Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Flooftweet (floofinition) – 1. Tweets about animals. 2. Tweets made by animals.
In use: “Many flooftweets (about a pet) could be flooftweets (made by a pet), as animals love secretly gaining control of people’s phones and computers and sending messages. As people never suspect animals are behind it, they often accuse others of hacking their accounts.”
Flooflantis (floofinition) – A lost continent where animals established their first settlement after arriving on Earth. Highly advanced, Flooflantis was said to exist in the Atlantic Ocean and was lost for several eons due to tectonic shifts. Humans who later learned of its existence attempted to pass it off as a lost Human civilization, as people didn’t believe that animals could be so advanced and capable.
In use: “Learning of Flooflantis through guarded conversations with pigeons, squirrels, dogs, and cats, Francis Bacon adopted the tale, changing the name to Atlantis and populating it with humans.”
Floofbreak (floofinition) – 1. Taking a holiday or vacation away from animals, especially household pets. 2. A pet or animal’s escape from a place or situation.
In use: “Carole King made national news after her Border Collie’s floofbreak because Carole searched for fifty-seven days to find her friend.”
EVSEDA (floofinition) – Acronym for Enjoyable Vortex of Sharing Every Day with Animals. EVSEDA is an expression coined to summarize the multiple pleasures and occasional frustrations experienced when living with animals, especially housepets. The vortex aspect of the acronym is to express how animals can monopolize time, attention, and energy in surprising and unexpected ways.
In use: “They had plans everyday, but EVSEDA often derailed their intentions as the cats, dogs, and goats played and chased, loved and cried, demanded attention, and struck sweet poses. Neither of them minded at all. EVSEDA enabled them to escape the world’s craziness. Both were privately certain that without EVSEDA, they’d probably be insane.”
Cubbyfloof (floofinition) – Birds, fish, and animals, particularly housepets, who enjoy hiding in small spaces.
In use: “Spock, the large goldfish, was a true cubbyfloof. He loved wriggling into the tiny castle on the aquarium’s bottom, and was so adept at it, staying still and hidden within its confines for long periods, that people looking for him often wondered if he’d escaped.”
“Don’t push me cuz I’m close to the edge. I’m trying not to lose my head.”
Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five’s classic rap song, “The Message” (1982) started streaming in me after dealing with our cat, Boo. Fair to Boo, a large bedroom panther, he suffers PTSD and is hypersensitive. His back fur has become terribly matted, and he’s too freaked to let us do anything about it. Exasperating. I feel for the cat, who is very smart, but after a bit of trying to do something about his fur and having him hissing, spitting, and swiping at me, only to turn around and come back to get petted again, I had to walk away.
And that’s when that line entered and the song started streaming in me.
Infloofsitive (floofinition) – Curious pet or animal who can’t resist inspecting and examining objects and sounds.
In use: “All the pets were infloofsitive, but the little miniature Border Collie, Sassy, and the elegant Russian Blue feline, Jazmine, were the two who always got up, padded into the other room to see what was going on, and then returned, notifying the rest that the end is not nigh after all.”
Macrofloof (floofinition) – A very large fish, bird, or animal, especially housepets.
In use: “Pancho, the Maine Coon Cat, was a natural macrofloof. Tall and long, Pancho weighed almost thirty pounds, but compared to his buddy, Cisco the Newfie, Pancho was almost a tiny beast. Almost. Cisco was a mega macrofloof.”
Floof-shaming (floofinition) – 1. Mocking an animal for their weight, body, infirmities, disabilities, shape, or color. 2. Poking fun of a person for their love and passion for animals.
In use: “Loving and owning animals sometimes leads to floof-shaming, when the owner’s relationship with their animals is called into question as signs of a mental or emotional problem.”
Today’s theme music is well known, and came about from playing with our ginger cat, Papi, aka, Meep. Meep was his original name, given for this sweet, strained version of meow that he had when we first met him.
Happy as he is about ninety percent of the time, he was in a frisky, rambunctious mood. We began one of our favorite games, hide and chase. As the game progressed, I first streamed “Run Through the Jungle” by CCR, sometimes singing parts of it to Papi, but as Papi quit playing to roll around and get some belly rubs, the music switched to “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns n’ Roses (1987).
A powerful, hard rock song with what seems like some serious, mocking lyrics, the song stayed with me, shoving other songs out of my head as I walked to begin my writing session.
Welcome to the jungle
We’ve got fun ‘n’ games
We got everything you want
Honey, we know the names
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you got the money, honey
We got your disease
Michael Seidel, writer 