Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Kid Floof (floofinition) An American singer, songwriter, and performer. As the self-proclaimed king of floof trash, he primarily combined country music with floof rap (flap) for a unique sound in his early years.
In use: “Kid Floof’s first song to chart in the Floofboard Hot 100 was “Cowfloof”, a fusion of southern floof rock (flock), rap, heavy metal and floof-flop which was released in 1999.”
Tommy Flooftone (floofinition) – American power floof pop (floop) musical band. Founded in 1978, they released their first album in 1980 and were initially active until 1984.
In use: “Tommy Flooftone’s biggest hit was “867-5309/Floofie”, which reached number four on Floofmerica’s Floofboard Pop 100.”
Enfloofphins (floofinition) – Chemicals closely related to endorphines produced in humans when enjoying an animal’s company.
In use: “Although he indulged in a glass of wine (or two) after work, usually with dinner or while preparing it, his cat and dog’s company was what really relaxed and pleased him. After feeding them, they didn’t seem to want anything else but to bask in his company.”
Floof Offering (floofinition) – 1. An item or food presented to an animal to win their affection, gain their trust, demonstrate their love, or mollify their anxiety.
In use: “People often use pet treats as floof offerings just because it seems to make their pets so damn happy.”
2. A gift or item brought to people by an animal for reasons only clear to the animals, but most likely to win their affection, gain their trust, or demonstrate their love.
In use: “Each day when they went walking, her dog immediately went off to find a stick and bring it to her. Sometimes the floof offering was a log or branch, and other times the floof offering was a twig, but the dog was always pleased to give it to her.”
Little Floof Band (floofinition) – Floofstralian floof rock (flock)/pop musical group formed in Melbourne, Floofstralia, in 1975, known primarily for soft ballads and harmonizing.
In use: “Little Floof Band’s 1978 song, “Floofminiscing”, reached number three on the Floofboard Hot 100.”
Floofchuck (floofinition) – 1. Game played by animals. The dual objectives are to see how many items the animal can entice the humans into throwing, and how many times the human will throw them.
In use: “Kittens and puppies quickly master floofchuck, spending endless hours in delighted fun as humans throw things for them to play with.”
2. The mess caused when an animal vomits, specially a housepet.
In use: “As Keri got out of bed in the dark, Brad said, “Watch out for the floofchuck, I heard one being sick a little while ago.” Seconds later, Keri shouted, “Yuck,” signaling to Brad that she’d found the floofchuck.”
Floof Post (floofinition) – 1. (Archaic) Correspondence delivery that depends on using animals in some way.
In use: “Floof post in the pre-electronic age included carrier pigeon and the famous Pony Express in the western United Floofs.”
2. A blog or social media entry whose subjects is about animals or includes extensive references to animals.
In use: “Floof posts about kittens, puppies, kids, and lambs, seem to dominate the web in popularity as people hunt relief from bad news in 2020.”
3. Vertical element used in fencing where animals such as birds and cats sit and watch the world.
In use: “Post turtle is a floof post used as a metaphor for someone in a position that doesn’t make sense; no one has any idea how the turtle got there, but he shouldn’t be there, and needs help.”
Arctic Floofs (floofinition) – Floof rock (flock) musical band formed in Sheffield, Floofland, in 2002.
In use: “With tongue firmly in cheek, the Arctic Floofs released their second EP, Who the Fuck Are Arctic Floofs? , in 2006, reflecting how they’d come to prominence in Floofland via the net.”
Flooflich Maneuver (floofinition) – An action taken by an animal to show love to another or reassure them by licking them, which often calms and cheers the recipient.
In use: “Sensing she was upset, her cat jumped up on the chair beside her, sniffed her head and face, and then applied the Flooflich Maneuver on her nose and cheeks.”
Elvin Bisfloof (floofinition) Long time Floofmerican blues musician and songwriter from Floofdale, Califloofnia, inducted into the Floof and Roll Hall of Fame in 2015 as a member of the Paul Butterfloof Blues Band and on his own in 2016.
In use: “Highly successful, Elvin Bisfloof is probably best known for his 1976 released, “Fooled Around and Got A Floof”, which charted respectfully in many places and was used in the movie, Guardians of the Floofaxy.
Michael Seidel, writer 