Little Things
My surgery has been over for hours. After catching up on sleep, I’m ravenous because I haven’t had food since ten last night. With a diet limited to cold soft foods, I’m eating sorbet and thinking about what I can eat.
My wife begins reading an article aloud. “Women are having problems creating intimate relationships with men because of men’s addiction to porn.” One part is about a woman asking men if they watch porn. They deny it until she shares what kind of porn she likes.
The story swerves into men spending hours in the bathroom. The writer mocks the idea that they’re having long bowel movements and mentions they probably wouldn’t be in there that long without their phones.
“They’re watching porn on their phones?” I ask.
My wife nods.
“I don’t get that. What in the world would you be able to see on that little screen?”
“I know.” My wife points at our television. “We have that big screen. I watch carefully and feel like I still miss a lot.”
“Yes, and people watch sports on their phones, too. I don’t get that. During football games, they’re always blowing up scenes to show, is the knee down? Was his toe out of bounds?”
“How do people see these things on phone screen?” my wife responds.
“Exactly.”
My wife puts her feet up and closes her eyes. It’s been a long day for her. She had to go in with me and stay for the entire surgery, then drive me home.
I finish my sorbet and wonder what to eat next that’s cold and soft and fantasize about a hot bowl of chile.
Thursday’s Theme Music
Ashland, Oregon — February 12, 2026.
It’s too dark out now to see the weather but at 36 F, it’s not warm. We are expecting a 60-degree high, so sunshine must be coming.
Papi is bugged because we’re up early, showing this by walking around, sniffing and chatting. We’re up early for my dental surgery, so this is a brief entry.
Besides surgery day, it’s also President Lincoln’s birthday, a time for sales, speeches, and reflections. Lincoln was a driving force behind the Republican Party. Hard to believe that the GOP came to be created in a time of polarization and a fight over slavery that ended in war. Now we stand again, a nation polarized by values and philosophy, wondering if it will end again in war.
In his Gettysburg Address, Lincoln referred back to the Declaration of Independence and the founders’ idea, never fully realized, “All men are created equal.” We’ve since modified laws to be more inclusive so that this idea isn’t limited to a subset of our nation’s citizens, but by all. Yet some still try to reject the principle that we are all equal. We hear again that no, certain people are not, based upon where they were born, their sexual orientation, or religion. Instead of being the inclusive vision first mentioned, some are trying to alter that vision. Racism and sexism are both being more openly practiced.
Honoring the sense of freedom, here’s the Who with “I’m Free”. May you and all your family be free, healthy, and safe. Cheers
Hi Yourself
Stepping into the coffee shop, I immediately scan for a table and chair to sit and write.
It’s late morning and busy. Aha, though — two tables are there for —
“Hey, Michael.”
I’m being accosted from across the room. The speaker is a barista. Having shouted out my name, they’ve busy multi-tasking.
Spotting Kat first, I begin, “Hey, Ka — “
I see Natalie.
I don’t know which called out.
So I finish, “Talie.”
Chuckling to myself about this, I dumped my gear at a table and head to the counter. Kat is manning the register and Natalie is busy preparing my coffee. I hear Natalie say, “Curling,” before she turns away.
Kat asks, “Let me ask you, Michael. Are you watching the Olympics?”
“Only the curling,” I reply.
Natalie roars with laughter as Kat’s mouth drops open.
“No way,” Kat finally says.
“Yes, way,” I answer. “By the way. When I came in, I heard one of you say hello to me. I didn’t know who it was, so I called you Katalie.”
The two bend over with laughter. “We ARE Katalie,” Kat shouts. Whipping toward each other, she and Natalie exchange high fives.
I pay and take my coffee. The writing day has an auspicious beginning.
Wednesday’s Theme Music
Wednesday, February 11, 2026, and it feels like spring is launching in Ashland. Let’s call it a false spring. 51 F with unchallenged blue skies and sunshine, 60 F is the expected high. Papi would be so happy, except a balmy breeze, which chases him back inside to nap his misery away.
I have dental surgery tomorrow, disrupting the normal flow, and spent time this morning responding to texts about Mom’s mental issues. Connecting dots, my thoughts turned toward an overheard conversation from yesterday.
Sitting in the coffee shop, typing and thinking, two women of about my age shared a table to my right. Music and conversations were cooking but now the room was empty. The two women’s conversation floated to me through the sudden quiet.
One chatted for a while about health concerns regarding her mother, daughter, and herself. The tone changed a little as the other one talked about her concerns over Trump’s policies, ICE, and the general news tone, which she referenced as ‘disturbing’.
The first woman agreed with her and they both addressed concerns about being tired and depressed. Then they touched hands and smiled, telling each other how much it meant to meet and have moments like this.
I studiously tried to stay out of their circle. But one glanced at me and smiled as they rose to leave. Smiling back, I said, “I hope you have a beautiful day.” Thanking me, she wished the same for me.
Their conversation resonated because it feels like an echo of my life, and other people I know. We’re all sailors trying to navigate change. Some of it is about aging, maturing, dying, not necessarily depressing but certainly generally somber matters. Norms for me and them are shifting, and so are expectations. Our emotions become compressed under the loads we carry.
With all that rolling through me, along with dreams, The Neurons’ morning mental music stream offering is Harry Styles singing, “As It Was”.
Chorus
In this world, it’s just us
You know it’s not the same as it was
In this world, it’s just us
You know it’s not the same as it was
As it was, as it was
You know it’s not the same
That about sums up my reflections this morning: it’s not the same.
Hope peace and grace find and carry you forward into a better future.
Cheers
A Traveling Dream, and Other Snippets
Dreamed I was going to a camp. Just a small sort of outdated place, with low wood-framed buildings painted brown or dark red, with a flat, slanted roof. A woman I’d just met was going with me, along with her sister.
We arrived in a 1970s era dark Dodge Charger or Ford Torino. I was driving and it was night when we arrived. The sisters had no place to sleep. I told them they could share my bed or sleep in the car, or I could sleep in the car, but I didn’t really want to. They ended up sleeping with me, one on either side.
Later, we got up to go find food and ran into other people I casually knew. They had soup and bread. We asked where they got it and headed toward a little shack they indicated. It was a dark place with a low ceiling, where we discovered we needed to pay in marks. I didn’t have any marks so the sister paid a 1,000 marks for food for me.
We ate and then separated. I wandered, exploring, following winding dirt paths between the buildings and trees at this tiny resort. Night was falling and I didn’t have any marks, so I didn’t know what to do. I did have dollars but not a large amount.
It was dark. I went back to my car. Another car, very like it, was parked beside it. Both with nose in, the rear ends toward me. As I reached my car, I looked over to the other car and saw the sisters sitting in it. I wondered if they’d gotten into the wrong car by mistake.
Dream end.
This was one of three dreams remembered from last night, but the most coherent and lucid.
Can’t recall much of the other two dreams. They’re shifting, like almost there, not quite remembered or forgotten. The strongest of the two had me carrying baking tins. Something finished was in it but I don’t know what. Others were doing the same. Many of the others looked like me but were slightly different. When I offered my baking tin, I saw that their offering was fully risen and mine was flat. I went off, got another like magic, and it was full. I went to give it to someone else, but discovered it was flat again. All of this took place outside in bright sunshine on a calm day.
The main thing I remember from the third dream was that I was happy and laughing a lot. And younger, but an adult.
Ah, night work.
Another DIY Challenge!
A foul odor haunts the master bathroom, where a water closet shares a tiled shower stall.
When the smell — something smelly but not sweet — struck a few days ago, I thought, what the hell is that? Then I began trying to figure it out.
I’m really not sure where the smell is coming up. Several ideas hit my brain: broken or backed-up sewer line, broken toilet seal, or shower P trap, with an almost ancillary worry, maybe it’s a dead animal or animal latrine in the crawl space.
The shower isn’t used that often, typically three times a week, typically three to six minutes. I know this because I’m the only one who uses it, so I know when someone steps into the shower instead of the bath.
The smell lacks the ‘sweet decay’ that a dead animal often exudes. It’s more of a crappy smell. I noticed, too, that it seemed to dissipate when I showered. That said, I wasn’t positive that I wasn’t just becoming tolerant with exposure. The smell isn’t growing, either.
There’s no smell outside, and no wet areas or especially green growths, so I don’t think it’s a broken sewer line. The floor around the toilet isn’t soft, wet, or showing stains, and the toilet doesn’t rock when I use it, so I don’t think it’s the toilet wax seal.
Given what I’ve read and experienced, I think it’s that P trap. So now I’ll investigate, try different suggestions, see what results.
It’s not the largest problem I face, or the world has. Just another thing to pull my attention from other things.
Just what 2026 needs.
Taking Stock: Another Year of Trump
With another year under Trump completed, it’s time to take stock.
I was one of those who predicted that Trump would be aggressive in his immigration policies and against political opponents, and would be detrimental to our nation. I believed Trump’s social, economic, and trade policies would worsen life for people in poverty or needing assistance. And, while there may have been places where the Federal government could have been trimmed, DOGE’s cuts did not address needs or cause and effect.
So, here we sit.
Affordability remains an issue for many places and families, even if Trump and his cabinet claim otherwise.
Plans for more ICE facilities have community leaders across the nation pushing back, worrying about social and economic impacts.
Dealing with flattening revenue streams and running out of surplus funds, local and state taxes and fees are rising to compensate for Federal cutbacks.
Insurance rates and repair costs for personal vehicles are rising. So, too are healthcare premiums and healthcare costs, further eroding spending power for many families and individuals.
Housing prices are high, and Trump says he wants them to go higher.
New car sales dropped in 2025, surprising analysts who thought sales would rise.
Uncertainty among corporations is showing up in job reports. Corporate layoffs touched a level not seen since the 2008 recession. New employment is flat with companies backing off hiring plans. Minority unemployment rose, and disparities widened.
Tourism to the United States is down, affecting the hospitality and tourism industries. It’s uncertain now how proposed Trump policies to request people’s social media history might affect travelers to the United States.
Measles outbreaks continue to rise in the United States. 2025 saw 2,255 cases, the most since 2000. 2026 is expected to be worse.
These patterns culminated in falling consumer confidence in 2025.
None of this surprises me. History and science told me that this is where Donald Trump’s philosophy would lead. The results are catching up with his decisions.
And voters are awakening to the impact.
Michael Seidel, writer 