Category: Cat

Saturday’s Theme Music

Today’s song came by way of a cat. He went out through the pet door from the MBR, crossed the patio, came in through the living room side door, and then walked around behind me, greeting me as I came down the hall from the MBR.

Whipping my head back, I asked, “How did you get here so fast?”

He flicked his tail once and sat.

I nodded. “Everything you do is magic.” I knew, of course, that it wasn’t magic, but quantum walking. Cats are adept at walking through universes from one to another, turning up at odd times and places.

That simple phrase, though, invited the stream to begin “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” (The Police, 1981).

I need to watch what I say.

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Floofsuasive

Floofsuasive (floofinition) – Sound, expressions, and behavior that pets employ to gain attention and move others to give them things such as food, treats, and attention.

In use: “One cat employs a sad, drawn out meow that really conveys his deep levels of suffering and deprivation, a combination that’s always floofsuasive.”

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Zorofloof

Zorofloof (floofinition) – Pets who are manifestations of a supreme deity that come into being to deliver progressively deeper and more insightful knowledge about reality’s nature to Earth’s inhabitants.

In use: “She couldn’t explain it, but her cat’s presence calmed her while enabling deeper thinking and sharper, clearer memories. When she mentioned this to a friend, he smiled. “Zorofloof.” His expression, tone, and soft volume reflected the introduction to something more enigmatic.”

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Floofeyes

Floofeyes (floofinition) – A sad, pleading look housepets employ to manipulate people.

In use: “No treats was the rule, but Titus would turn his floofeyes on her. Sighing, she’d say, “Okay, but just one,” but with those floofeyes, he always got three.”

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Stimflooflus

Stimflooflus (floofinition) – 1. Something done by a pet or animal that rouses or incites to activity, such as howls, growls, yowls, meows, and barks, or running. 2. Activity, sound, or command that rouses or incites an animal’s actions.

In use: “A howl was followed by frantic barking, stimflooflus to her getting out of bed, because Lennon was warning her, someone is coming to the door.”

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For Her

The house was always silent except for his quiet and her cats. He was aware of how much he sighed, and the cats…the cats were always darting underfoot, jumping up onto the furniture, counters, and tables, and peering around corners.

Flowers and plants were everywhere. He’d told everyone to send money to her causes in lieu of flowers and that shit, but…well, here they were. Here he was.

She was always trying to get him to eat healthy. The ‘frig was lousy with salmon and salad ingredients. Sighing (but what else?), he prepared the salmon per the instructions, sharing some with the cats, who were enthusiastic in their enjoyment, and made a salmon Caesar salad and poured a glass of wine for himself. Eating, he told himself, for her, chewing and swallowing the despised flavors, washing it down with wine.

For her.

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Floof Message

Floof Message (floofinition) – texts or emails whose subject center around housepets.

In use: “When she was away, her Mom would line up Cricket and Ellie, take a photo of them, and floof message her daughter the photo with a humorous caption, usually about the dogs wanting Rachel’s return so they could be properly fed.”

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Telefloofic

Telefloofic (floofinition) – a pet with an appearance and manner that are markedly attractive to television viewers.

In use: “Tardar Sauce, nicknamed Grumpy Cat, was a telefloofic animal who always seemed to be disapproving of the world.”

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