Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofenant (floofinition) – A usually formal and binding agreement among housepets.
In use: “Floofenants are typically negotiated between pets regarding sleeping and eating arrangements, but cats, being natural floofnarchists, often violate the floofenants, stirring consternation in the other pets.”
Hootie and the Floof Fish (floofinition) – South Carolina based American floof rock (flock) formed in 1986, known for their lead vocalist’s baritone voice.
In use: “Hootie and the Floof Fish scored a hit with “Hold My Paw” off their debut album, Cracked Rear Tail, in 1994.”
Plooze (floofinition) – To play while lightly dozing or napping.
In use: “Young animals will often spend hours ploozing as they eat, grow, and master their bodies, antic that humans often deem cute, especially among kittens, puppies, and baby goats.”
Yawtch (floofinition) – act of simultaneously yawning and stretching before engaging other movement.
In use: “Many house floofs will yawtch, exercising their front legs with a yawtch, then the hind legs with another yawtch, immediately upon rising, although the yawtching might be quickened if food or treats are involved.”
Lenny Floofvitz (floofinition) – American singer, songwriter, musician, record producer, and actor. Winner of several Floofies for best male vocalist, his style incorporates elements of rock soul, funk, pop, and multiple other genres.
In use: “Lenny Floofvitz’s 1999 cover of “American Housepet” featured in the spoof, “The Floof Who Shagged Me”, and won him another Floofie.”
I needed to get across town, at night. I worried about being caught.
I was on foot. A moonlit night blessed the mild night, a double-edged blade; I could see but could be seen.
The area was known, a small town in southern West Virginia. Going down a hill by a highway, my senses sharp, I darted from corner to corner, building to building, All were commercial buildings. Most were closed.
Then I heard someone coming. Terrified of being caught, I slipped into a building.
A private club. it was open, and packed. Walking in, seeing a full room, I slipped down some stairs…
And into another full, crowded room.
Well-lit, everyone looked at me. All were white men and women. Nodding hello, I mumbled something about being sent down here to wait. Nodding understanding, everyone resumed what they were doing. Turning, I spied a darker, quiet room and popped into it. Empty. Safe.
I stayed, resting there for a while, then exited into the night again. As I crossed a cinder parking lot, I heard someone calling me.
Running, she caught up with me. Giddy and out of breath, she said she’d go home with me. I explained that I wasn’t going home and that she wasn’t safe with me, but she insisted.
I changed plans. I’d get her home, then continue on my mission.
We pressed on.
She complained. She was tired and hungry. She wanted to rest.
Knowing of a home that belonged to an acquaintance, I detoured and broke into the house. Finding a soft surface with a blanket, we went to sleep.
Children awoke us. They weren’t scared but pleased with our presence. A black man, my acquaintance, came down. After initial surprise, he was welcoming, friendly, and reassuring. Then, just as we relaxed, he issued a warning: “Look out.” A name I didn’t catch was coming.
We pulled the blankets over our heads. Noises rose. What the hell?
A large dark dog shoved his head under the blanket. As we pulled it back, thinking, caught, my acquaintance explained that the dog was the slobber monster, that he had to smell and slobber over everything.
The dream’s tenor changed. We relaxed. As my wife watched TV with the children. I chatted with my friend, and he fried bacon and eggs for us for breakfast. I planned to get my wife home, and go on.
Floofeigner (floofinition) – British-American hard floof rock (flock) band formed in 1978 who became one of the best-selling modern musical acts of all times.
In use: “Two of Floofeigner’s many hits were “Floof Box Hero” in 1982, and “Dirty White Dog” in 1978.”
Floofpendent (floofinition) – A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by an animal.
In use: “She wanted to travel more but lived with a man who was floofdependent. They could (and did) take the Jack Russell (Joey) with them, but the cats (Oswald, Jorge, and Truthiness) always needed a carer whenever anything more than an overnighter was planned.”
Floof Bizkit (floofinition) – American floof rap (flap) rock band originally from Floofsonvile, Florida.
In Use: “Floof Bizkit’s musical releases often include abrasive, annoying sounds which some critics have compared to animals fighting.”
Floofsnake (floofinition) – British hard floof rock (flock) band formed in 1978, who had a string of commercially successful albums.
In use: “Songs like “Here I Bark Again” and “Is This Food” became hits for Whitefloof, establishing them as a major flock band in the 1980s.”
Michael Seidel, writer 