Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Mondefloof (floofinition) – A misheard word or phrase that causes an animal’s reaction.
In use: “Noting that when she asked her husband where the wok was, the dog went for his leash to go for a walk, she vowed to spell wok in the future to avoid the mondefloof.”
Lunafloof (floofinition) – 1. Animal who acts silly.
In use: “Many puppies and kittens act like lunafloofs when they’re young, but Blur never matured, remaining an entertaining lunafloof racing about the house even at sixteen.”
2. A person who is overly enamored with animals.
In use: “Entering her home, you knew immediately from artwork, statues, photoraphs, you were in a lunafloof’s dwelling.”
Floofetry (floofinition) – Sonnets, odes, rhymes, and verses about animals.
In use: “One of the more famous examples of floofetry begins, ‘Oh, I wish that I will someday see, a poem as lovely as a floof, although we know most floofs are goofs, and those who live with them have the proof.'”
Only recall one dream from last night, but it was bold, sharp, and clear. Back in the military (again), I was trying to help a younger person, who was also in the military. This involved helping three young kittens while the airman was simultaneously trying to organize assistance and travel for a group of her peers. Located outside the U.S., she’d come to me for help contacting the powers-that-be back in the U.S. for some authorizations. I was generally/usually the correct contact for these matters in a unit, but this time, I’d not been given that authorization for some reason. I explained that to the airman. She kept pressing. We took it up the chain as I explained to the wing commander and unit commanders that I couldn’t help her because I’d not been given the authority in this instance.
(Meanwhile, the kittens kept disappearing (often in bed clothes and blankets), but I always recovered them, keeping them protected, and feeding them until I handed them off to someone who could foster them full time.)
The commanders all agreed, that was a temporary oversight and didn’t matter, dismissing it, certain that it was going to be rectified right away. While I couldn’t believe that they were so dismissive, the airman exuded a ‘told you’ air.
The dream ended.
Floofcocious (floofinition) – 1. An animal who exhibits mature qualities at an unusually early age.
In use: “The floofcocious young puppy approached the elderly dog with surprising reserve and respect, carefully stepping around them, letting them sleep.”
2. A person who understands and empathizes with animals at a very young age.”
In use: “The child was floofcocious, bottle-feeding orphaned kittens and puppies animals by the time she was four years old, sitting and comforting old dogs and cats at animal shelters when she was five, reading them stories every day.”
We were ordered into a car. My companion, a male, was up front in the passenger seat. Top down, the convertible car began speeding along.
I said, “Is it my imagination, or do I detect from the motion that this car is going backwards?”
No answer came. As I processed that null response, I said, “Is this a Rolls Royce?”
The driver was looking back over his shoulder. He was in the right hand front seat. Looking back as he did verified for me that we were going backwards — I couldn’t see over the sides of the car to be sure.
The driver was Sean Connery. As that registered, I debated, Sean Connery or James Bond?
I gathered that we were going backward around a cloverleaf exchange and then accelerated straight onto a highway. At that point, Connery executed a handbrake turn, reversing us 180. We now traveled in the correct position.
After a time, the car was pulled over. Telling us, “See you later,” Connery hopped out and waved good-bye.
My companion — a short, elderly white male — and I were relieved to be free of Connery and have position of our Rolls again, because we needed to turn the car in. Problem was, that wasn’t the car that was expected, and the company would be upset. We traveled back to the turn-in location where a tall, white man in a suit greeted us. After hearing our problem, he said, smiling, “No problem. I can make this go away.”
Some paperwork was processed. As that went on, I checked some physical records. These tracked my health and activities. I was shocked to discover they were marked SECRET in the standard stamp at the top. It flummoxed me to think that those innocuous records were marked secret. I then also discovered my CIA identification, a rueful reminder of the secret world I inhabited.
The tale man returned. “Slide your company card through this card reader.” I smirked at the expression, company card, but did as told. “Your bill is twenty-four dollars,” I was told. As I reacted, he added, “It’s been paid.”
My original companion and I went off in another car. Exiting the building, a young black male stopped us. “You’ll need this to get back in.” He handed us a laminated blue card with black grease pencil writing on it. As he walked off, I called out, “No, we don’t need that, we already have one.” I held our original up, showing it to him, and then flipped the other to him. It sailed like a flying disc.
He caught it without effort. “That was impressive,” I said.
He shrugged. “I do that all the time.”
“How many times a day?”
“At least three.”
That impressed me. My companion and I drove off.
Dream shift. I was on vacation, walking toward a river. Bending down as I reached the roaring, turbulent river, I rubbed a cat’s belly. Wondering who this friendly feline was, I investigated and discovered it was my own ginger mini-puma. As I talked to him, he rolled around and then stood and stretched.
I was worried. We were over a mile from home. “What are you doing here, so far from home?” I asked the cat. In response, he trotted ahead of me, as though he and I were journeying together.
The cat splashed through some water. I crossed onto a natural rock bridge. Standing over the raging white water, I saw something scything through the water ahead. I couldn’t say what it was. Then a bird attacked me. I swatted it away. Another bird then attacked. This bird latched onto my leg. As its claws dug in, I beat it until it released me. Realizing that two birds attacking me was unusual and guessed, they’re probably protecting nests in the rocks around me. With that conclusion, I hurried on.
Dream end.
Floofcident (floofinition) – Mishap involving an animal.
In use: “Trying to walk around the cats and puppies when she was making a meal resulted in a floofcident; the resulting crash cleared the room of animals.”
Zerofloof (floofinition) – 1. The first animal in a person’s life.
In use: “Despite going on to share life with a dozen more felines, Jade was forever the zerofloof, and she left her mark in ways no other could touch.”
2. A place or period when no animals are in one’s life.
In use: “He endured zerofloof twice and vowed after the second that he’d never be zerofloof again, because having a dog companion, someone to walk and talk with, someone he absolutely trusted, didn’t need to be experienced when there were so many beautiful dogs out there, waiting for the right person and home.”
Fast paws and sharp claws
can slice you in a second
the cat said, purring
Michael Seidel, writer 