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Floofsical (floofinition) – a housepet’s unusual behavior or appearance, especially in an appealing and amusing way; a play or movie strongly featuring housepets in central roles.
In use: “Homeward Bound: the Incredible Journey is a well-known 1993 floofsical that featured a cat and two dogs in a remake of the 1963 movie.”
Floofare (floofinition) – a short and showy blast of trumpets, often imaginary, that accompanies a housepet’s entrance; a housepet’s showy outward display.
In use: “Whenever the door opened and his name was called, the puppy galloped in, and around the room, putting on such a display that all could hear the floofare announcing his entrance.”
Inflooftory (floofinition) – process for to account for or count pets and other animals.
In use: “An inflooftory was conducted each evening to ensure all the animals were safe and fed. Fortunately all held to habits that shortened the time and effort to locate the dogs, cats, birds, reptiles, and the goat.”
Panfloofism (floofinition) – the belief that housepets have consciousiness, intelligence, and rights equal to humans.
In use: “Her panfloofism kept her from marrying for several years because she simply couldn’t tolerate anyone who thought of cats, dogs, and other animals as dumb beasts.”
Floof-toll (floofinition) – a tax or fee paid to housepets for some liberty or privilege; compensation paid by housepets for services such as feeding, treats, and fresh water.”
In use: “The rescue was his first dog but he soon realized that floof-tolls were attached to everything. Whenever he stood still or sat, the dog came, sat on his foot, and looked up at him in adoration. In return, the dog warned him whenever a pedestrian, car, or another animal approached the house. Both enjoyed the other, and the floof-tolls, such as a scratch around the ears or a treat, were tiny tokens for the shared joy.”
Transfloofdental (floofinition) – the ability to ignore what’s going on or what will happen with your housepets and get things done.
In use: “The cats and dogs were all sleeping, but she had no choice. Determined to be transfloofdental, she turned on the vacuum and began hoovering.”
Yardfloof (floofinition) – a pet who prefers to stay in the yard outside.
In use: “Although it was cold and snowy, Emmie remained outside, refusing invitations to come into the warm house. A dedicated yardfloof, the little tortie forced Gemma to construct a stouter home to keep her warm and safe during the blizzards.”
Floofstakes (floofinition) – potential outcome for housepets; in jeopardy for being a positive or negative result for a pet.
In use: “He hated taking his fur friends to the vet. Too often, the floofstakes weren’t good, beginning the slide down a long hill he’d gone down too many times.”
Floofkanda (floofinition) – An isolated region where housepets roam in safety and happiness while learning about the secrets of the universe.
In use: “Many people think their pets die, but in reality, they’ve found the bridge to Floofkanda. Although they love their bipedal friends, a natural imperative forces them to cross the bridge and reach Floofkanda.”
Gadfloof (floofinition) – a housepet who provokes others into action by criticism.
In use: “A true gadfloof, Raven beckoned Suzo forth with mews and glances until Suzo followed her. When they stopped, Raven sat down in front of the litter box. She looked at Suzo and then dolefully looked at the box. Suzo looked at Raven. Raven looked at the box again and Suzo realized it needed to be cleaned.”
Michael Seidel, writer 