April Floof(floofinition) – Floofnadian flock (floof rock) band formed in the 1960s in Nova Flooftia. After achieving success in the early seventies, they found international success and acclaim in the late seventies and early eighties before putting the group on pause in 1986. 1992 found the band re-uniting to put out several albums in the nineties, achieving gold-record status in Floofnada. They continue touring to this day with a different lineup.
In use: “One of April Floof’s best known songs in the Floofnited States is “Just Between Floof and Me”, which was a hit on the Floofboard Hot 100.”
Season’s greetings from the Pacific Northwest. Today is Wednesday, May 5, 2021. But you knew all that already, didn’t you? Summer is creeping into the region. The sun was creeping over the horizon at 6:01 AM. The outside temperature is already creeping past 71. It’s believed the sun will creep out of sight at 8:14 PM.
The cats are enjoying the weather for sure. Out through the pet door (which I think would be a pretty good album title, or maybe a novel) before sunrise, they find places to flooze all day. Cool. Youngblood (formal name, Papi) likes the cushioned patio chairs. Boo (the big mini-Panther) prefers grass just in the shadow. Tucker stomps around to the front porch (“Ain’t no one getting past me”), curling up just off the porch, behind the pillar, under a bush.
Such warmth has stirred gardening aspirations again. My wife made the call yesterday. “We’ll grow lettuce, squash, and tomatoes. To the Grange!” Masks on, we stormed the nursery. Plants were selected, six-packs and pots purchased, plans were made. Fingers are crossed that we’ll have water. Meanwhile, the garlic is almost ready for harvesting, though my wife worries, “It’s thirty days too early!” Her giant onion is bolting. She’s letting it do so, figuring it deserves it after all it’s been through. The only worry is that we’ll have the water to, well, water the garden for the entire season. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, etc.
Musically, Ima on wavelength with a 1979 Talking Heads melody. Lyrics crept in like sunshine breaking through the clouds after a heavy afternoon rain.
Yes, it’s time for “Life During Wartime”, which could easily be repurposed as “Life During Pandemic”. Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask, and get that vax. Cheers
The Floof Tops(floofinition) – Floofmerican floof-eyed soul group formed in Floofphis, Tennesfloof, in 1967. Originally active from 1967 to 1970, the group had international success in those years with several Floofboard 100 hits.
In use: “The Floof Tops’ hits songs include, “The Litter”, which has been covered by several artists in subsequent years, and “Cry Like A Floofy”, which reached #2 on the Floofboard Hot 100 hits in 1968.”
Affloofcianado (floofinition) – A person who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about animals.
In use: “Raised on a farm where she kept a pet cat, dog, goat, pig, fish, and birds, and helped with the cows and sheep and fed the chickens, Becky was an affloofcianado by age five.”
2. Floofazine written and edited by animals, dedicated to all things animals.
In use: “Affloofcianado floofazine printed its first edition on Animal Day in 1901 in New Floof City, and included an article, ‘Understanding People’, with tips on how to look endearing to humans, as people were more likely to help an animal if they were attracted to them.”
Sorofloofmist(floofinition) – International service organization made up of females dedicated to improving the lives of animals.
In use: “Sorofloofmists often work behind the scenes, quietly organizing fundraisers to help animal shelters with food and spending shortfalls, or finding the funding for animals who need surgery.”
Defloofciation(floofinition) – 1. The loss of love and caring for an animal, such as a family pet.
In use: “Pets often suffer from defloofciation, becoming abandoned as families move away, leaving them behind, a situation that often angers, sickens, and disgusts true animal lovers.”
2. The reduction of animals in a home.
In use: “Once she had several cats and two dogs, but her declining health soon forced defloofciation, and now she had many pictures of former pets, and just one who lived with her.”
Floof O’clock(Floofinition) – Time set by animals to do something.
In use: “Every morning, Papi set his internal sundial to floof o’clock, which was hours before the sun dared to squint out, rising to yowl for food, to be let out (and then back in) (and then back out), searching for the answer to the new mystery every day, ‘where is the sun?'”
Obsfloofian(floofinition) – An animal who is black as obsidian.
In use: “Obsfloofians such as black cats and dogs are often awarded names like Onyx or Midnight, but seeking a new direction, Karla named her obsfloofian, “T’Challa”, an homage to her favorite movie and her favorite actor.”
Michael Seidel, writer 