Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Stereofloofic (floofinition) – Sound received from two or more disparate animals sources. When four sources exist, the sound is commonly referred to as quadrafloofic while source from one animal is known as monofloofic.
In use: “With a cat purring on either side of his head, Michael was treated to a stereofloofic session as he drifted back to sleep.”
Floofposter (floofinition) – Someone who writes or shares information about animals on the web.
In use: “With all the dispiriting news about pandemics, wars, fires, flooding, hurricanes, droughts, and politics, many people are drawn to floofposter sits where information is shared about animals demonstrating love and intelligence across the lines of species.”
Floofpitulate (floofinition) – To give in to an animal or to accept an animal’s choice or decision.
In use: “He wanted to get up but the cat wanted to remain in his lap, so he floofpitulated and took a nap.”
Unfloofgivable (floofinition) – 1. An animal that can’t be given away.
In use: “They called the puppy, part of a litter of rescued orphans, Smuckers, a name given by their youngest boy. He was supposed to be fostered, but Smuckers turned out to be unfloofgivable, remaining with the family for his life.”
2. An action or behavior toward an animal that can’t be accepted or tolerated.
In use: “As the Internet reveals videos of despicable treatment of animals, more activities once accepted as routine or normal, such as puppy mills, are now being blasted as unfloofgivable.”
3. Action by a human, especially a pet owner, deemed unacceptable by a pet.
In use: “The cat wanted bacon and wasn’t given any, unfloofgivable to her. In retaliation, she walked about, jumping up onto floofboten counters, knocking things off, nipping at ankles when people passed, and loudly meowing in complaint.”
Lollapafloofza (floofinition) – Four day private festival of animals, for animals.
In use: “Cats and dogs often disappear for a day or two during Lollapafloofza, worrying pet owners, but they generally safely return, leaving the owners to wonder where their pets have been.”
Floofshaming (floofinition) – Behavior used or looks given by an animal that makes people, especially pet owners, feel ashamed or guilty.
In use: “As she sat and ate her sandwich, not even offering Brutus a sniff, the Maine Coon sat there with a floofshaming expression that caused her to turn away so she couldn’t see him.”
Floofbitis (floofinition) – Faked illness brought on by an animal’s behavior.
In use: “She called her friend and told her that she couldn’t go out because she had a flare of floofbitis. After disconnecting, she scratched her dog’s head as he slept on her lap, nibbled a piece of gouda, sipped a little Merlot, and resumed reading the latest Louise Penney novel.”
Dynfloofsy (floofinition) – Powerful group or family of animals that maintains a prominent position for a considerable time.
In use: “Although they had three large male dogs and two large male cats, Jade and her female successors established a dynfloofsy, decreeing they controlled laps, food bowls, and the best sleeping places. Just a look from one of them enforced their royal edicts.”
Sisyfloofean (floofinition) – Task involving an animal requiring continual and often ineffective effort.
In use: “She always railed against where the cats should not be — the kitchen counters, the dining room table, the living room sofa and chairs — but keeping them off of these floofboten areas was a Sisyfloofean challenge.”
Baby, I’m thunderfoot
Always underfoot
making it hard for you to
move your foot
loving your foot
sleeping on your foot
licking your toes and
biting your foot
leaving drool on your foot
and chasing your foot
making you dance to keep me
from your foot
cause I’m thunderfoot
always underfoot
just another playful
floofy foot
Michael Seidel, writer 