Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Bathofloof (floofinition) – An animal, usually a housepet, which encroaches on people when they’re in the bathroom.
In use: “Barney the Beagle was adverse to closed doors in a house but the big ol’ bathfloof always unleashed a storm of howls when one of his people closed the bathroom door on him.”
Genufloof (floofinition) 1. Gestures, sounds, and postures used to earn an animal’s trust.
In use: “Feral or near feral young animals often distrust humans because they don’t know them, so humans will genufloof by lowering themselves, trying to make themselves smaller, while speaking softly and holding out a non-threatening hand.”
2. A posturing system for exchanging greetings shared by animals with humans.
In use: “Whenever Michael and Papi encountered one another, they genufloofed, Papi by first stretching his front legs and then his back legs in long, leisurely moments, and Michael, by squatting down, saying, “Hello,” offering a kissing noise, and holding out a few fingers for the cat to rub against.”
Kinefloofics (floofinitions) – The branch of floofatics concerned with floof activity and motion without reference to the causal forces.
In use: “When a new floof comes around — either as a casual visitor to the property or introduced as a new floofhold member — it’s natural for the other floofs as well as the humans to apply kinefloofics to understand what the new booger is like.” – Excerpt from “Once Upon A Floof; The Relationships Between Humans and Animals”
Acflooftion (floofinition) – the process of adding animals or materials associated with animals, such as food, toys, and furniture, to a location.
In use: “With one floof, little sign of acflooftion is usually noticed, but as more animals join the household, acflooftion accelerates, with more food and water bowls seen, along with toys, pet doors, and things like beds.”
Floofnoulli’s Principle (floofinition) – A principle of floof culture which states that the increase in a human’s stealthiness when they’re preparing, getting, or consuming food directly relates to its tastiness or desirability, and a floof must therefore use more energy to try to get their share of the food as quickly as possible.
In use: “Although apparently asleep, Daisy heard the subtle kitchen sounds. Instantly recalling Floofnoulli’s Principle, she leaped from sleeping position to dead run, sliding to a stop in the kitchen in front of Lisa, who was just about to eat a potato chip.”
Parroof (floofinition) – ‘Parrot Floof’: an animal or bird which enjoys resting on people’s shoulders.
In use: “Barry became known as Parrot, because the parroof was always seeking to rest himself on Klein’s shoulder, which wasn’t bad when Barry was a puppy barely larger than Klein’s hand, but more daunting when the Tibetan Mastiff achieved his full growth.”
We got you Wednesday here. *wince*. July 5, 2023. Back to work, ye scurvy dogs. 2023 is more than half gone. On the bright side, you have less than half left. *wince* Time is running up on you. You, me, and the rest.
Gonna be 97 F today. *wince*. Good thing it’s Wednesday. Meeting with friends to indulge in some cold beer. We’ve divided between the light and the dark sides. The light side will be partaking of an IPA while the dark side is going for ale, because it’s summer, and some of them don’t like their beer too dark in the summer.
Ah, such strange dreams this morning in the dark hours. *wince*. Don’t know what they meant, if anything. We had root beer floats with friends on their deck last night, another of our traditions. We usually watch fireworks with them. I’d rather not have the fireworks. Animals and environment don’t need that kind.
Fireworks were illegal this year in Ashlandia, where the bus doesn’t go all the way uptown and the children are chauffeured. Too dry and hot. Still beset by drought. Yet, there will be some who will set off their fireworks cause, ‘Merica. Freedom. Tucker didn’t mind them. Papi, though, hid out for hours. He’s okay this morning but he wasn’t a happy floofy last night.
Today’s music is “Stranger Blues” with Steve Miller and Peter Frampton. Just cause I like the sound, and not because of something said last night, causing The Neurons to start playing it, where it still plays in the morning mental music stream.
Stay pos, be chill, and don’t let the boogerheads get you down. Coffee is served, sir. Here’s the music. Enjoy, please.
Cheers
She: “I need to wash those front windows. The cats got fingerprints all over them.”
He, who might take things too literally: “Fingerprints. Really?”
I dreamed I was traveling through space. My house and its lot had been lifted away from the Earth, and there we went, soundlessly zooming through space. After thinking in the dream, is that what’s happening, I was given a distant perspective that confirmed, yep, there I go, with the house, wife, cats, and yard.
I pointed it all to my wife, calling to her as she did something in another room. All I had no idea what our destination was and had questions — was I onboard a larger ship, and who launched us like this — I enjoyed being out there. I was exactly as I now am, as was my house and yard. I saw this from a temporary external position, as though I needed to see it, before returning into my body. Settling behind my desk in my home office, I resumed my typing.
I awoke abruptly. In panic, I thought, where are the cats? Where are Tucker and Papi? Did I put them out? OMG, did I put them out in space? But if I put them out into the yard, wouldn’t they be safe, because it’s — it’s — wait.
Confusion mounting and taking over, I stumbled away from bed, thinking, where am I now? What should I do? If I open the door, would it — what would happen? But —
I’d been in space. But wasn’t that a dream? Or was I now dreaming? Neurons regrouping, we agreed with a laugh, being in space was the dream. Reality was that I was home, securely part of the Earth. But I went out and found the cats, ensuring they were really okay, just in case, you know, and then gazed up at the stars and moon for a few seconds with recollection of the dream.
Michael Seidel, writer 