Category: catfinition

Adflooficate

Adflooficate (floofinition) – to make an official decision about who is right in a dispute between two or more housepets.

In use: “The household’s sole feline, a small, older female, was involved in almost every dispute that he had to adflooficate. Disputes usually involved food, toys, or a warm place to sleep. No matter what he decided, it seemed like the cat always won. Whether the dispute was between the human and the cat over a chair or between the dogs and the cat over the bed, she always seemed to win.”

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Floofspot

Floofspot (floofinition) – 1. place on human bodies that pets like to rub. Floofologists theorize that many cats and dogs believe that rubbing a specific spot on a human will grant them complete control over the human’s activities, a practice first documented in ancient Flooflandia. 2. place on pets that humans like to rub because their pets seem to like it. 3. Specific location known as habitual sleeping, ambush, or lurking locations used by housepets.

In use: “As soon as he walked into view, the cats raced to his legs, rubbing against his calves, knees, and ankles in search of his floofspot, as their mother had taught them.”

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Flooflandia

Flooflandia (floofinition) – ancient continent where animals ruled and lived in harmony. Floofologists disagree as to whether Flooflandia is mythological or was real. Recent theories hold that Flooflandia exists but requires quantum powers and knowledge that only animals possess to reach it.

In use: “They say that in Flooflandia, no animal is an orphan, for another animal will find it and take care of it as its mother.”

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Pairafloofs

Pairafloof (floofinition) – two housepets.

In use: “The pairafloofs occupied the sofa when he came in to watch television, forcing him to sit down his bowl of popcorn and drink to clear a space. As soon as he sat, the pairafloofs were putting their heads into the popcorn to get their share.”

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Transfloof

Transfloof (floofinition) – a housepet who behaves as though they’re another species.

In use: “It was altogether a strange house, full of tranfloofs. A black cat hung around with the dogs, acting like them, while a miniature poodle preferred the cats’ company, doing everything they did, and doing a strange yipping meow. As icing on the situation, the bird barked, meowed, mooed, and talked like the humans. It was altogether chaotic, but funny.”

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Prefloofeve

Prefloofeve (floofinition) – personal holiday many people celebrate on the night before they’re getting a new housepet.

In use: “She couldn’t sleep on prefloofeve, too excited about the impending trip to the shelter tomorrow to find the right pet and bring them home.”

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Flooflorn

Flooflorn (floofinition) – bereft of housepet(s); experiencing unrequited love with a housepet.

In use: “She decided that instead of staying flooflorn, she would foster cats and dogs, and kittens and puppies, and outfitted a room for that purpose.”

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Floof Lane

Floof Lane (floofinition) – the path formed or blocked by resting housepets.

In use: “Weaving around the cats and dog blocking his path between his office and the kitchen — because the animals do not move except to look at you, oh, no, you must go around them or step over them — he couldn’t resist singing, “Life in the floof lane, guaranteed to trip you up, life in the floof lane, uh huh.”

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Floofpera

Floofpera (floofinition) – a dramatic work in one or more acts featuring housepets, sometimes written by humans, but often improvised by pets.

In use: “A single barking voice interrupted Miguel’s sleep. The solo was soon a furious duet. Wondering what’d energized his mutts, he rolled out of bed and staggered down the hall to check the floofpera. It was usually the big squirrel or the neighbor’s big tuxedo cat, but sometimes it was people.”

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Floofmagem

Floofmagem (floofinition) – a showy housepet, often with very fluffy, shiny fur, and not infrequently further decorated by bows or ribbons.

In use: “A true floofmagem, the long-haired amber cat with a black face and jade eyes sported flowing, long fur so evenly distributed that it could have been styled. A sparking collar that matched her eyes peeked out from the fur. What really sold her floofmagem image was her languid pose. Eyes partially closed, she looked like a graceful ruler at rest.”

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