Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofo Voce (floofinition) – Voice modified or used specifically when speaking to animals.
In use: “Many people changed their pitch and tone when speaking to their pets, employing a floofo voce approach rich with their love and concern for their pets, but could also be employed with mild changes, to a play voice.”
Floof du Jour (floofinition) – Animal of the day in Froonch.
In use: “People often mentioned the floof du jour, but she could never select just one for such an honor. They were always all the floof of the day to her.”
Floof Thorogood & The Floof Destroyers (floofinition) – American musical group that fuses slide guitars with hard floof rock (flock) and blues styles.
In use: “Floof Thorogood & The Floof Destroyers put on an energetic show with songs like “I Eat Alone” and “Bad Through the Fur”, which are often used in television shows and movies.”
Infloofmation (floofinition) – Facts provided or learned about animals.
In use: “Living with an animal provided people with infloofmation, but didn’t necessarily make them animal experts. They often learned wide gulfs of differences usually existed between animals, even when they were of the same species.”
— National Floofographic Magazine, Floofuary 32, 2009.
Locked away, he had time to do things that he’d always intended to do. First would be to learn to communicate with the cat.
Yeah, he wasn’t crazy (so he told himself, trying to sound convinced). He thought he and the cat had a special connection. The little feline (it was little then, in the beginning, not so little now, relatively for a house cat – twenty-three pounds) marched up to him on the street and meowed like Whitney Houston singing “I will always love yooouuu,” bestowing the cat his name, Houston (because it was a male). It was like true fidelity from then on.
Houston was everywhere with him, monitoring his bathroom, trying to steal food (the lovable little thief) with his big white mitts, bolting across rooms and up walls (swear to God!). Now, aged three, Houston had settled into being a more dignified feline. Cagney (his name, distant relative to James, the actor) (he always used his last name, disliking his first name, the unobtrusive, forgettable “Jack”) thought that if Houston could talk, he would sound pretty close to James Earl Jones. From there (and the looks that the cat gave him), he’d decided that he and the cat could communicate, like, telepathically.
Engaging in an effort every day since he’d been self-isolated — this was day eight — he sat the cat in front of him and sat down. “Houston. Look at me. Look into my eyes.”
Although he appeared sleepy (it was time for his pre-nap nap), Houston did as told.
“I’m going to speak words to you. I want you to think them back to me. Do you understand?”
Cagney listened for a response. Yawning, Houston seemed to try to wake up to participate.
“I know you understand me. I know how smart you are.”
Thank you.
Cagney blinked. “What? Do you — ” Had he heard that? “Did you say, thank you.”
I did. You heard me.
“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.” Cagney stood up and spun around. He’d only half thought of what would happen next. Like how was he going to prove it? How was he going to prove it?
He stared down at Houston. Houston watched him with interest. “So you hear me, right, Houston?”
Yes, I do, Cagney.
“Okay, okay, I need more than that. Nod your head, nod your head if you understand me.”
Houston nodded his head.
Cagney jumped up and down laughing. “Holy shit. Holy she-it. I did it! We did it. I got to — where’s my phone? Where’s my cell? I gotta video this. Where’s my cell? Where’s my cell?”
Blue eyes bulging, Cagney scanned the room and skittered off. “Must’ve left it in the bedroom. Don’t move, Houston, stay right there, I’m coming right back.” He was out of the room and accelerating, sliding on the floor, and shouting over his shoulder.
Ears forward, Houston watched Cagney disappeared. He’d done it. He’d managed to lower the human’s defenses. Next step would be to take control over Cagney’s mind.
With his defenses down, it’d be as easy as catching a bird.
Floof Zappa and the Mothers of Invention (floofintion) – Hard floof rock (flock) group formed in California in the 1960s, known for experimental, floofedelic sound.
In use: “Floof Zappa and the Mothers of Invention’s album, We’re Only in It for the Kibble, satirized pet ownership, focusing on cat and dog owners, lampooning people who consider their pets to be their children.”
Floofstream (floofinition) – 1. The ideas, behavior, or attitudes that are regarded as normal or conventional for animals.
In use: “Floofstream beliefs (or was it baseless myth?) claimed the dogs and cats should be at one another, but her dogs and cats turned that belief on its head with their partnerships. Several of the cats even seemed to like the dogs better than other cars. No doubt, they seemed to like the dogs better than her, too, except when it was time to eat.”
2. The dominant trend in animal society.
In use: “As the idea that humans could be trusted, and even exploited to their advantage became more floofstream, animals began searching for new ways to improve animal-human relationships and build their partnership.”
R.F.M. (floofinition) – Early alternative floof-rock (flock) band formed in Athens, Georgia in 1980.
In use: “Best known for floofstream songs like, “Losing my Digestion,” alt-flock band R.F.M.’s hit, “Floof on the Moon” was a tribute to comedian Andy Floofman.”
When things are dark and all’s asleep,
he seeks the comfort of my feet.
When the day is warm and the insects drone,
he likes to lie beside my toes.
When I sit down to read or eat,
there he is again, settling on my feet.
Floofple (floofinition) – 1. Modern minted phrase for people who love and support animals and their rights.
In use: “Many floofple embrace an animals’ bill of rights, aimed at reducing animal abuse while encouraging people not to think of animals as dumb creatures who don’t have emotions.”
2. An affectionate, alternative expression used to refer to animals.
In use: “I was forced to stay home during the 2020 coronavirus pandemic, which didn’t exactly please the household floofple, as it interfered with their routines.”
Michael Seidel, writer 