Parfloofmonious(floofinition) – Unwilling to spend money on anything except items and food meant for animals.
In use: “Yes, she made money — she was an advertising agency creative director, winner of several awards (her team had won a Clio Award once – silver, but still), but she liked recycling (have you seen her recycled art?), bought used clothing, and was parfloofmonious to a fault, buying food for animal shelters and wild horse rescues, as well as keeping her own floofagerie well stocked with the best food, toys, blankets, and beds.”
This song, “Goodbye Stranger”, arrived in the stream after watching people at the coffee shop and on the streets, and inadvertently eavesdropping (they speak, I have ears…it happens).
A woman regularly brings her dog into the coffee shop. She usually sits back by the community table, where I like to work when I can. Her dog is often a cause for conversations with others. So I’ve learned that her dog is a rescue from an animal hoarding situation, that she’s had to work with him, that his name is Atlas, that he does much better now, but that other dogs’ barking makes him nervous, that he is her service dog. I’ve learned others had dogs like him, or saved from similar situations. He’s often compared to a Ridgeback but he isn’t one, not a true Ridgeback, she says.
But I’ve never heard her name, or why she needs a service dog, nor why she is bald. She wears dark glasses, but she watches people, back from her space by the wall, with her service dog beside her…
I’ve decided that I don’t want coffee shop friendships. I’m there to work. Cruel of me, innit? So I keep myself to myself, but as I leave each time, I feel her eyes watch me, and imagine I turn my head and say, “Goodbye, stranger.”
But I don’t. It has caused the 1979 Supertramp song to find itself in my stream.
Pissfloof (floofinition) – An animal who seems perpetually irritated without apparent cause.
In use: “Always growling and hissing — just walk by him, or make a noise — and threatening the dog and other cats with claws or a nip earned him the nickname Pissfloof (although she never called him that to his whiskers). But when he was sleeping, he looked so sweet (which was why she’d originally named him Prince Charming).”
“The Power Floof”(floofinition) – British-American superfloof group. Comprised of members of previous bands on hiatus, The Power Floof performed together for two years, releasing two albums during that period.
In use: “Although they had disbanded, The Power Floof still sometimes tour and put on concerts, arousing floofs with hits such as “Some Like A Lap”.”
Party Floof (floofinition) – An animal who enjoys having a good time, especially by attending celebrations, a.k.a., party animal.
In use: “Whenever visitors arrived, Mr. Marbles rose, stretched, and joined the company, sniffing (as proper for these events), barking when they laughed, and generally emerging from his shell, transforming into a party floof.”
Floofcists(floofinition) – An advocate or follower of the floofcism political philosophy or system.
In use: “Gaining more popularity, floofcists often protest that they’re misunderstood, insisting that their beliefs that animals deserve a seat at the same table of deliberations as humans isn’t just about what’s being eaten.”
Floof Zeppelin (floofinition) – Formed in the early part of the nineteenth century, Floof Zeppelin were an English floof band known for their heavy guitar-driven sound and mystical lyrics.
In use: “Although disbanding and ending as a musical group after several members crossed the rainbow bridge and returned to their home dimension, Floof Zeppelin’s hits, such as “Whole Lotta Fur”, “Scratching Post”, and “Treats for Dinner”, continue to appeal to legions of floofs.”
“Floof Prairie League” (floofinition) – Country-floof rock band whose origins go back to Yellow Springs, Ohio.
In use: “Floof Prairie League’s song, “Floofie” (1970), is about a cat, Floofie, who keeps going in and out of the house, frustrating its friend, a dog:
“I keep going in and out of the house with you, in and out of the house with you, don’t know what I’m gonna do, I keep going in and out of the house with you.”
Michael Seidel, writer 