Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
I’ve not read others’ posts about lessons they wished they’d learned earlier in life yet. I wouldn’t be surprised if others express the same lesson learned which I learned, a lesson I’ve learned several times. It’s simple: trust yourself. Though I’m not the smartest or wisest individual, I need to trust my intelligence. Though not the most talented, trust my talents. Pay attention to the little voice when it’s trying to encourage me and pay attention when it’s warning me.
Pause, here, to note, I feel naked staking this claim, naked, vulnerable, egotistical, and needy. But I’m swallowing those things to push myself to be honest and open here, to share this so that others can take a lesson from my lesson.
My self-confidence was frequently smothered when I was young. I kept getting bludgeoned by a stepfather who told me I was stupid. He told me that all the time: “You’re stupid. You don’t think.” That recurring process eroded my self-confidence. I started shutting my mouth, retiring to a place to be stupid by myself, becoming a loner. I was and am comfortable as a loner, so that wasn’t that great a change. But my doubt about my potential was really a killer. Since I stayed quiet and didn’t participate in things, I constantly surprised classmates with high test scores, good grades, and accomplishments. When honors came my way later, people were astonished. Then, later, people nicknamed me ‘The Professor’.
Yet, I continued to doubt my skills and abilities. I still do. Everything I attempt requires not one but several pep talks. That usually accompanies procrastination until I build up the courage to make an attempt to myself out, to brace myself to be exposed as an imposter. It also causes me to overtry, which can also end in bad results. In short, like bunches of other people, I’m a headcase.
I have come a long way. Some minor successes have fed that. My wife’s trust in me has fed it, too. So have comments and support from friends and bosses. And teachers; my teachers often saw and cultivated good things in me, and I owe them a doubt too large to ever be fully repaid. I’ve been fortunate in that I have had good friends, good teachers, and good bosses. Despite them, I keep forgetting that lesson about myself. My self-confidence gets smothered again and again. I still hear my stepfather telling me, “You’re stupid.” I do keep learning the lesson that I’m not, but I wish I could keep that lesson in the forefront of my being: trust yourself. You’re not stupid.
You’re better than you imagine yourself to be.
I’ve often stated that I write to help me understand what I think. Writing is a process that forces me to slot things into a more coherent order. That process helps me dig up what’s really bugging me below the surface of my reactions.
I spent time yesterday walking and then writing myself a letter. It was almost like meditating for me, with surprising results. Turned out that I was angrier, more frustrated, and more depressed than I realized. Baring it all to myself helped me shed those things and reinvigorate myself. Some of the anger was irrational, railing at life for the afflictions happening to friends and family. Some, on a deeper level, were revelations to myself about how I perceived others and my relationships with them.
But once again, writing came through for me. I’m happy with the outcome. Purging my psyche of that anger and depression lifted my spirits and restored my energy levels.
Oblivious to facts —
Well, that’s the beginning of a description for many 21st century Republicans in the MAGA age. Oblivious to facts, tone deaf, weak willed, spineless, and unfaithful to their Constitutional duty. But today’s focus sharpens on Marjorie Taylor Greene. As she has before, Marjorie Taylor Greene is calling for a ‘national divorce’. Take it, Marjorie:
“There is nothing left to talk about with the left. They hate us,” Greene wrote on X, adding:
They assassinated our nice guy who actually talked to them peacefully debating ideas.
Then millions on the left celebrated and made clear they want all of us dead.
To be honest, I want a peaceful national divorce.
Our country is too far gone and too far divided, and it’s no longer safe for any of us.
h/t to Mediate via MSN.
Who is the ‘nice guy’ ‘they’ assassinated? That would be Charlie Kirk. The ‘they’ who assassinated it turned out to be one of MTG’s own tribe. Maybe she should break up with that part of the tribe. I do think that would be difficult; hate and stupidity forge strong bonds for the weak-willed and shallow-minded.
I call her and them weak-willed and shallow-minded for how ‘they’ turned from disparaging Trump to idolizing him. I call her and them that for what they say about immigrants, and how they pretend to be good Bible-toting Christians whenever it serves them while mainly and primarily disregarding the Bible and its tenets. I say that about her specifically because she took an oath to defend the Constitution. Advocating a ‘national split’ is scarcely defending the Constitution. But as she attempts to pretend, her religion is more important than her oath of office. But as we see, too, her claims about being religious is really just cover for her hatemongering of the left.
My opinion of Marjorie Taylor Greene has been low since I’ve first read about her. She’s silly. Shallow, a true broken window thinker. As others will do more deeply and intelligently, I want to point out that a ‘divorce’ among blue and red states is bigly problematic. Red states are basically poor, uneducated, and not among the healthiest of citizens. They need Federal funds more frequently and deeply than blue states do. They often turn out to be hateful and bigoted, too. Under red leadership, red states and cities are often the most violent.
MTG goes on in her post to say, “Government is not answer, God is. Turn your full faith and trust to our Almighty God and our Savior Jesus. Tighten your circle around your family and protect them at all times.”
Well, gosh, Marjorie. What ’bout that Bible verse that says, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Even an atheist like me has learned that one.
What about that one in the Bible that says, “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot[a] love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.”
I do not hate Marjorie Taylor Greene. I pity her. More, I pity her constituents. They deserve better than this self-serving individual. But, I guess they got what they voted for. She finishes, “I will pray for the left, but personally I want nothing to do with them.”
Back at you, MTG. I hope your supporters come to their senses and vote you out. Even if they do, I’m sure you’ll find a home on some right-wing media site where you’ll keep spewing misinformation and hatred until you wither and fade.
Munda, September 15, 2025, has settled in against a backdrop of clear blue skies and warm sunshine. Summer is hanging on, taking us from overnight lows in the lower fifties to an 85 F high. All things end, though, and summer’s last days are coming on in the northern hemes.
I spoke to Dad this morning. He’s still in the rehab center. His voice was not strong. This latest ordeal really seemed to suck his life energy out of him. But…it might also be that he had just gotten out of a very hot shower and said he was sleepy. On a more positive side, my wife seems over her illness. She ate yesterday, picked up a book and read, and went to exercise class this morning.
Had a storm of dreams again last night. Went from being in the military trying to get a haircut to being in charge of a process with IBM and ISS, the Internet security companies where I worked, to recover and shut down security equipment. The latter was a messy, disorganized affair, and no one had done anything, so I was taking it on. Out of the blue toward the end, three young women, teenagers, really, appeared to help me with the computers. They weren’t much assistance at first, as they lacked knowledge but they were eager and energetic. With their help, I began wrangling the mess into something bearing some coherency.
Back to some rock ‘n roll for Munda. I was singing “Honky Tonk Kitty” to Papi this morning after he chirped appreciation for the food being delivered to him. Naturally, my song inspired The Neurons to fire up memory of the Rolling Stones tune in the morning mental music stream, as it’s quite similar to what I was singing.
Today’s project is about getting tree branches cut back from the neighboring apartment complex. I’d do it but realized that some of the branches are higher than my reach, even if I’m standing on a pile of books on top of a ladder where they tell you not to stand because it’s unsafe. I’ve reached out to the apartment complex to start a dialogue about my needs and intentions. They were out of office, so I left a message. Next steps would be to talk with them and then get estimates and get ‘er done.
Hope peace and grace find and lift you up today and every day. Coffee is doing some heavy lifting in me today. Time to bounce on into the day. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 