Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Barkalounger (floofinition) – Place where a dog enjoys relaxing.
In use: “The sofa was the dogs’ favorite barkalounger, gathering on it quickly when it became available, jockeying for the best spot, but the cat often beat them there, and nobody messed with the Queen.”
Legerdefloof (floofinition) – An adroit display of skill or cleverness by an animal.
In use: “Employing legerdefloof with teeth and paws, the golden retriever unwrapped his leash from where it was tied to keep him wandering, and then went over, did the same with his companion’s leash, freeing the two to take off and explore the park.”
“Snow is really coming down now.”
“Yep, it’s really falling.”
That’s how my wife and I talk about the snow. We’re both in our sixties and learned these sharp-edged snow statements from our parents and every other adult we were around in childhood. We’re not alone. If I say one of those statements to friends my age and above, they’ll respond with the other. Like we’re programmed.
It’s Saturday, March 4, 2023. The snow is really falling. As opposed to? Not really falling? It’s 34 F out there. Volume builds up, turning Ashlandia’s Clay Street neighborhood white. But soon as volume diminishes by a flake, it all melts away. Can’t say what’s happening in the rest of the town. I checked the cameras. We have one at the plaza downtown, 2.4 miles north. Snowing there, but not ‘sticking’, to use the meteorological term. Also surveyed the I5 cameras with the town’s exits. Traffic is thin and moving. No one in the chain-up areas. Supposed to snow most of the day, except when it’s raining. High temperature will be 42 F. As you might guess, the sun is as scarce as a Democrat at a Trump rally. White clouds rule.
Sunrise surprised us — not — we were ready — at 6:41 this morning. Daylight’s end arrives shortly after the sun’s departure at 6:04 PM.
The Neurons have Melissa Manchester singing her cover of “Don’t Cry Out Loud”, 1978, in the morning mental music stream. It’s one of two songs playing, taking turns with grave politeness. Other one is “View to A Kill”, Duran Duran, 1985. It’s all about the night’s dreams.
Stay pos. and watch out where the huskies go. My coffee is at hand, reinforcing my low energy levels. Here we go. Time to start the Saturday circus.
Here’s Melissa. Have a strong day. Cheers
Flooformation (floofinition) – 1. Animal’s ability to change its look, attitude, or behavior.
In use: “Crystal was a sweet little Bombay black with a softly questioning meow, a deeply happy purr, and the most gorgeous black velvet fur. She loved sleeping on laps, but the first sound of an animal fight brought a flooformation into baleful-eyed ninja cat, terrifying other animals — and humans who got in her way.”
2. A change to an animal brought about by care, patience, and/or medical assistance.
In use: “His first years in the neighborhood, Tucker was identified as a black and white terror, a beast unwilling to back down and eager to bring it on. Dental work, patient words, and a home to call his, and his flooformation into a doting lap cat began.”
3. The standard pecking order or line up shared by animals.
In use: “When Michael took the cats for a walk at night — his three, with the neighbor’s big orange cat joining them — they always used the same flooformation, Jade on point, Rocky and Sammy flanking her, and the neighbor cat finishing the diamond as a rear guard. With Michael setting the pace and direction, the five moved as one.”
YouFloof (floofinition) – Social media site where animals post videos predominantly featuring humans acting silly, being sweet, or featuring stories of animals saving humans. Some videos of humans being cruel are also shared as a learning experience.
In use: “A popular YouFloof video depicts a team of humans working together to rescue stranded kittens. Many animals remark in the comments that such behavior restores their faith in humans.”
Floofabration (floofinition) – An animal’s activity to mark something by festivities or other deviation from routine.
In use: “After capturing a mouse and releasing it in the house, the cat began a floofabration, singing at the top of its lungs, “All praise the mighty hunter and the presents which he brings you, come see, come see, come see,” even though it was oh heavy snoring in the morning.”
Nofloofphobia (floofinition) – When someone suffers fear or anxiety about not having the company of an animal.
In use: “The worse part of vacations was not being with his fur pals. Nofloofphobia inevitably struck as he worried about them being okay and missed their sweet interactions with him and one another.”
The floof spoke.
The man regarded the animal. “You want to go back out? You sure?”
The floof replied.
The man stood and followed the animal. “Alright, if that’s what you want.”
The animal veered to the kitchen and headed for the sink.
“Oh, you want water.” He filled the animal’s glass.
Water. Outside. The two words sound so similar in flooflish. It’s easy to mix them up.
Michael Seidel, writer 