Author: Michael Seidel

Science fiction, fantasy, and mystery writer. Singer (sorry, no shows) & nudist (in my home). Beer, cat, cheese, coffee, pie and wine friend. Left IBM and Silicon Valley for the southern Oregon life but I miss the ocean. We're too far inland. Gotta move.

The Games and Winning Dreams

What sensational dreams last night. I dreamed I was playing games, just a flow of games – video, pinball, baseball, volleyball, football. None of this was organized. Although an adult male, I ran from game to game with childish enthusiasm, played and won. And as I played and won, I realized a big board, like an arena scoreboard, showed my growing point totals. My points were rising so quickly and to such levels, everyone else was getting excited. Then, others started coming by and telling me, “Your big payout is coming. You’re going to win a big price.” My wife joined me, and was so happy and expectant. As for me? I was all grin as I played and won again, again and again, never losing.

Such a buoyant dream, full of positive energy. It was awesome.

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Thursday’s Theme Music

Today’s song streamed into my head after I thought of another song.

The other song was “Sara Smile”, by Hall and Oates, which I thought of after meeting a friend’s daughter named Sarah. After thinking about it while walking, I remembered “She’s Gone” by the same duo.

“She’s Gone” (1974) came out during a period of struggle in my relationship with my girlfriend. I’d graduated high school and she was traveling Europe with a nun. I felt lost, and ended up enlisting in the military, upsetting just about everyone I knew. That’s life, right? “She’s Gone” appealed to my sense of loss, frustration, searching, and self-pity. I particularly enjoyed the lyrics, “Think I’ll spend eternity in the city. Let the carbon and monoxide choke my thoughts away, yeah.”

What a time. Hormones, you know? Etc.

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Brace Yourself

Brace yourself. It’s time for another first world rant. This time it’s about my car.

It’s a lovely SUV, a Mazda CX-5 that I’ve had three plus years. One of its many features is that it reminds me when maintenance is required. This vehicle requires more maintenance than any car I’ve ever owned, which includes Porsches, BMWs, Audis, Mercedes, Chevys, Nissan, other Mazdas, and Fords. Although the car is comfortable and reliable, this constant maintenance thing pisses me off.

So that’s number one. But here comes the reminder. Once it decides that maintenance is required, the message in orange is displayed whenever the car is started.

Here is what pisses me off. That thing is so inaccurate. The good Mazda people put a little sticker on the windshield, too, so I know exactly when it’s supposed to be returned for maintenance. According to it, my car should go back for maintenance by January 10, 2019, or by 33,000 miles, whichever is comes first.

My car has 30,000 miles. According to MY calendar, it’s not yet December, let alone January of 2019.

Yeah, it’s a nice feature. Too bad it doesn’t work. Makes you wonder about the rest, doesn’t it?

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Multi-tasking

I was having drinks with a friend the other night. Frank is fully twenty-three years older than me, putting him in his mid-eighties. A retired professor and writer, he’s good company.

So it wasn’t surprising that we were ribbing each other and laughing when he suddenly sneezed and loudly farted. My reaction was to ask, “Frank, are you all right?”

“You notice that?” he said. “I did four things simultaneously.”

Before I could think more or speak, he said, “I laughed, sneezed, farted, and peed all at the same time. Now that’s multi-tasking.” Standing, he added, “Excuse me. I need to go to the restroom.”

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Mind over matter.

I came by Viktor Frankl’s book via quality management in the Air Force. I’d been trained as a facilitator, and then an instructor, teaching other facilitators and instructors. “Man’s Search for Meaning” brought powerful insights into the part of quality Air Force known as creating a vision. People are fearful of failing. Even after accepting that failure is necessary to succeed on an intellectual level, people often find themselves paralyzed by fear of failure on an emotional level. The baggage we accrue is heavy, and letting go is difficult. I struggle with it all the time. Fortunately, I entertain myself as I struggle, but then, I’m easily entertained.

Dr. Andrea Dinardo's avatarThriving Under Pressure

dream

When the going gets tough do you focus on the dream or the sacrifice?

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl

Boost your motivation and raise your energy by laser focusing on what is within your control during challenge and adversity — Your Mindset

Related Post: The stories we tell ourselves.

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Brinkfloofship

Brinkfloofship (floofintion) – a housepet’s practice of pushing an uncomfortable or undesirable situation or confrontation to the limit to force a desired outcome

In use: “Tail swishing, the little cat stalked the old Tom despite the latter’s growls, taking its brinkfloofship to levels not seen before and the house, and prompting the German Shepherd to intervene to keep the peace.”

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Wednesday’s Theme Music

Today’s theme music comes via Patriot on Amazon. I’ve been watching the first year. I enjoy the underplayed, minimalist, absurdist show, but its opening theme song caught my attention. I felt that I knew it but I didn’t know anything about it.

Wikipedia provided the needed details. “Train Song” by Vashti Bunyan. Originally released in 1966, I thought I knew it from that era, but found that it could have been from exposure as its use in Reebok ads or “True Detective”. Whichever the route, I find it haunting and sweet. In an aside, I discovered Vashti Bunyan has been called the “Godmother of Freak Folk.” Would that be Frock?

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Sick, Compromised, Logical, and Wrong

I confess, I’m not a good person to have as your driver on vacation. Yes, I’m safe, aware, and involved, but I’m also goal oriented. I’m driving for that destination. Stop to look at the view? That’ll slow us down. Eat? What? You have to pee? Are you kidding me?

Yes, once I put a goal into place, it’s hard to abandon. It’s true with my driving and my writing. What is a strength is also a problem.

I’m debating about a sixth book in the Incomplete States series. (The working title, The Final Time, came to me as soon as part of the brainstorm that inundated me last night.) It’s a logical decision to me, as though I’m in control of the whole thing. Yes, and no, of course.

First, I acknowledge, I’m a little sick of working on the series, sick in the sense that I need a time-out. Sick, as in the sense that I was eager to work on something different. I have a goal in mind, and I’m almost there. I don’t want to turn away from that goal. I see and understand that about myself.

I thought that maybe I could compromise with myself and my muses. I will write some on the side, maybe, maybe not, we’ll see (he said, hedging his commitment), and continue editing full-time. Yes, that sounds like a good compromise.

Yes, I’m pretty stupid at times, thinking that it’s all about logic, control, and goals.

That’s not it at all.

I forgot that I write for myself. I write for myself in the sense that I am my number one fan, and my number one reader. I write for myself because I want to know what I think. I want to know the story. To now think of the story and try to apply the brakes is ridiculous. I want to explore it; I want to know.

That means I must write it.

That might all fizzle out, of course. Perhaps as I begin exploring it, the story will peter out. I’ll conclude, there’s not anything more to write and learn here. I might write some and realize, well, this is really just part of the last book.

I don’t know. It’s foolish to waste time contemplating what might happen or whether I have a decision to make. I’m a writer, and must write, and then I’ll decide what to do with it.

My coffee is at hand. Time to write and edit like crazy, at least one more time.

 

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