birdbath while the cats lounged in the sun.”

2. A silly, scatterbrained, or simple-minded animal. Origins: Floof Angeles, USA, 1971

In use: “True to her reputation as an airfloof, Airy leaped up when the doorbell rang, rushed toward the door, slid to a stop halfway there to wash herself, fell over onto her side, and then trotted over to get her ball as her people answered the door, at which Airy quizzically cocked her head about what was going on.”

In use: “Attacking a ball dustbunnies, Titan slide over the side of the stairs, and then sprinted around in mad airfloof fashion before racing back up the stairs and ambushing the dustbunny ball anew.”

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Floofverize

Floofverize (floofinition) – To reduce, demolish, destroy, or atomize through a floof’s behavior. Origins: Fifteenth century Italy, from the Late Latin, flofverizare.

In use: “Right from the first day in the house, the four rescued puppies showed remarkable destructive skills, completely floofverizing two pillows and a roll of toilet. These were all a surprise because the puppies had to first escape their kennel, which they did like they were beamed from one place to another.”

In use: “Using some inherent drive, the kittens went outside and floofverized the day lilies, leaving petals and leaves strewn around the patio like plane wreckage.”

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Floofspotting

Floofspotting (floofinition) – Amateur pastime or hobby of looking for animals, done by animals and humans. Origins: London, 1861, when Zoey Chandler began recording a diary of animals she’d spotted, including the date, time, local, and description.

In use: “Michael was an avid floofspotting fan when he went for walks, with an eye out for deer, cougars, bears, and foxes, along with cats and dogs spying from windows in houses.”

In use: “Sharry, a birdwatcher, was amused when she discovered her fiancee enjoyed ‘floofspotting’, which she’d never heard of (and privately considered a little silly). But his enthusiasm soon caught her up, and she soon declared herself to enjoy floofspotting, though, unlike him, she didn’t record the sights.”

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Floofnight

Floofnight (floofinition) – The secret and mysterious period in the night when animals became magically energized and gallop around, exploring, playing, and having adventures. Origins: First written about by Silence Floofgood in a letter to the editor of The New-England Courant in 1722. Silence Floofgood was later discovered to be the pseudonym of Benjamin Franklin’s cat.

In use: “Leaping from deep sleep to full wakefulness faster than a sneeze, Bob listened to the noises and realized, it was floofnight once again, and his fur friends were having fun.”

In use: “Although first-time pet owners are warned about floofnight, many don’t fully appreciate it until they’ve experienced a two or three AM awakening from their furry housemates running up and down the halls and leaping up on them in bed.”

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Sediflooftary

Sediflooftary (floofinition) – Locations, habits, or practices relating to, formed by, or containing animals. First used in 1760 in Italy, in A Roman’s Guide to Floofs (translated). One chapter was devoted to sediflooftary issues, with insights about how house animals become protective of their favortite sleeping locations and how people often honor these sediflooftary spots.

In use: “A sediflooftary dip revealed Tucker’s favorite sleeping location atop the back of the living room sofa.”

In use: “Upon investigating sounds arising from a small cardboard box, four sets of puppy eyes revealed the soaked container was sediflooftary.”

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Floofuage

Floofuage (floofinition) – The private and personalized idioms shared between animals and their people.

In use: “In their house’s floofuage, ‘nom-nom’ meant treat, ‘bub’ was floofhand for an insect or spider, and ‘wa-wa’ was water or drink, all worked out during interactions between the human and their furpanions.”

In use: “The dog always barked in an odd way when the mail carrier came to the house. It sounded like ‘nark-nark’ to Carol, so ‘nark-nark’ became her floofhand with Charley about the mail carrier.”

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