Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Catansy (catfinition) – a cat’s faculty or activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable.
In use: “Michael used to think that Papi avoided the door mats because of his eyesight. Then he began suspecting that the cat had a catansy that the doormats were lava pits or some other threat that must be circumvented. Lately, though, Papi’s behavior changed Michael’s thinking, and he started wondering if Papi avoided the mats because they were quantum traps.”
Unifloofal (floofinition) – the presence of housepets occurring everywhere; a term that encompasses every housepet.
In use: “Pets are unifloofal in some neighborhoods, with a cat or dog visible in a yard or window, with unknown others such as birds and fish out of sight in the house.”
I was in bed, in the overlap between being awake and asleep. Still hazy with fever, I felt a cat land on the bed. Quick, light steps followed.
If it’d been Tucker coming, the steps would have been slower and plodding. Boo’s bed approach is light but slow. No, this had to be Papi.
Feeling the steps stop by my head, I opened my eyes and looked left. The sweet ginger boy was studying my face. I put a hand out toward him. He began purring and rubbing his head against my fingertips.
In response, I sang in a soft whisper, “Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself one of the family.”
Yes, it was “Consider Yourself” from Oliver!, the film, because I’ve never seen the live stage production, from 1968.
I don’t know why my stream pulled it up yesterday. Like a few other people — the movie took best picture and other awards — several scenes and songs remain memorable to me, like “Pick A Pocket or Two” and “Food, Glorious Food”,which sometimes is sung as, “Floof, glorious floof. Long tails and whiskers.”
So, consider yourself to have a theme music suggestion.
Floofsical (floofinition) – a housepet’s unusual behavior or appearance, especially in an appealing and amusing way; a play or movie strongly featuring housepets in central roles.
In use: “Homeward Bound: the Incredible Journey is a well-known 1993 floofsical that featured a cat and two dogs in a remake of the 1963 movie.”
Floofare (floofinition) – a short and showy blast of trumpets, often imaginary, that accompanies a housepet’s entrance; a housepet’s showy outward display.
In use: “Whenever the door opened and his name was called, the puppy galloped in, and around the room, putting on such a display that all could hear the floofare announcing his entrance.”
Inflooftory (floofinition) – process for to account for or count pets and other animals.
In use: “An inflooftory was conducted each evening to ensure all the animals were safe and fed. Fortunately all held to habits that shortened the time and effort to locate the dogs, cats, birds, reptiles, and the goat.”
Panfloofism (floofinition) – the belief that housepets have consciousiness, intelligence, and rights equal to humans.
In use: “Her panfloofism kept her from marrying for several years because she simply couldn’t tolerate anyone who thought of cats, dogs, and other animals as dumb beasts.”
Floof-toll (floofinition) – a tax or fee paid to housepets for some liberty or privilege; compensation paid by housepets for services such as feeding, treats, and fresh water.”
In use: “The rescue was his first dog but he soon realized that floof-tolls were attached to everything. Whenever he stood still or sat, the dog came, sat on his foot, and looked up at him in adoration. In return, the dog warned him whenever a pedestrian, car, or another animal approached the house. Both enjoyed the other, and the floof-tolls, such as a scratch around the ears or a treat, were tiny tokens for the shared joy.”
Transfloofdental (floofinition) – the ability to ignore what’s going on or what will happen with your housepets and get things done.
In use: “The cats and dogs were all sleeping, but she had no choice. Determined to be transfloofdental, she turned on the vacuum and began hoovering.”
Yardfloof (floofinition) – a pet who prefers to stay in the yard outside.
In use: “Although it was cold and snowy, Emmie remained outside, refusing invitations to come into the warm house. A dedicated yardfloof, the little tortie forced Gemma to construct a stouter home to keep her warm and safe during the blizzards.”
Michael Seidel, writer 