Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
AC/Floofsie (floofinition) Australian hard floof group founded by bulldog brothers in the early 1970s, known for their hard-rocking sound.
In use: AC/FLoofsie have hit number one several times with songs like “Fur in Black”, “It’s a Long Jump to the Top”, and “Dirty Deeds (Done for Treats)”.
“Floof Fees” (floofinition) – A floof musical group formed by three brothers in the 1950s, Spike, Mike, and Tyke.
In use: “Recording for eight lives and over nine decades (in floof time), the Floof Fees formed an international following with such hits as “Sleepy Days, Busy Nights”, “Floof Talking”, “Nights on Floofway”, “Stayin’ Aloof”, and “Floof Fever”, which all charted in the top ten on Floofboard’s Top 100.”
Didn’t know how to label this dream. Had a little bit of multiple things, but one piece finally struck me as the oddest. So…
In the beginning…my wife and I were in townhome. We owned it and that’s where we lived. A lovely place, not anything brilliant, but modern and comfortable. Details past the rooms were the dream took place aren’t known. The dream was mospstly in the living room, beside a dining room and kitchen, a foyer adjacent to the living room, and the balcony, a large covered space accessible through a slider in the living room.
Cats and kittens are present. They’re busy, having fun. I’m sometimes petting them, sometimes feeding them. They’re like background.
My wife and I are talking about fixing our place up, changing some tiles, painting, minor things. We leave the place, going down the ground level (our place is on the third (top) floor). We meet friends on the green and cross to another building. Looking back, we see that, OMG, the gutter system just fell away. We’re horrified.
Only in retrospect do I see a dream paradox; we were living on the top floor; I knew that when I was in our place. Yet, when we see the gutters (drainspouts, etc.), we see them fail on a neighbors’ place above us. Odd, but I didn’t even notice it when it happened in the dream.
The gutter system itself was odd, too, consisting of a number of standard (in the U.S.) aluminum gutters along the roof but also spouts going down the side of the people. We didn’t think anything odd of them in the dream, though; it’s just in retrospect, again, that they don’t really fit what’s standard.
They had fallen away. We were horrified. What are we going to do? We must fix this. There’s also concern about the roof. Roof repairs are needed. A meeting is called to address it. We head that way.
Along the way, we’re ‘informed’ that the people above us are going to take care of the gutter and roof. They see it as their problem. Okay, great, we understand, but shouldn’t we shoulder some of the burden? My wife and I agree that we should, and make plans to approach the neighbor to inform them.
We arrive at the building where the meeting is being held. Going in, I realize that I have a badge, a photo identification, on a lanyard around my neck. Flipping it over, I see that I have a photo of Donald Trump, POTUS, with his name under. I don’t know how I came to have that (but it is a dream, innit?)
Walking into the room, I know that identification is wrong. I wait to be challenged, and it amuses me. I’m so amused, that I joke (in a poor imitation of Trump), “Nobody worry, there’s nothing to worry about, I’ll take care of it, I’m the greatest authority on roofs and gutters in the world.”
I’m holding my Trump badge up as I say that. Someone tells me that roofing and gutter experts are present, but I wave them off, continuing in my Trump impersonation, “They don’t know half of what I know. They know nothing.”
Nobody is getting the joke. I’m being hushed because several women in black uniforms (they look like police officers but lack insignia) are finishing up a conference call on an unrelated matter.
As I stop, watching them and waiting, the dream ends.
Floofminion (floofinition) – An area or place where animals practice self-government.
In use: “The household had multiple pets, but the humans made few rules; the animals’ floofminion had established mores and rules, and a few enforcers monitored behavior. The basic guidance was share the laps, beds, food, sunshine, and treats, and respect one another’s space, and we’ll all be fine.”
Floofpathy (floofinition) – The sympathy and empathy that one animal has for another.
In use: “While eating its kibble, the kitten noticed the dog wanting some. Demonstrating a little floofpathy, the kitty dished kibble out of the bowl and batted it to the dog.”
“This Is Spinal Floof” (floofinition) – Floofumentary about an English floof band and their misadventures during their latest U.S. tour.
In use: “Led by David St. Bernard and Nigel Floofnel, Spinal Floof was a flooftitious band whose minor 1960s pop hit, “Listen to What the Floof People Say” was part of the floof power movement.”
Profloofic (floofinition) – 1. A person or household with a large number of animals.
In use: “Birds, hamsters, guinea pigs, lizards, and turtles were all part of the profloofic household collection, along with the required cats and dogs, and a pig and goat, yet they were always ready to adopt more.”
2. Someone who champions or favors animals or animal rights over other priorities.
In use: “He’d decided, at last, that he was profloofic, that how people treat animals is the mark of our civilization and a bellweather for what matter happen in the future.”
Neofloofic (floofinition) – 1. Something that’s new to an animal.
In use: “The box was neofloofic for all the animals but that didn’t stop a march as all moved en floof to sniff it for evidence of its purpose and travels.”
2. Period when new animals first met humans after migrating to Earth.
In use: “Dogs and cats (who were thought to be domesticated by humans) arrived during the Neofloofic Wave and decided that conditioning people to take them in and care for them was easier than living as many other animals did, hunting others to eat while huddling for warmth, seeking shelter, and ensuring that they didn’t become the prey. Why seek new shelters when people were already building them?”
Tail Tickle (floofinition) – The response felt (sometimes with itching or light laughter) when an animal’s tail touches or sweeps across a human’s face.
In use: “Jumping up onto the desk, the cat hopped over the laptop’s keyboard, giving Michael a tail tickle as he passed.”
I was ’bout to go outside (and let a cat out) (it’s Boo’s morning habit to go out, do his business in a corner of the yard (the far left side behind the bushes, thank you), and then groom in sunshine) (unless it’s raining or snowing, of course) to gauge the weather (it looks pleasant and warm) when I stopped. Hand on door handle, I watched through the glass at a profusion of birds. The many birds me from opening the door and disrupting the little sparrows’ and jays entertainment.
Boo really wanted out, chittering and chattering at the birds (they were a joyfully noisy congregation). I wondered what’d brought them here.
The juxtaposition of birds and weather reminded me of an instrumental song, “Birdland” by Weather Underground (1977). I used to listen to this in the Philippines while burning candles, reading books, and sipping wine, a pleasure combo.
After the birds abruptly departed, I let the house panther (and jigsaw puzzle expert) out to do his thang, and then came in and re-acquainted myself with “Birdland”. That song always prompts a grin. Hope you hear it and grin, too.
Or at least, smile.
Michael Seidel, writer 