Flooftween(floofinition) – 1. A period when a household doesn’t have a resident animal.
In use: “After losing Grace, they stayed flooftween for a few weeks before a new animal found them.”
2. When an animal is jointly engaged in two locations.
In use: “His pets love it when he opens the back or front door, as that allows them to be flooftween, lying on the floor in the house in front of the door, half in, half out.”
3. An animal shared by more than one.
In use: “The big black and white tom was supposed to be a stray but the flooftween was known as Mike at one house, Scratchy at another, Fluffy at a third, and Samson at a fourth, enjoying food service, napping locations, and playing and grooming episodes at all four sites.”
Late log in on this August 14, a Sunday in the common era human year of 2022. That’s the date according to the instruments. Looks like a decent world. I’ve already sampled the drink which they call coffee and sent a glowing report back to headquarters. Feel like I can fly back there without a ship after drinking that coffee!
Greetings from Earth! I made it. As expected, the situation for humanity is swiftly deteriorating. Few of them should remain in another five hundred of their years, making our conquest very easy. I am looking forward to it.
The data specifies that I’ve landed in a small town in the Rogue River valley in Oregon in the United States on North America – their terms. Sol, their local sun – they only have one – passed the eastern horizon as the world turned at 6:17 this morning, using their time reference, shortly after I touched down. Air samples revealed the fresh, oxygen-rich atmosphere that we’d anticipated and a temperature of 22 Gluck, cool for us but a comfortable temperature for humans and most other life firms of this small rock. I’ll stay here, where the temperature will reach 30 G until the sun sets. I want to see a Terran setting sun. I heard that pollution makes them very pretty. That sunset will take place at 8:13. Then I’ll take off and continue to my final destination, Mars. It’ll be interesting to see how Mars as changed since I’ve last been.
Meanwhile, I’ll drink coffee and listen to human music. Influences of others who’ve been to Earth are felt. Although a large spectrum of music is available, the genres and its offspring known as rock and roll most please my neurons. There seems to be a mental musical stream which this music has ignited. I have one particular song, which I’ve learned is called “Crossfade” by Cold, playing in this stream. (Sorry, I have that backwards. I don’t understand this aspect of their terminology, and why Crossfade is the band’s name and “Cold” is the song title. Perhaps I’ll study it while I’m here.) I find myself inexplicably humming this song, “Cold”, off and on as I do other things. The song came out about one hundred years after I hatched, which would make it 2005 on Earth. I do not know why it continues to play in me in this way. I’m not the first to experience this, of course. Elvis warned us about it in his report, for example.
I am going to drink more coffee now. As always, my Lygers, stay positive and test negative. Hope to be home again in a mersoon. Meanwhile, please enjoy this song which is trapped in my head. See what you make of it.
A small orange striped creature which humans call a cat is approaching. It seems to know our language! I will provide an update later.
Imfloofdence(floofinition) – Animal behavior marked by cocky boldness.
In use: “While other kittens kept close to Mom, Jazz was the picture of imfloofdence, marching up to adult cats and dogs and challenging them to duels, and aggressively trying to steal food from everyone everywhere.”
The wheels of time rolled through another day into Thirstday, August 11, 2022. Thirstday, the time of week when you pause to think of the things for which you thirst. Maybe it’s unrequited love. Or something simpler and more personal, like a cancer cure. Perhaps you thirst for food security and shelter, social justice, or equality. It could be that you thirst for another time, when you knew yourself as a younger person with a wide-open horizon before you. Our thirsts are different, Thirstday reminds us.
Sunshine tore the night covers back at 6:14 AM. The sun’s valley reign will go on to 8:17 PM, taking our temperatures from 18 C where we now sit to 90 F by late afternoon. A wondrously blue sky highlights the day’s placid nature. Everything looks calm, peaceful, and serene. Only arguing jays break the morning stillness.
Wasn’t so a short while again. The house floofs love this weather. Papi turned in a record mad dash as the halls and rooms became LeMans. He took the Mulsanne Straight chicanes flat out, demonstrating mind-blowing speed and control as Tucker watched with bristling white whiskers.
The Neurons have turned to Bill Withers, sliding an old high-school favorite by him from 1972, “Use Me”, into the morning mental music stream. I understand The Neurons’ reasoning. It’s a dream thing which I’m still unknotting. It’s a good song to hear again, to help look back on things in a quiet pause between more urgent matters. Though we never knew one another, Bill and I lived in the same town, Beckley, WV, for a few years. Yeah, it was separated by about six years, so meeting him was remote. Did see him in concert once and have great admiration for him.
My Thirstday coffee is a-calling from the kitchen counter. Stay positive, test negative, etc., endure, survive, and go on to thrive. Here’s the music. Cheers
Flooficacy(floofinition) – 1. An animal’s power to produce an effect.
In use: “The floof book which almost every young floof uses, Training A Human, A Guide for Young Floofs, instructs young floofs to learn early which method of swaying your human has the best flooficacy – big eyes, sweet noises, silly action, playfulness, or deep loving.”
2. Something pleasing to animals to eat that is considered rare or luxurious.
“Same the beagle loves American cheese, but his people give it to him so infrequently that it’s a flooficacy in his mind.
3. The state or quality of being an animal with a diminutive stature.
In use: The flooficacy of young animals such as kittens, puppies, kids, and lambs, often stir people.”
