Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Complefloofrianism (floofinition) – Floofological view that animals have equal but different roles from humans in life. Origins: First used by The International Order of Floofs (TIOF) in 1988.
In Use: “As practitioners of complefloofrianism, Beth’s pets ignored her orders as they’d gotten together and elected one of their own, Beanie, as the house’s ruler, and limited Beth’s roles to cleaning and feeding duties.”
Flooeismic (floofinition) – Activities or events involving animals which have a widespread or significant impact. Origins: 1858, Greece
In Use: “When Coltrane and Etta finally made peace and slept together, it had a flooeismic impact on the household dynamics.”
In Use: “OR-7‘s journey as a gray wolf trekking through Oregon and into California had a flooeismic impact on popular culture at the time.”
Xenofloobia (floofinition) – A condition where an animal’s hatred or intense dislike about other animals causes them to behave aggressively. Origins: New Floofin, early 19th century. Related: Xenofloofic
In Use: “Many people owned by floofs with non-compete clauses to their living situation exhibit xenofloofbia, growling or issuing angry indignation at the trespasser through the window whenever any other creature enters their domain in any capacity.”
In Use: “Karen didn’t know the extent of her cat’s xenofloobia until the little critter met another cat at the door and launched a yowling charge.”
Floofumnavigate (floofinition) – 1. To go around an animal blocking a path. Origins: First use observed in England, late 1940s
In Use: “Most housefloofs scurry to safety when the vacuum cleaner or sweeper is powered up, but Onyx barely cracked open an eye, forcing Barb to floofumnavigate Onyx while cleaning.”
In Use: “Whenever meals were being prepared, Bishop planted his large body in the kitchen’s entrance to observe, forcing everyone to floofumnavigate the white dog’s mountain of a body.”
2. To follow an animal as though it is a guide.
In Use: “Floofumnavigating the yard behind Bailey was always fun and different as the dog zigzagged the landscape, nose down, sucking up smells and looking for sources.”
In Use: “Cookie was a superb mother, floofumnavigating the room as her kittens began their first waddling explorations under her unflinching vigil.”
Floofsize (floofinition) – To have something upended or knocked over by an animal. Origins: late 1890s, first noted in Mississippi.
In Use: “Karol the Terrorcat walked along the dresser, leaving floofsized bottles and items on the floor in her wake.”
In Use: “Galumpfh, originally named Wilson by the family’s youngest member, often floofsized furniture when he galloped through the house, shaking the floor with his floofnormous thunderpaws.”
Floofraiser (floofinition) – Actions, sounds, or activities which will draw an animal’s attention or make them move. Origins: Mid 1960s, modern Floofish, first reported use in western Pennsylvania.
In Use: “Many people quickly find that cans opening or a kibble rattle are sure floofraisers, with animals galloping to the source as soon as they hear the sound.”
In Use: “The vacuum cleaner was a floofraiser for Barney, causing the big dog to hustle to another room floof haste, but Stormy merely yawned and dared the roaring machine to come closer to her.”
Infloofuate (floofinition) – Behavior or attitude by or toward an animal filled marked by or filled with excessive, foolish, or extravagant admiration, love, or affection.
In Use: “Making biscuits whenever she jumped on Brenda’s lap, following her around and engaging in everything that Brenda did were just a few of the signs that Crystal was infloofuated wth Brenda.”
In Use: “Demonstrating how infloofuated she was with her new floof buddies, Carla built a huge catio and bought her boys a fancy litter box and several trees and beds.”
Hyfloofbole (floofinition) – Exaggerated or dramatic animal expressions or noises to demonstrate disappointment, outrage, or dismay. Origins: 2000, United States, via Floofernet.
In Use: “Many folks owned by animals are familiar with hyfloofbole their beloved floofies employ to highlight their dire situations, such as hitting an empty food bowl while whining, whimpering, or mewing.”
Infloofspitable (floofinition) – Place or activity which is unwelcoming for animals. Origins: North America, late 1960s.
In Use: “Worries about wolves have caused several states to make the world infloofspitable.”
Michael Seidel, writer 